Author underthemilkyway6 Posted April 14, 2012 Author Posted April 14, 2012 A man who is substantially invested in the relationship and sincerely interested in his partner won't replace her easily or quickly. We see stories like this all the time on LS, even married men who have been cheated on. They keep trying to work it out and find a solution to keep the relationship/marriage. OP, you might be looking for the phrase 'emotionally unstable' to describe some of the men you've encountered. Healthy relationships are often problematical for such people. Having experienced a bit of it myself during my M, I can say it's not a pleasant place to be. MC (therapy) really helped with that part. Where are these men hiding??? I only seem to attract the emotionally unstable ones (perpetually ) On a serious note thanks carhill for sharing your experience feels good to get support and yes, LS seems a nice place to be and very supportive!
firehawk_1 Posted April 15, 2012 Posted April 15, 2012 I think one big factor here, that people dont get is, more men are being sensitive (rightly so) after all the game playing, cheating etc.... that women have been doing ever so in recent years. before, there wasnt this behavior at all. women always kept saying there is no emotional men.... now there is plenty of them and women dont want it. damned if you do, damned if you dont i know im an emotional person, well rounded but no one wants me even though they moan and complain they cant find someone who <insert whatever here> but there clearly is but they dont want it or even give a chance remember though: the unstability comes from the experience that they unfortunately suffer from one girl to the next. it DOES take a toll on a human, regardless of what they think. it DOES.
firehawk_1 Posted April 15, 2012 Posted April 15, 2012 underthemilkyway - I hope you are feeling a little better
PlumPrincess Posted April 15, 2012 Posted April 15, 2012 The guy is a complete mess, that explains his behavior, and you're much much better off without him. Is there really more to say about this situation?
firehawk_1 Posted April 15, 2012 Posted April 15, 2012 The guy is a complete mess, that explains his behavior, and you're much much better off without him. Is there really more to say about this situation? plenty. because its so easy for a woman to blame the man without realising her mistakes..... you misread the main point im afraid.
dasein Posted April 15, 2012 Posted April 15, 2012 OP is 0% about "getting replaced quickly" and 100% about getting too invested with a total stranger. You have received excellent advice here about not entering into long term penpal relationships if you are seeking a real, full relationship, and expecting real prospects to want to meet you relatively quickly. Best wishes in implementing it.
PlumPrincess Posted April 15, 2012 Posted April 15, 2012 plenty. because its so easy for a woman to blame the man without realising her mistakes..... you misread the main point im afraid. He's unstable and overly emotional. What's there to excuse? If that was you in a similar situation with a woman, I would tell you the same. Happy now?
Author underthemilkyway6 Posted April 15, 2012 Author Posted April 15, 2012 OP is 0% about "getting replaced quickly" and 100% about getting too invested with a total stranger. You have received excellent advice here about not entering into long term penpal relationships if you are seeking a real, full relationship, and expecting real prospects to want to meet you relatively quickly. Best wishes in implementing it. I wasn't invested. I wasn't in love. He seemed invested 100% by asking me to move in with him right away (which made me cringe). I took the trip there to meet friends and opportunity to meet him as well. We were still only dating when he stormed off the room (we shared the room for budget reason while traveling) saying he did not feel desired. He probably expected me to sleep with him right away just b/c we shared a room I guess in hindsight...the only thing I invested was some time with him and I got kicked in the butt!
Author underthemilkyway6 Posted April 15, 2012 Author Posted April 15, 2012 I think one big factor here, that people dont get is, more men are being sensitive (rightly so) after all the game playing, cheating etc.... that women have been doing ever so in recent years. before, there wasnt this behavior at all. women always kept saying there is no emotional men.... now there is plenty of them and women dont want it. damned if you do, damned if you dont i know im an emotional person, well rounded but no one wants me even though they moan and complain they cant find someone who <insert whatever here> but there clearly is but they dont want it or even give a chance remember though: the unstability comes from the experience that they unfortunately suffer from one girl to the next. it DOES take a toll on a human, regardless of what they think. it DOES. Hey firehawk, feeling better today thank you And I really hope you do too? I'm quoting you above b/c it's exactly what I wrote in different words on one previous post yesterday, don't know if addressed to you or to carhill (but sharing with your experiences). So am feeling better b/c this guy I posted about is indeed an emotional wreck...b/c unless he lied all along he was married to same woman 18 yrs then in a 5 yrs relationship, so doesn't seem like anyone rejected him or played games. He's not even 40 yet!! I think he's just one big narcissist (and sometimes they can get pretty delusional). That said I 100% agree with you on all you wrote about men being hurt (and this applies to my experience with the guy I have known for 4 years)...women too for same reasons. Trust me you have someone here who understands you!!!!
