Jane2011 Posted April 13, 2012 Posted April 13, 2012 ...and you loved each other, you guys had been together for two years, and things were good. What if she wanted to have an open relationship on her side where she's allowed to see women (but not men)? Would you be okay with that? Just wondering. 'Cause I know someone in this situation. And he doesn't have a problem with his girlfriend dating other women. Would it matter to you anyway just because she's enjoying emotional and physical intimacy with other human beings even if they weren't men?
Oxy Moronovich Posted April 13, 2012 Posted April 13, 2012 The vast majority of women these days are bisexual. It's the new "in-thing" with women to be bisexual. If I walk into a room with 5 women, 4 are guaranteed to be bisexual. So most guys have a bisexual chick anyway. You're thread is redundant. By the way, I'm open to my chick banging other chicks on the side as long as she's cool with me banging chicks on the side too. 1
PratyekaYana Posted April 13, 2012 Posted April 13, 2012 ...and you loved each other, you guys had been together for two years, and things were good. What if she wanted to have an open relationship on her side where she's allowed to see women (but not men)? Would you be okay with that? Just wondering. 'Cause I know someone in this situation. And he doesn't have a problem with his girlfriend dating other women. Would it matter to you anyway just because she's enjoying emotional and physical intimacy with other human beings even if they weren't men? Were I still an advocate of the open relationship model, I suspect my opinion would mirror OxyMoronovich's: turn about is fair play. If my significant other and I have agreed to bestow the freedom for her to pursue sexual encounters outside of our relationship, then it only follows that I too must be able to indulge myself in this way. Based entirely on anecdotal evidence though, which I'm certain doesn't fully represent the reality of the situation, I would likely be doubly cautious in navigating an open relationship where my SO sought same-sex relationships. Lesbians (and bisexual women) are often seemingly discontented to share a sexual interest with a man.
mesmerized Posted April 13, 2012 Posted April 13, 2012 The vast majority of women these days are bisexual. It's the new "in-thing" with women to be bisexual. If I walk into a room with 5 women, 4 are guaranteed to be bisexual. So most guys have a bisexual chick anyway. You're thread is redundant. By the way, I'm open to my chick banging other chicks on the side as long as she's cool with me banging chicks on the side too. Where did you get this BS stat from? I have tons of female friends and only one of them considers herself to be bisexual.
somedude81 Posted April 13, 2012 Posted April 13, 2012 Let me have a threesome every now and then, (with her GF or a friend/stranger doesn't matter) and I'll call it even.
Badsingularity Posted April 13, 2012 Posted April 13, 2012 Where did you get this BS stat from? I have tons of female friends and only one of them considers herself to be bisexual. I agree with Oxy on this. From what I have seen and experienced, I'd say at the least half of all women are bi sexual. Including my GF. Some don't want to admit this and deny it when asked only to admit years later that they always were and were just scared to admit it to people.
mesmerized Posted April 13, 2012 Posted April 13, 2012 I agree with Oxy on this. From what I have seen and experienced, I'd say at the least half of all women are bi sexual. Including my GF. Some don't want to admit this and deny it when asked only to admit years later that they always were and were just scared to admit it to people. Depends what you count as "bisexual". I can kiss a woman without feeling ill or maybe I even like it, but am I bisexual? no. Do I go out seek women to have sex with or even kiss? NO. And women are usually extremely comfortable with me when it comes to talking about sexuality so I highly doubt its about them being afraid to admit it. Perhaps girls act bi in front of you because they think that's what's you're into. These girls in clubs who kiss each other aren't bisexual, they do it because they're attention whores!
Oxy Moronovich Posted April 13, 2012 Posted April 13, 2012 Depends what you count as "bisexual". I can kiss a woman without feeling ill or maybe I even like it, but am I bisexual? no. Do I go out seek women to have sex with or even kiss? NO. And women are usually extremely comfortable with me when it comes to talking about sexuality so I highly doubt its about them being afraid to admit it. Perhaps girls act bi in front of you because they think that's what's you're into. These girls in clubs who kiss each other aren't bisexual, they do it because they're attention whores! Pfft. That's meaningless. A woman can choose to go with a man because he has more money and pays for her dinner. She wouldn't consider that golddigging. But that's what it is.
