energize Posted April 14, 2012 Posted April 14, 2012 Hi all, I'll try to make this short. Last week I got a girls number from the bar who just happens to work in the same building as me. Her friend said she thought I was cute and called me over. I got a number, called her back in a couple days and then went out on a date. The date went well, went for coffee, walked, had a beer, great conversation, etc. Dropped her off at her place and kissed goodnight, we kinda stared at each other after the kiss. Anyway tried calling two days later no answer, so I texted her had a good time and that we should do it again. Texted her the next day and said I was busy for a couple days and should do something in a few, no response. Playing hard to get? doesn't like me? I can't figure it out??
Author energize Posted April 14, 2012 Author Posted April 14, 2012 Three strikes...and you're out. She responded to my first few texts just not the one about hanging out.
casanovadude81 Posted April 14, 2012 Posted April 14, 2012 Your main seduction problem is that nothing you described even comes close to what I'd call seductive. I understand you might just have a passive way of speaking but txting you should do something again isn't the same as clearly asking some one to do something. Then you txted the exact same thing with the added detail that you're busy but when you're not something should happen. My advice is in the future if a date went well set up another at the end of that date. Also after a first kiss its sweet to call the girl the next day to let her know you like her not wait a few days. Finaly your txt wasn't even a question as in "will you have dinner with me Friday at Casa Linguini?" You just made a statement about something you guys should do hopping she with say "yes we should" motivating you to actually ask her out. Although what you did was give her a very easy to ignore txt she really might have just forgotten about it. Like I said nothing seductive about anything you've done. Its impossible for me or you to know exactly whats going on based on the information you've given. She may or may not still like you. She may have met some one else. Something bad might have happended in her life. All your txts may have not showed up. Who knows. You should call her tomorrow around noon seeing if she wants to get dinner. If she doesn't anwer call back in an hour or so and leave a short but sweet message about wanting to see her again tonight and be specific. I disagree with the three strikes rule. This isn't a game of baseball. You can give up when you feel its pointless. It's clear you don't or you wouldn't be here asking for advice. Oh and I just saw she responded to txts just not the one about hanging out. Well what were your other txts just talking about work? Maybe you bored her.
Author energize Posted April 14, 2012 Author Posted April 14, 2012 Your main seduction problem is that nothing you described even comes close to what I'd call seductive. I understand you might just have a passive way of speaking but txting you should do something again isn't the same as clearly asking some one to do something. Then you txted the exact same thing with the added detail that you're busy but when you're not something should happen. My advice is in the future if a date went well set up another at the end of that date. Also after a first kiss its sweet to call the girl the next day to let her know you like her not wait a few days. Finaly your txt wasn't even a question as in "will you have dinner with me Friday at Casa Linguini?" You just made a statement about something you guys should do hopping she with say "yes we should" motivating you to actually ask her out. Although what you did was give her a very easy to ignore txt she really might have just forgotten about it. Like I said nothing seductive about anything you've done. Its impossible for me or you to know exactly whats going on based on the information you've given. She may or may not still like you. She may have met some one else. Something bad might have happended in her life. All your txts may have not showed up. Who knows. You should call her tomorrow around noon seeing if she wants to get dinner. If she doesn't anwer call back in an hour or so and leave a short but sweet message about wanting to see her again tonight and be specific. I disagree with the three strikes rule. This isn't a game of baseball. You can give up when you feel its pointless. It's clear you don't or you wouldn't be here asking for advice. Thank you, fantastic advice. Just for the record, I'm new to this again just got out of a 5 year relationship. I agree it did sound passive. I'll never make that mistake again
casanovadude81 Posted April 14, 2012 Posted April 14, 2012 She hit on you at the bar. She broke the ice by calling you over. She probably does want to be chased a little just to know you care. A lot of guys do go out with girls they don't even really like and do so in a half assed manner in order to get in and get out. You've been on a date and kissed. She hit on you at the bar. Time to let her know she's pretty and you really need to see her again. Be cool about it and don't worry about it if this doesn't work out. A 5 year relationship is like a time machine isn't it? You'd be suprised though you'll be at an advantage to guys who didn't just have a 5 year relationship if you choose to draw on that experience.
Author energize Posted April 14, 2012 Author Posted April 14, 2012 (edited) She hit on you at the bar. She broke the ice by calling you over. She probably does want to be chased a little just to know you care. A lot of guys do go out with girls they don't even really like and do so in a half assed manner in order to get in and get out. You've been on a date and kissed. She hit on you at the bar. Time to let her know she's pretty and you really need to see her again. Be cool about it and don't worry about it if this doesn't work out. A 5 year relationship is like a time machine isn't it? You'd be suprised though you'll be at an advantage to guys who didn't just have a 5 year relationship if you choose to draw on that experience. Yeah you make really good point, I appreciate that you took the effort to write this! The other texts were "I had a really good time the other day, we should do it again" , then talked about the weekend, drinking, and flirted a little. The date actually went really well I thought and I think it does have to do with the 5 year rel. as I am very confident around women. The time machine comment is so true, it feels as if it were yesterday I started the last relationship. Edited April 14, 2012 by energize
dasein Posted April 14, 2012 Posted April 14, 2012 I can't agree at all with ever setting the next date while you are on one. It would not have changed things at all in this instance. Please consider not texting women you are just getting to know. Call them. Leave a message. Call again. Leave a message. If they don't call back, move on to the next option.
casanovadude81 Posted April 14, 2012 Posted April 14, 2012 I can't agree at all with ever setting the next date while you are on one. It would not have changed things at all in this instance. Please consider not texting women you are just getting to know. Call them. Leave a message. Call again. Leave a message. If they don't call back, move on to the next option. He should be looking to create multiple options and not get to focused on one girl till things become more clear.
dasein Posted April 14, 2012 Posted April 14, 2012 I agree with that also. He can be calling and dating several women at the same time, and should be.
SJC2008 Posted April 14, 2012 Posted April 14, 2012 @casanovadude: Ok humor me her due to my lack of exp. You said that after a first kiss it's good to call her the next day to let her know you like her. Now do you mean literally tell her you like her or just tell her you enjoyed yourself? I thought showing your interest too soon can turn a woman off because they like to worry or wonder. Also I disagree with you about not agreeing with the 3 strikes. After 3 attempts your interest is clearly known IMO. I mean I think after that it shows you have no pride and the woman may think that also. Let's say she comes through after 3 strikes, she would know she has major hand with things IMO.
Author energize Posted April 14, 2012 Author Posted April 14, 2012 K just tried what casanova said, called twice, left a message on the second one. If she doesn't call back I'm not trying anymore. Plenty of women out there
CarrieT Posted April 14, 2012 Posted April 14, 2012 I can't agree at all with ever setting the next date while you are on one. I'll disagree with that... On my first date with my current BF (Friday night at a museum with dinner), he asked about going on a bay cruise on Sunday to see the Blue Angels. It was a quite a leap of faith that the first date was going to go well that he had already bought tickets but it clinched the deal and I thought it charming to be so positive.
SJC2008 Posted April 14, 2012 Posted April 14, 2012 I'll disagree with that... On my first date with my current BF (Friday night at a museum with dinner), he asked about going on a bay cruise on Sunday to see the Blue Angels. It was a quite a leap of faith that the first date was going to go well that he had already bought tickets but it clinched the deal and I thought it charming to be so positive. I woulda went too for the Blue Angels that's a no brainer.
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