ASG Posted April 14, 2012 Posted April 14, 2012 For me, if a guy told me that, I would run, not walk. Simple because it would make us completely incompatible. I'm not prepared to give up sex in my life and I'm not gonna rush into marriage with someone just because of it. Also, I believe sex is a VERY important part of any relationship and I don't commit to a relationship without having test driven it and made sure we were compatible. 2
manup Posted April 14, 2012 Posted April 14, 2012 Sounds good to me I'm a virgin myself, though I would prefer if she were a virgin and preferrably religious herself so I would like to know her reasons since it does seem wierd that she has had sex with other men but now all of a sudden wanting chastity. If i were you, I would be weary of liars.
carhill Posted April 14, 2012 Posted April 14, 2012 What you mean a sexual pre nuptual agreement????!!!! Sorry I wasn't more clear. After my exW cleaned me out, I now require a contract prior to/commensurate with engaging in a legal partnership like marriage. There would be no mention from my side about sex being relevant to the contract. It would be strictly financial.
thatone Posted April 14, 2012 Posted April 14, 2012 It just made me laugh cause i remember there was a story of a man who asked his fiancee to sign a sex agreement before they got wed as his previous two wives had both gone off sex and left him hanging!!! If he means for assets and money etc i think its smart thing but abit sad Not as sad as someone who thinks their best quality is their genitalia.
Necris Posted April 14, 2012 Posted April 14, 2012 If i were you, I would be weary of liars. I am naturally a bit paranoid so I would be suspicious if a woman who is known not to be chaste herself all of a sudden early in the relationship demanded chastity from me. Now sex before marriage in itself sounds like a good idea to me but the specific situation seems a little wierd.
phineas Posted April 14, 2012 Posted April 14, 2012 Since i'll never re-marry we would have no choice but to go our separate ways.
gaius Posted April 14, 2012 Posted April 14, 2012 Her libido is too low for me if she can stand waiting until we get married. 2
M2155 Posted April 14, 2012 Posted April 14, 2012 A friend of mine has kids and always tells guys upfront she isn't having sex until there is a serious commitment. Half of guys are turned off immediately and the other half see it as a challenge which can also be annoying. The fantasy is that holding off intensifies the chase. The reason for my friend is though just to weed out the guys who are just about sex because some of us can get very caught up once we get intimate. I'm all for waiting, but not neccessarily marriage. But if you care and are really interested in the person, you respect their boundaries or you move on.
Author Jody005 Posted April 14, 2012 Author Posted April 14, 2012 Her libido is too low for me if she can stand waiting until we get married. Not necessarily its about self control and who knows if she is playin with herself sometimes to stop her from bein frustrated. Men go to prison for years and have no choice if they're not a bit gay to abstain till they get out. Doesn't mean you have a low libido
Author Jody005 Posted April 14, 2012 Author Posted April 14, 2012 IMO, when a woman says no sex until marriage, it turns sex into a reason for getting married. And sex should never be a reason to marry somebody. Can you imagine somebody asking your husband why you got married, and he answered, "So I can have sex with her." Well my opinion is that i don't think a man would marry JUST to have sex with a woman isn't that abit extreme? Surely he could get it somewhere else. How about if you had slept with me before we broke up and got back together and I told you about my change of heart on marriage?
irin Posted April 14, 2012 Posted April 14, 2012 im like you but im actually a virgin! i usually dont say if you want to have sex with me you'll have to marry me. i explain early on that i wont do anything sexual, if they end up expressing love, and wanting commitment. then i will let them know, my rules for a relationship is nothing sexual, i dont have a problem with kissing and cuddling but, no oral, or getting naked, till marriage. to some of the post, i have an extremely high libido, i get arouse quite often, its called self control, and matter of principle. and i have no problem with prenups. and im in no rush to get married. i just have no in interest in sharing my body with any man but the man i marry!
Author Jody005 Posted April 14, 2012 Author Posted April 14, 2012 Vegas here we cum! Love your answer if you really mean it! But how can you know u want to marry someone so early in a relationship thats what i'm saying is that when a girl says this it automatically means that the guy has now decided to not have sex before marriage too so is it about control and how much control or power you have a as a woman about how the relationship progresses. Me personally I'm no virgin and ex boyfriends would find it crazy to hear my new stance on things cause they would remember how dirty I was (am!) but for me its more about the marriage that I want to wait i'm seeing it as less of a tradition and more of a means to an end and so I want to follow the rules properly cause I think they maybe some spiritual benefits that I been missing out on and if sex can be better than it already is by doing things in a different way Im all for it for the rest of my life. My problem is how to address this when dating......how do you ever get past that initial early stage of the relationship after revealing that...if a guy hasn't had the chance to care for you yet ...therefore being open to waiting?