CarrieT Posted April 13, 2012 Posted April 13, 2012 I hazard to guess that many young women in their twenties consider themselves Bi-CURIOUS in that they will experiment with same-sex activities. But as to actually having a full-on emotional relationship with another women? Pffft.... Seriously doubt these bi-curious women truly want a bisexual RELATIONSHIP as much as they want the physical experience with another woman. This comes from a woman who has had sex AND relationships with both sexes over the past 30 years; those with women were in my youth when experimentation was/is de rigueur. 1
EasyHeart Posted April 13, 2012 Posted April 13, 2012 Let me have a threesome every now and then, (with her GF or a friend/stranger doesn't matter) and I'll call it even. I was in this exact situation once, and this is the compromise we agreed upon. It was great!!! OP: Are you saying that this couple has been monogamous for two years, and NOW the woman wants to have a girlfriend on the side? I think I would have a problem with that. In my case, she was upfront about it at the beginning (and frankly, neither of us thought it was going to be a LTR), but after 6-8 months she lost all interest in women and was just interested in me. That was fine, but I think I'd be a little confused (and concerned) if we'd been exclusive for two years and then she wanted to see other people.
Oxy Moronovich Posted April 13, 2012 Posted April 13, 2012 Women can say what they want but guys see it differently. Virtually all guys would say most women are bisexual.
Badsingularity Posted April 13, 2012 Posted April 13, 2012 Depends what you count as "bisexual". I can kiss a woman without feeling ill or maybe I even like it, but am I bisexual? no. Do I go out seek women to have sex with or even kiss? NO. And women are usually extremely comfortable with me when it comes to talking about sexuality so I highly doubt its about them being afraid to admit it. Perhaps girls act bi in front of you because they think that's what's you're into. These girls in clubs who kiss each other aren't bisexual, they do it because they're attention whores! If a woman is ever sexually attracted to another woman than I would say that she is bisexual. I have never felt sexually attracted to another man and the thought of it repulses me so I would say that I am not bisexual. Some will not admit it even to a very close friend. This was the case with my GFs friend who she actually lived with for a few years. She vehemently denied it when my GF asked her if she was only to openly express sexual attraction to women a few years later. I do not base my suspicion of this on girls kissing each other when they are drunk. I have actually asked many women about this and over half of them told me that they were bisexual and they were being honest, not trying to impress me.
gaius Posted April 13, 2012 Posted April 13, 2012 I'm not looking to compete for my girlfriends attention and bed, with a male or female.
kaylan Posted April 13, 2012 Posted April 13, 2012 OP your example is why I dont date bisexual women. Ive seen my lesbian and guy friends get burned before because a bi chick decided she needed action from the other side. Its just too much drama. Plus the bi thing never really turned me on. I find a woman who loves men and only men to be most attractive. So I guess the OP doesnt apply to me...but I wanted to share my opinion. If I was in the situation you painted up, I would break up with that woman. The fact that shes considering dating other people when she knows how I feel about her means she doesnt feel the same way, and I wont be with a woman who doesnt want only me and cant handle only having me.
TaraMaiden Posted April 13, 2012 Posted April 13, 2012 ...and you loved each other, you guys had been together for two years, and things were good. What if she wanted to have an open relationship on her side where she's allowed to see women (but not men)? Would you be okay with that? gender is immaterial. Cheating is cheating..... Just wondering. 'Cause I know someone in this situation. And he doesn't have a problem with his girlfriend dating other women. Well if he doesn't have a problem - then it's not a problem. Unless of course, emotions start getting in the way....
kaylan Posted April 13, 2012 Posted April 13, 2012 Also, Your friend is gonna end up in a bad situation...because Ive never seen the open bi relationship work too long. Open relationships in general Ive never seen work for long. The guy usually ends up getting jealous. Especially if the girlfriend ends up getting emotionally attached with another woman. He thinks its attractive and no threat to him at the moment...but why? Its because he thinks he as a man is better than a woman and that a woman cannot compete with him. He wouldnt allow her to have another man....thats how Ive seen these type of guys operate. But if she ends up catching feelings for the other woman, he will feel like crap and only have himself to blame. Ive seen it happen and read about this kind of situation too many times. I think the gf is selfish and not really thinking about the harm this could cause her relationship. The vast majority of women these days are bisexual. It's the new "in-thing" with women to be bisexual. If I walk into a room with 5 women, 4 are guaranteed to be bisexual. So most guys have a bisexual chick anyway. You're thread is redundant. By the way, I'm open to my chick banging other chicks on the side as long as she's cool with me banging chicks on the side too. Weve gone over this in another thread. Untrue.