firehawk_1 Posted April 15, 2012 Posted April 15, 2012 (edited) underthemilkyway - believe me, I am touched you understand what I mean and feel the same way. and truly because of you, I do feel better. I cant begin to tell you.... ... I agree though, the fact that any guy who has another another woman "on the side" or whatever is a total dealbreaker. And the same with lying about the past. The same with trying to jump into bed..... furthermore, its the same with women (or certain types of women more specifically) that love "the thrill" - it is SOOOO stupid. I dont get where they get off thinking its ok on ANY level. makes me sad. Edited April 15, 2012 by firehawk_1
Author underthemilkyway6 Posted April 15, 2012 Author Posted April 15, 2012 underthemilkyway - believe me, I am touched you understand what I mean and feel the same way. and truly because of you, I do feel better. I cant begin to tell you.... ... I agree though, the fact that any guy who has another another woman "on the side" or whatever is a total dealbreaker. And the same with lying about the past. The same with trying to jump into bed..... furthermore, its the same with women (or certain types of women more specifically) that love "the thrill" - it is SOOOO stupid. I dont get where they get off thinking its ok on ANY level. makes me sad. Really happy to read that Firehawk!! At least something good came out of posting about that j**k. His self-centeredness contributed to two (or more) people knowing they understand each other. Gosh the things I have had to witness with colleagues and friends that don't only make me sad, they make me furious....b/c trust is the biggest gift one can give...e.g.married men sleeping around with no guilt whatsoever just b/c their spouse was far away and would never know. And married women who profess undying love for their husband (and put profile pictures of their couple to reassure their partner) while...sleeping around with no sense of guilt whatsoever....just b/c they are far away and no one will ever know. 100% sure they're entitled to it 'cos life's short and bla bla bla...Yikes...how would you name this category?
firehawk_1 Posted April 15, 2012 Posted April 15, 2012 I know. i also dont get this from women: "live for the day" - means, get drunk and sleep around or play games. "if you cant handle me at my worst then you sure as hell cant handle me at my best" - such common copy quotes. do they even know what it means? HELL NO! Even more fakes and dramas.... it is SOOOO off putting. id love to date you and keep you
Author underthemilkyway6 Posted April 15, 2012 Author Posted April 15, 2012 I know. i also dont get this from women: "live for the day" - means, get drunk and sleep around or play games. "if you cant handle me at my worst then you sure as hell cant handle me at my best" - such common copy quotes. do they even know what it means? HELL NO! Even more fakes and dramas.... it is SOOOO off putting. id love to date you and keep you sweet At least I know there's some who wouldn't replace you so quickly and would cherish what they have! It's a comforting thought
Author underthemilkyway6 Posted April 15, 2012 Author Posted April 15, 2012 not a thought...real try me would be interesting huh...then we can test our theories of previous hurt from others and how it impacts on a relationship!
firehawk_1 Posted April 15, 2012 Posted April 15, 2012 sure! and make a success LS story at the same time
Author underthemilkyway6 Posted April 15, 2012 Author Posted April 15, 2012 sure! and make a success LS story at the same time true! Finally a different ending!
firehawk_1 Posted April 15, 2012 Posted April 15, 2012 true! Finally a different ending! A different but wonderful, and true, ending. shall await your PM.....
firehawk_1 Posted April 16, 2012 Posted April 16, 2012 big hugs and kisses.... hope your day is better!
Author underthemilkyway6 Posted April 16, 2012 Author Posted April 16, 2012 It is firehawk thanks(!) and how is yours? Hope waaaaay better! Btw, how do u pm on this site??
firehawk_1 Posted April 17, 2012 Posted April 17, 2012 if I am not mistaken, I think you need at least 50 post counts before you can PM the person (by clicking on their name then selecting "send private message" from the menu/drop down list)
Author underthemilkyway6 Posted April 17, 2012 Author Posted April 17, 2012 if I am not mistaken, I think you need at least 50 post counts before you can PM the person (by clicking on their name then selecting "send private message" from the menu/drop down list) Hmm...so I need to start a new "dramatic" thread" to get to 50 b/f I can PM? Any suggestion for a new thread title?
veggirl Posted April 17, 2012 Posted April 17, 2012 Hmm...so I need to start a new "dramatic" thread" to get to 50 b/f I can PM? Any suggestion for a new thread title? 100 posts and 30 days membership is what the mod said on another post.
firehawk_1 Posted April 18, 2012 Posted April 18, 2012 Ah. thanks for that. I think I missed it ill wait....
Author underthemilkyway6 Posted April 18, 2012 Author Posted April 18, 2012 WOW! I'll have to "earn" you Firehawk!
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