italiangirl Posted June 17, 2004 Posted June 17, 2004 [font=arial][/font][color=black][/color] Hello All, I met this guy who was totally not my type. We started off being friends tho because my best friend knew him and they were really good friends. Anyways...after awhile we started getting feelings for eachother and got along really well. i normally arent very nice to guys and am very picky. this guy has a 4 yr old and a 2 yr old. he tells me hes not messing around with the mother of his children and for a strange reason i believe it but...he doesnt want me to talk when she calls him so she doesnt know hes with someone because he doesnt want to hurt her feelings and hes over there all the time to see his children because he lives with his friend and her mom. hes started to act kinda mean to me and says its because i complain too much. what i complain about is that he never wants to see or talk to me anymore unlike when we first started talking he was really sweet and wanted to be around me all the time. now he says hes comfortable and hes not an affectionate or emotional person. we argue a lot and he says i turned soft on him cause he easily hurts my feelings and that he wants the old me back. i dont know if i am just being stupid and not seeing that he just doesnt really like me or if me "complaining" is just really annoying to him. but i wouldnt have to complain if he wouldnt have turned from a nice sweet guy to this guy who acts like he doesnt care about anything and never wants to be around me. and i dont know if i should be worried about his ex (which is the mom) someone please give me some advice on this. what do you think i should do? quit talking to him? or try to work it out? i really like him and we USED to get along extremely well. it seems like now there is always something between us.
uriel Posted June 19, 2004 Posted June 19, 2004 Could be that he's one of those men who likes a woman who is confident and independent -- a challenge. You might normally be that type of woman (very picky, as you say), but have now presented a more softer, feminine, clinging side of yourself because you have feelings for him. Since he likes the other type, this new side of you is a turn-off. I think you should accept this side of yourself, rather than pretending it doesn't exist. When a guy wins you over, you should expect that whatever you then reveal about who you really are on the inside should cause him to respond with love too. That doesn't seem to be the case here. Also, I don't think it's a good practice to date anyone who keeps your relationship a secret. Even if that doesn't mean he's seeing someone else, it does mean that he's reluctant to make things open, official, and to integrate you into the rest of his life. That was the first misstep you made with him -- not the complaining. That taught him that you weren't going to stand up for your own rights and get the respect any woman deserves who is romantically involved with a man. Sorry to stay -- I don't think he's the one. Find a man who loves all your sides and doesn't hide your relationship from anyone. -- uriel
Dee Dee Posted June 23, 2004 Posted June 23, 2004 If your "relationship" has to be secret, then why??? If he's not able to share his total life with you, then move on...only you can determine who YOU are going to allow to have the power to infulence, control, etc.,. Remember, its you life too!
Recommended Posts