cicamaca Posted April 14, 2012 Posted April 14, 2012 My fiance and I have been together for a year and a half. We're in our early twenties. I'm a bigger girl and he's not necessarily attracted to my weight, but is attracted to everything else about me.. features/face/sexual appetite.. Mind you, I was overweight when we met so it's not like I've gained. I've also had a few surgeries during our relationship that caused me to not be able to work on my weight as much, but it's in progress, so far I'm several dozen pounds down... Our sexual histories are very different. He's never had constant sex/a real girlfriend & I have a seriously high sex drive. Before our relationship he was having sex once or twice a year, and I myself needed it once or twice a day. He used to attack me sexually in the beginning but lately it isn't so. He says he just doesn't have a high sex drive & his sexual history proves that but he doesn't maul me the way he used to. The thing is, when I'm not here he jerks off every now & then. He's finishing up his undergrad and is doing a whole ton of studying. He says when he can't concentrate he looks at porn sometimes without jerking off just to clear his mind so that he can work. His excuse for jerking off is that it only takes a few minutes/is forced/just so he can get back to work. We have had several nasty arguments about this. I feel so awful about myself after being rejected. I'll admit it's at the worst times.. right before bed when he's tired and right before he heads off to work.. but I genuinely see no other time. He doesn't have ED, and he says it has nothing to do with me but it's causing us problems. I don't need sex all the time. All I want is to please my man, or at least him want me to please him. He's not cheating, and all other aspects of our relationship are better than ever.. Other than sex, our relationship is perfect.. He's so affectionate/playful. We constantly cuddle, kiss and he's constantly touching me when we're out together. I'm getting really insecure and feel like a psycho. He doesn't jerk off while I'm here, but he's still looking at porn. It's gotten to the point where he deletes his history to avoid upsetting me. I don't know how to approach the situation anymore or what to make of it. Am I being selfish? Do any other dudes feel too stressed out to have sex with their woman, but pop one off really quick just to clear their head?
darkmoon Posted April 14, 2012 Posted April 14, 2012 boys will be boys, porn doesn't mean much, his exams are looming so he's desperate to get thru them, i think you need to take a step back because of his exams
Yookie Posted April 14, 2012 Posted April 14, 2012 I would not be worried about the porn but I would be very worried about the sexual appetite incompatibility. Are you ok with and prepared to continue to be sexually frustrated throughout your entire marriage? 1
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