AltoidsCan Posted April 14, 2012 Posted April 14, 2012 (edited) Hey guys, It's been a while since my ex and I broke up (mid January) and it ended fairly badly. Over the course of 7 months while we were dating, she slept with her ex, caught her saying I love you to her ex via text, and went on a 7 day Mexico trip with him during Christmas. The oddest thing is that in the past, I've let her do all this yet I took her back. I thought she would change as she said cheating on me was the worst thing she could've done to me (after she slept with him) yet she still continued to communicate with him until our relationship shattered. On top of this bumpy ride, she would also belittle me like crazy and would not provide any opportunities for me to explain myself. Her words were always true but mine were always false. On the last day of our relationship, she belittled the I have no respect for myself for being so attached to her and accept her despite of all of her mistakes. (mid jan) I got so mad that I have threatened her to report her past history to coworkers (she slept with her boss to get a full time job) and show her how much respect she has it for herself. I obviously did not do this but she called the cops on me which they came to give me a warning to not communicate with her ever again. There were few words back and forth after a month or so (mostly done by me to move on) but I haven't really talked to her or seen her in person. It's April now and I thought everything would subside since its been a long time since this happened but for some strange reason, I still miss her.. For someone who didn't treat me right and call the cops on me, she managed to stay on my brain for a long time without too much of negatives feelings attached to it. Can someone help me why this is happening? I admittedly contacted her recently to put everything behind the past and start over as friends but all I got in return was "I don't want to have any connection with you." She did contact me via email a few times to apologize which I responded saying we don't have to keep on hurting each other. I'm not sure why she apologized when she did not want to have any connection with me. I really treated her with respect and did everything I possibly could to make her happy. For someone who did all that, I think this is a ridiculous feedback. Edited April 14, 2012 by AltoidsCan
CaliBabe Posted April 14, 2012 Posted April 14, 2012 I'm really sorry to hear about the way she treated you. Everyone deserves respect. At this point you have to do some soul searching and try to figure out why you are willing to stay with someone who belittles and disrespects you. It sounds like insecurity and low self esteem, those are things YOU have to fix. It also sounds like she never really got over her ex, you might have been the rebound... The person to help her not think about her ex when he wasn't acting right. I am sorry if this sounds harsh, but I hope you seek the help you need and find happiness. There will be someone who will appreciate you and treat you the way you deserve. 3
Author AltoidsCan Posted April 14, 2012 Author Posted April 14, 2012 The funny thing is.. She always said I'm the perfect guy for her and someone she wants to marry. Thus, I have tried my best to give her what she wants.. I gave her a promise ring in December to show her my dedication but she always said she was scared that this is happening. I'm thinking that she couldn't move outside the box. I m sure it tough to move on after five years of relationship.
Author AltoidsCan Posted April 14, 2012 Author Posted April 14, 2012 I'm really sorry to hear about the way she treated you. Everyone deserves respect. At this point you have to do some soul searching and try to figure out why you are willing to stay with someone who belittles and disrespects you. It sounds like insecurity and low self esteem, those are things YOU have to fix. It also sounds like she never really got over her ex, you might have been the rebound... The person to help her not think about her ex when he wasn't acting right. I am sorry if this sounds harsh, but I hope you seek the help you need and find happiness. There will be someone who will appreciate you and treat you the way you deserve. Thanks for your insight. Do you think she will ever contact me again? It sounds very irrational to go from couple to nothing in such a short period of time..
Author AltoidsCan Posted April 14, 2012 Author Posted April 14, 2012 (edited) Oh yes, another thing that might add to this weird issue is that I've lost virginity to this girl. Everytime I get sexually aroused, I miss her more. After we broke up, she said she really loved me which is also strange too. Edited April 14, 2012 by AltoidsCan
CaliBabe Posted April 14, 2012 Posted April 14, 2012 It is possible to have someone just drop contact like that. My ex and I were together for 7 years and just like that, we no longer speak. Things change, you have to be prepared for that. I understand that the physical aspect, as she was your first. But, she will not be your last. Go out, experience new things, new people, heck, a new partner. It might be refreshing for you. (After you have healed of course). I would not recommend random sex to forget the ex, it never works. Right now focus on yourself and do things unrelated to her to make YOU happy. The key word there is you.
Author AltoidsCan Posted April 14, 2012 Author Posted April 14, 2012 (edited) It is possible to have someone just drop contact like that. My ex and I were together for 7 years and just like that, we no longer speak. Things change, you have to be prepared for that. I understand that the physical aspect, as she was your first. But, she will not be your last. Go out, experience new things, new people, heck, a new partner. It might be refreshing for you. (After you have healed of course). I would not recommend random sex to forget the ex, it never works. Right now focus on yourself and do things unrelated to her to make YOU happy. The key word there is you. I see. I thought things would change if I get a new partner so I regretfully had a FWB that lasted only once. It just didn't feel right.. :/ I guess this is all part of life. Full of spontaneous events. In your opinion, do you think she will ever contact me again or will she hold grudge on me forever? Edited April 14, 2012 by AltoidsCan
loveydove Posted April 14, 2012 Posted April 14, 2012 push and pull is the sign of a confused ex...is there anything she could have been mad at you for? Maybe she thought you were seeing someone already?
