maytwelve Posted April 14, 2012 Posted April 14, 2012 Hello Everybody, just wanna share something with y'all and hope that i can get some ideas about it. my boyfriend has rented a house for about 8 years and he's very close with the house owner (like brothers). the house owner has been working overseas for a long time already and married with a women there so he(house owner) will just coming back once a year. while me and my bf has been together for about 1 year only but we both love each other and we are almost getting together in the near future. we have been going thru lots of issues before but we both successfully deal with it and get it over. but this time is really shocking me a lot. there'll be two ladies moving in to the house and one of them is a daughter of the house owner who is living in our country which might older than me. she's gonna move in with her girl cousin. and it was a surprising decision that they are gonna move in next week while they were informing us just yesterday. so i was worry while my bf hasnt got any idea what to say cause he's just a tenor and the ladies got full rights to stay in the house more than my bf does. the thing is, in our tradition, men and women with no legal relationship are not allowed to stay under the same roof. and if they are found by legal authority, they will be sued and asked to get married. so i did text the daughter of the house owner without my bf permission of why do they wanna move in. so they replied me that they're staying temporarily. then i never ask anything more cause im afraid i might get overboard and it will affect my bf reputation renting the house. not to say that i dont trust my bf but i had been cheated many times by my ex before so to trust in someone isnt that easy for me this time but i am trying to. and we both are in love with each other. now what worries me is that, i really dont know how to deal with this once the girl move in. and how am i gonna cope with my emotions that im now feeling so insecure and really upset. to ask my bf to move out is just really a not good idea cause the house is just the best place for him but for me to move in is also one thing that really a no answer for our tradition furthermore, my parents will freak out. now once i thought about it, i couldnt stop thinking of how the ladies will look like in half naked with towel before and after shower. i really could not imagine what my bf will do. for him, i could say that he's not flirty one and he always mention of being 'stick to one' in loving relationship but, sometimes i felt that there are still something that he hide from me and never wanted me to find out. so, i appreciate of any comments that might help me do something about this, how to deal with this two ladies once they move in (since i never met and knew them except the name), how am i gonna help my bf to deal with this matter(since the house owner itself let his daughter and niece to move in), and for me, how am i gonna be patient and handle my emotions until the girls move out (since they said of temporary staying but 12months staying is also temporary) ?
darkmoon Posted April 14, 2012 Posted April 14, 2012 (edited) i think you are nervous about these two girls, it is a shame but you have no control that they're on the way all you can do is be the girl he fell in love with and let them bicker over the bills or bathroom usage hopefully, insisting on your rights aggresion could make you look just like the sort of woman a man gets to dislike but yes it's a hard road to go down atmo Edited April 14, 2012 by darkmoon
Author maytwelve Posted April 15, 2012 Author Posted April 15, 2012 to me, its disrespectful for those two women to move in since they knew very well that my bf is living alone there and is in a serious relationship. i kept on thinking and finding the good truth of why the women werent thought about how i would feel to let my bf live with women he barely knows. how if the other way round, if i stay under same roof as his bf does? what would she feel and what would she thinks? thats what i dont understand until now why they never thought about it. to me, this kind of situation is really a disaster. the more i kept myself saying a 'yes, it should be okay', the bigger 'NO' word appear to my head. honestly i really am a jealous type of person and that might be one of the problem now that i still cannot accept the fact that my bf is living in a house with other women first than with the women who he love and love him.
Can I Change Posted April 15, 2012 Posted April 15, 2012 (edited) There is nothing you can do about that. You probably can't trust these women either. You can trust your boyfriend right? Some jealousy is natural. Perhaps you should say that this can be a temporary situation (3 mos min) if it really bothers you? Do you know your boyfriend to be a cheater? I really don't know enough about this to comment on possibilities that may or may not be actual. If you want to hear more I can go on. Edited April 15, 2012 by Can I Change
Author maytwelve Posted April 16, 2012 Author Posted April 16, 2012 i dont know whether my boyfriend is a cheater or not, but what really bother me the most is that, its really unfair for me. ok, let me explain this way. why and how do i fell in love with him? it was because of his kindness and... i could describe him as a very lovely person. he never raise his voice, he really cares about me and, i felt like there were no other man like him when it comes to kindness type of person. even my brothers or any of other guys i met before never treated me like how my bf does. his character made me fall in love so deeply. but, sometime i saw him does it to other women. ok, it doesnt matter at all if they're all his friends, colleagues or whoever he knows well but this time it seems different... he will be seeing these women everyday. what if those women happen to feel the same as i did. even if my bf has no intention to flirt around with them. im not trying to be like one of those girls who have always comes up with negative minded, but im trying to be logical. seriously i cannot focus on my office work all day thinking of what might going to happen once they move in. evey sec, and everywhere i go, i kept on thinking about it. one more thing that i felt unfair is that why does it have to be other women first to live under one roof with my bf while i am his lover. sometime i tried very hard to let it happen and be it if its meant to be, then few sec after that, the worries still come up and again, i really cannot focus on what i was doing. i really hope sometime i could be having a steel heart and mind so that no matter how it is hit, its still stay where it was and how it looks like.
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