Nikki Sahagin Posted April 13, 2012 Posted April 13, 2012 My friend recently loaned me a book called 'The Rules'. This book is basically an old fashioned guide for modern women. The advice includes the following: 1. Keep your hair long. Men don't like short hair. 2. Never talk to a man first. 3. Be ladylike at all times. 4. Don't be too open. 5. If he does something to upset you, don't say anything. Dump him or accept it, but NEVER bring it up. 6. Never pay for a first date or go dutch. 7. Never call him. 8. Always cut his phonecalls short and act busy. 9. Only see him once a week. 10. If you aren't busy, pretend you are. 11. Never say you like him, are attracted to him or love him first. 12. Establish interests and hobbies just to have a seperate life to him. Reading this, overall I found this way of acting would drive me to despair. You'd constantly need to be in control of yourself and restrained. You could never be impulsive, spontaneous or passionate. I know this is tried and tested traditional advice and supposedly it works, but does telling/selling this advice to women and men interupt the natural progression of like/lust/love/sex/dating? Do we really have to follow these steps for men to like us? If you call a guy will he seriously freak out? If you have sex too soon, is that bad? If you have a chat for an hour on the phone instead of 4 minutes, are you too eager? Are we poisoning natural relationships be establishing these rules? I mean all relationships follow an arc... 1) Crazy passion and infatuation 2) Stabilises 3) Either remains stable or ends So does it really matter if we follow all these rules or not if all relationships end up following the same pattern? Men: do you think women should do these things? Wouldn't you get frustrated if a girl never called or was always busy? Or do you truly love the challenge/conquest of an unavailable girl? Honest thoughts please...
Pyro Posted April 13, 2012 Posted April 13, 2012 I agree with the 'Don't Be Too Open' The rest are ridiculous and will only lead to problems down the road.
Imajerk17 Posted April 13, 2012 Posted April 13, 2012 Aww man. Maybe I as a guy am doing something wrong, but I fell for women who broke ALMOST EVERY ONE of these rules (except #12--you always should have a life, I couldn't date a girl who didn't have her own passions). 1
Badsingularity Posted April 13, 2012 Posted April 13, 2012 #7's 8 9 10 and 11 are garbage and could cause you to lose a good man
EasyHeart Posted April 13, 2012 Posted April 13, 2012 When men complain about women "playing games" THIS is the crap they are talking about. Don't play games. Ever. OTH, they're right about the long hair. Jes sayin'.
Woggle Posted April 13, 2012 Posted April 13, 2012 I see plenty of women with short hair who are able to get a guy so it is not as big a deal as people make it out to be. A woman in my neighborhood is damn near bald by choice and has a great marriage.
RedRobin Posted April 14, 2012 Posted April 14, 2012 This is the same as PUA stuff. It probably works on insecure men. Just like PUA stuff works on insecure women. Although, I'd argue that having a life is it's own reward. Be busy because you are. What they are trying to get women to do is not wrap herself around a man before he proves himself. Wierd about the short hair... but I have to agree, it works. Men were coming out of the woodwork to ask me out after my divorce. I cut off all my hair, and *poof*... no men. Which is what I wanted at the time. Doesn't count if one is already in a relationship. They already know you aren't gay.
SJC2008 Posted April 14, 2012 Posted April 14, 2012 I agree with red robin that this si PUA stuff for men. The last woman I dated pulled this ish and things fell apart and forgive me for "tooting my horn" but she lost a man who wants nothing more than to give his heart to a woman and get married in the next few years and start a family. I'm not saying I would of given it to her or forced anything, after all we just met. But my intentions are good I can assure you that. But no she had to play her games. If you have half a brain in your head (general statement not directed at op) you can tell if he likes you or is there for the time being. Judge a man by his actions not his words. While it is the mans job to lead and to escalate things relationship wise he needs signs and reciprocation. I'm not going to chase a dead fish or put myself out there like an arsehole and "take a shot in the dark" I need to feel like you WANT me too and CARE about me too, thus making these stupid rules a waste of time.
prune juice Posted April 14, 2012 Posted April 14, 2012 My friend recently loaned me a book called 'The Rules'. This book is basically an old fashioned guide for modern women. The advice includes the following: 1. Keep your hair long. Men don't like short hair. 2. Never talk to a man first. 3. Be ladylike at all times. 4. Don't be too open. 5. If he does something to upset you, don't say anything. Dump him or accept it, but NEVER bring it up. 6. Never pay for a first date or go dutch. 7. Never call him. 8. Always cut his phonecalls short and act busy. 9. Only see him once a week. 10. If you aren't busy, pretend you are. 11. Never say you like him, are attracted to him or love him first. 12. Establish interests and hobbies just to have a seperate life to him. Reading this, overall I found this way of acting would drive me to despair. You'd constantly need to be in control of yourself and restrained. You could never be impulsive, spontaneous or passionate. I know this is tried and tested traditional advice and supposedly it works, but does telling/selling this advice to women and men interupt the natural progression of like/lust/love/sex/dating? Do we really have to follow these steps for men to like us? If you call a guy will he seriously freak out? If you have sex too soon, is that bad? If you have a chat for an hour on the phone instead of 4 minutes, are you too eager? Are we poisoning natural relationships be establishing these rules? I mean all relationships follow an arc... 1) Crazy passion and infatuation 2) Stabilises 3) Either remains stable or ends So does it really matter if we follow all these rules or not if all relationships end up following the same pattern? Men: do you think women should do these things? Wouldn't you get frustrated if a girl never called or was always busy? Or do you truly love the challenge/conquest of an unavailable girl? Honest thoughts please... gals create these rules follow them, except with they meet the guy with a perfect figure they want to fu*k.
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