Author Jody005 Posted April 14, 2012 Author Posted April 14, 2012 im like you but im actually a virgin! i usually dont say if you want to have sex with me you'll have to marry me. i explain early on that i wont do anything sexual, if they end up expressing love, and wanting commitment. then i will let them know, my rules for a relationship is nothing sexual, i dont have a problem with kissing and cuddling but, no oral, or getting naked, till marriage. to some of the post, i have an extremely high libido, i get arouse quite often, its called self control, and matter of principle. and i have no problem with prenups. and im in no rush to get married. i just have no in interest in sharing my body with any man but the man i marry! Im so looking forward to trying things another way but I don't want to have potential fantastic future husbands reject me after hearing my SHOCKING REVELATION! I feel like telling them after they've had a chance to maybe fall for you is leading them on or just not being honest, telling them at the start when they have no emotional investment.....well who can blame them for saying....NEXT! I think I would if a man would say that to me but quite frankly its not going to happen thank God!
Author Jody005 Posted April 14, 2012 Author Posted April 14, 2012 Since i'll never re-marry we would have no choice but to go our separate ways. Imagine if you met your idea of a perfect girl at a wedding or party, she's everything you've dreamed of you start seeing each other and she confides to you this what she wants...are you saying you would definitely end it? Walk away completely?
Feelsgoodman Posted April 14, 2012 Posted April 14, 2012 Seriously, how would you feel if you started to like a girl you were seeing and during an intimate conversation she told you that although she wasn't a virgin she now doesnt want to have sex until after her wedding day and gave you her reasons for that choice. If you really liked her would you start to think about marrying her or would you walk away from her....How would you handle it? I would handle it by dumping her immediately. There are few things in the world that are worse than a "re-virgin".
phineas Posted April 14, 2012 Posted April 14, 2012 Imagine if you met your idea of a perfect girl at a wedding or party, she's everything you've dreamed of you start seeing each other and she confides to you this what she wants...are you saying you would definitely end it? Walk away completely? Yep! In fact i'd RUN. I'm 40yrs old. If she's anywhere near me in age..... Any woman like the one you describe...well, whatever is wrong with her, it aint no small thing.
Author Jody005 Posted April 14, 2012 Author Posted April 14, 2012 Very good answer and thats exactly how I feel on the subject I'm just scared to be rejected because of it. You can say a guy isn't worth it if he rejects you but I don't think thats fair or true because why would he have loyalty to you if he really doesn't share those views or hasn't fallen in love with you?! Its catch 22 and not easy i need a solution before I put this in to practise!
Author Jody005 Posted April 14, 2012 Author Posted April 14, 2012 Why would you run instead of walk away? This means that it would freak you out in some way why? Would you be scared she was desperate for marriage or....bad in bed or what.....??????
veggirl Posted April 14, 2012 Posted April 14, 2012 How would you know someone is "everything you want" and "perfect for you" on a first meeting?
Author Jody005 Posted April 14, 2012 Author Posted April 14, 2012 I would handle it by dumping her immediately. There are few things in the world that are worse than a "re-virgin". Ooooh thats harsh dumped immediately, but I can see why its because it just wouldn't make sense to you right? So what do I do not tell them and just let on im just waiting a few months let then=m start to have feelings for me and then tell them? It seems very sneaky and would be a massive blow (or not!) to the guy
Woggle Posted April 14, 2012 Posted April 14, 2012 I would never be with a woman that uses sex as a bargaining tool. 1
irin Posted April 14, 2012 Posted April 14, 2012 Im so looking forward to trying things another way but I don't want to have potential fantastic future husbands reject me after hearing my SHOCKING REVELATION! I feel like telling them after they've had a chance to maybe fall for you is leading them on or just not being honest, telling them at the start when they have no emotional investment.....well who can blame them for saying....NEXT! I think I would if a man would say that to me but quite frankly its not going to happen thank God! ill quote myself "i explain early on that i wont do anything sexual", i say from beginning. but also if they want relationship that will not change anything. i wont lead anyone on, thats kinda like emotional blackmail:sick:
Author Jody005 Posted April 14, 2012 Author Posted April 14, 2012 im like you but im actually a virgin! i usually dont say if you want to have sex with me you'll have to marry me. i explain early on that i wont do anything sexual, if they end up expressing love, and wanting commitment. then i will let them know, my rules for a relationship is nothing sexual, i dont have a problem with kissing and cuddling but, no oral, or getting naked, till marriage. to some of the post, i have an extremely high libido, i get arouse quite often, its called self control, and matter of principle. and i have no problem with prenups. and im in no rush to get married. i just have no in interest in sharing my body with any man but the man i marry! I know!!! I'm sorry but arent you sooo looking forward to experiencing sex AFTER you've said your vows and experiencing how it will feel to finally be with someone you ARE IN LOVE WITH after not touching each other after all that time??!! I'm just starting to see how powerful its supposed to be
irin Posted April 15, 2012 Posted April 15, 2012 I know!!! I'm sorry but arent you sooo looking forward to experiencing sex AFTER you've said your vows and experiencing how it will feel to finally be with someone you ARE IN LOVE WITH after not touching each other after all that time??!! I'm just starting to see how powerful its supposed to be i know it will be amazing!:bunny: i know alot people think virgins are prude, but im in no way like that. so i very much crave it. i would probably, cause him some physical harm:p
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