rbitrage Posted April 13, 2012 Posted April 13, 2012 Basically gave the speech to my gf this past tuesday. She took me for granted too long and i need to get some respect back both within myself and from her. Talking didn't help, trying to back off didn't help because she would always want to meet up again. Weird thing is she totally didn't react to the break. She's got exams and the next two months would be bad anyways, so I said it's just bad right now and timing is one of the keys to any relationship so maybe we should just take a break and re-visit this when timing is better for the both of us, if we are both free then. She basically agreed that this was for the best and didn't show any reaction. I'd say she was almost relieved if not for the fact that she was always asking me to meet up and even talking sweet to me early last week. There was just too much flaking and lack of effort on her part which may stay the same unless she really wants this. Question is, it is usually the dumper who is supposed to re-approach but in this case, because i want her to realize how much she took me for granted do i go no contact till she approaches me? It may never happen from her side, and I am already planning on dating others. We were only together for around 4 months so not sure what the best protocol is here?
Author rbitrage Posted April 14, 2012 Author Posted April 14, 2012 Yeah, my friends were telling me to do this a while back, but I was so much in the throws of how serious we were getting that i kept letting her little things slip by. Be a little late here and there, no problem. re-schedule because she had to work late, no problem, but it was one time too many a couple of weeks ago and I just said, that's it no more. She's very alpha and confident and I've lost her respect by being too nice. I'm doing it because I am easy going and care about her, and she's seeing it as I'm a pushover. I'm usually quite the opposite to be honest and somehow I let my guard down, and she totally took advantage. Anyways, the sad thing is I really like her lot (dare I say love) and I know she's in a very tough stressful last few months before she finishes her program but we were in a bad spot and I needed to assert myself. Hopefully she realizes that and wants an equal relationship. ideally she will reach out at one point but since I initiated the breakup, she may expect me to. It's a bit weird. All i know is I'm gonna stick with no contact for a while (hopefully)
Chi townD Posted April 14, 2012 Posted April 14, 2012 There is no such thing as "taking a break" Taking a break = Breaking up I mean, you've already planned on dating other girls. And by her reaction, she's probably entertaining the idea of dating other guys.... Sometimes relationships just come to a natural end. Live your life as if she's not coming back....because chances are, she isn't. Sorry to be so blunt. 3
Author rbitrage Posted April 14, 2012 Author Posted April 14, 2012 I disagree. It may happen in my case, but I know plenty of friends for whom the breakup and time apart made their relationship way stronger and are now married. I understand that it is better to think this way so you don't live on false hope, but I think sometimes you have to take a chance and give things a second shot, even if it feels risky. Of course only if both people want it and give it a real try.
rickys Posted April 14, 2012 Posted April 14, 2012 There is no such thing as "taking a break" Taking a break = Breaking up I mean, you've already planned on dating other girls. And by her reaction, she's probably entertaining the idea of dating other guys.... Sometimes relationships just come to a natural end. Live your life as if she's not coming back....because chances are, she isn't. Sorry to be so blunt. I completely agree with what you said....
KathyM Posted April 14, 2012 Posted April 14, 2012 If a woman is taking you for granted after just four months together, then I'd say your relationship doesn't have much going for it, and it's probably best to end it at this point.
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