Author AltoidsCan Posted April 14, 2012 Author Posted April 14, 2012 (edited) push and pull is the sign of a confused ex...is there anything she could have been mad at you for? Maybe she thought you were seeing someone already? She knew I was devoted to her because that's who I am. Some of the mistakes I can admit right now are some of my immature actions like trying to make her feel jealous and changing my number. I think it's also important to note that she has cheated on all of her relationships so far. This make me think whether she can cope with one guy. Edited April 14, 2012 by AltoidsCan
rickys Posted April 14, 2012 Posted April 14, 2012 (edited) sorry........you really have very tough conditions. You must move on..She is not for you.. See some other, who cares for you and respect you...... Edited April 15, 2012 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
Author AltoidsCan Posted April 14, 2012 Author Posted April 14, 2012 (edited) sorry........you really have very tough conditions. You must move on..She is not for you.. See some other, who cares for you and respect you...... I guess so! She said she doesn't want to have any connection with me. Logically it sounds logical for me to just drop everything and get away from her but my mind speaks the opposite. Maybe deep inside, I am thinking that I won't be dating someone that looks as attractive as her.. maybe.. What would be the best closure I can give to her? I want to write her a last email. Hopefully she reads it and realizes what kind of person she missed. Edited April 15, 2012 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
Mohanson Posted April 14, 2012 Posted April 14, 2012 Listen she won't be back the way you are right now. She has you in the palm of her hand and to be honest she doesn't respect you. Take the remainder of your dignity, your pride and don't write her, don't contact her ever again. Want to make someone want you? Show them how great your life is, and be indifferent to them. But even so I'd advise against seeing her again, just count this a life experience and move forward to better things. Don't settle for someone who'd be alright with treating you like that. 1
Author AltoidsCan Posted April 14, 2012 Author Posted April 14, 2012 So you wouldn't even bother telling her how I'm not going to wait for anything and move on?
HollyBolly Posted April 14, 2012 Posted April 14, 2012 So you wouldn't even bother telling her how I'm not going to wait for anything and move on? I think everyone has made that very clear. You are just hoping someone will come on here and tell you to do what you're probably going to do anyway. You need justification. So, okay, I'll do it! Go for it, Sonny Jim! Write her that email.
Author AltoidsCan Posted April 15, 2012 Author Posted April 15, 2012 Fair enough. Thanks for the bold post. I guess I really have to move on.
HollyBolly Posted April 15, 2012 Posted April 15, 2012 Fair enough. Thanks for the bold post. I guess I really have to move on. Yes, hon. You do. I am going through a breakup myself. 5 year relationship bye bye. I have had good and bad days/nights. I want to txt her NOW. What will that do? Nothing but hurt me. So, I won't. That's all. Hope you feel better soon. I really do.
Author AltoidsCan Posted April 15, 2012 Author Posted April 15, 2012 Oh man.. that sounds tough. Mine lasted only 7 months. I can't imagine losing someone I've dated for 5 years. I hope we both come out strong out of this and meet someone better than our exs.
HollyBolly Posted April 15, 2012 Posted April 15, 2012 Oh man.. that sounds tough. Mine lasted only 7 months. I can't imagine losing someone I've dated for 5 years. I hope we both come out strong out of this and meet someone better than our exs. We will, babe. Don't worry. It's just transition. I was your age once. It'll be fine.
mridul_chajilee Posted April 15, 2012 Posted April 15, 2012 50% of your case is match with me. But i don't know whether she slept with some one else and still i don't know whether she has a boyfriend.But i'm also suffering from the same disease that i miss her and i still need her.Also its been 3years of our breakup and 2 and half year of NC.No words from her till today.
Author AltoidsCan Posted April 15, 2012 Author Posted April 15, 2012 Wow.. 2.5 years and you still miss her eh? I'm scared now
mridul_chajilee Posted April 15, 2012 Posted April 15, 2012 Untill and unless some other girl who will be able to REPLACE her[your ex] 100%,u will never get the peace of mind and will miss her.
HollyBolly Posted April 15, 2012 Posted April 15, 2012 Untill and unless some other girl who will be able to REPLACE her[your ex] 100%,u will never get the peace of mind and will miss her. That's bulls**t! Why do you need someone else to make you whole? Work on yourself. Don't listen to this rubbish!
mridul_chajilee Posted April 15, 2012 Posted April 15, 2012 Thats not BULL S**T bro and its the true fact.When u wil get a girl who is 100% equal to ur ex gf,then you wil cure.Did you listen the song 'I Still' by Backstreet boys?
Author AltoidsCan Posted April 15, 2012 Author Posted April 15, 2012 :S. We will see how it goes. Im going NC with her anyway.
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