Feelsgoodman Posted April 13, 2012 Posted April 13, 2012 This is why you don't ever want to be in a serious relationship with a bisexual woman (or bisexual man).
kaylan Posted April 14, 2012 Posted April 14, 2012 If a woman is ever sexually attracted to another woman than I would say that she is bisexual. I have never felt sexually attracted to another man and the thought of it repulses me so I would say that I am not bisexual. Some will not admit it even to a very close friend. This was the case with my GFs friend who she actually lived with for a few years. She vehemently denied it when my GF asked her if she was only to openly express sexual attraction to women a few years later. I do not base my suspicion of this on girls kissing each other when they are drunk. I have actually asked many women about this and over half of them told me that they were bisexual and they were being honest, not trying to impress me. I wouldnt agree with this. Sexuality is fluid...and I dont think a chick or guy would be bisexual just because they once had a same sex attraction. If its a constant attraction then yes they are bi. Btw, your physical repulsion to same sex thoughts is culturally influenced. Realize women were the same way 25 years ago. Realize people were super discriminatory against gays and lesbians back then too. Now many people are much more open and uncaring about it. And like another poster said, kissing doesnt make you bi. Plenty of fake bi folks out there. Hell, guys in the emo and hXc scenes do that stuff. They make out to get the girls hot. I used to see it when I was younger and going to shows. They wouldnt ever take it further than that though. It was all attention whoring. I find it all silly when its done for opposite sex attention.
Badsingularity Posted April 14, 2012 Posted April 14, 2012 This is why you don't ever want to be in a serious relationship with a bisexual woman (or bisexual man). I don't know about that man. Just because a woman is bisexual doesn't mean she is going to cheat with another women. If someone is going to cheat they are going to cheat. Like I said my GF is bisexual and we are going on five years together and our reltionship is better than it has ever been.
dasein Posted April 14, 2012 Posted April 14, 2012 I have no idea what % of women are bisexual, but have seen many... MANY... otherwise "straight" women gladly go down on a woman or let a woman go down on her, snog, squeeze and suck tits, get naked even, whole girls gone wild show, when buzzed, not even blotto drunk, just buzzed. I have never... NEVER... seen an otherwise "straight" dude, no matter if he drank the whole bar up, snorted an 8 ball and ate a bottle full of eballs, be willing to suck a d-ck or let a dude suck his d-ck. But then I've never been to prison...
Oxy Moronovich Posted April 14, 2012 Posted April 14, 2012 I have no idea what % of women are bisexual, but have seen many... MANY... otherwise "straight" women gladly go down on a woman or let a woman go down on her, snog, squeeze and suck tits, get naked even, whole girls gone wild show, when buzzed, not even blotto drunk, just buzzed. I have never... NEVER... seen an otherwise "straight" dude, no matter if he drank the whole bar up, snorted an 8 ball and ate a bottle full of eballs, be willing to suck a d-ck or let a dude suck his d-ck. But then I've never been to prison... And then after sex with another women, some of those women will say they're straight or "bicurious". I don't care what folks say. If you have sex with both genders, even once, you're bisexual.
Badsingularity Posted April 14, 2012 Posted April 14, 2012 Btw, your physical repulsion to same sex thoughts is culturally influenced. Not the case with me. When I see the shape of a woman I feel attraction. I have never felt that attraction for a man. Just that simple. I realy don't care what anyone thinks of me so if I ever did feel attraction for a man I would say so. Some people do and have felt attraction for the same sex and I have no problem with that. Just like my GF.
Author Jane2011 Posted April 14, 2012 Author Posted April 14, 2012 Were I still an advocate of the open relationship model, I suspect my opinion would mirror OxyMoronovich's: turn about is fair play. If my significant other and I have agreed to bestow the freedom for her to pursue sexual encounters outside of our relationship, then it only follows that I too must be able to indulge myself in this way. Based entirely on anecdotal evidence though, which I'm certain doesn't fully represent the reality of the situation, I would likely be doubly cautious in navigating an open relationship where my SO sought same-sex relationships. Lesbians (and bisexual women) are often seemingly discontented to share a sexual interest with a man. You used to advocate open relationships? Why no more? Also, this couple is okay with just her having outside sexual relations because the guy doesn't feel jealous of women. I guess he's not thinking about or worried about the sanctity of emotional and physical exclusivity as long as his ego is in tact in a certain way (no competition from other men).
Author Jane2011 Posted April 14, 2012 Author Posted April 14, 2012 OP: Are you saying that this couple has been monogamous for two years, and NOW the woman wants to have a girlfriend on the side? I think I would have a problem with that. In my case, she was upfront about it at the beginning (and frankly, neither of us thought it was going to be a LTR), but after 6-8 months she lost all interest in women and was just interested in me. That was fine, but I think I'd be a little confused (and concerned) if we'd been exclusive for two years and then she wanted to see other people. They've been together for two years exactly; the girl has always *talked about* wanting an open relationship, but they did not put it into effect until about eight months ago. So, she was upfront.
Author Jane2011 Posted April 14, 2012 Author Posted April 14, 2012 This is why you don't ever want to be in a serious relationship with a bisexual woman (or bisexual man). Although "never say never," I don't think I'd be attracted to a bisexual guy. I like guys who are just plain straight.
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