thought of Posted April 13, 2012 Posted April 13, 2012 I have been dating a girl for the past 6 months and she is the greatest woman that I've ever been with. She and I have a really good relationship and enjoy spending time together. The last 6 months of my life has been amazing. However, over the course of the 6 months I found out that she used to date Black guys. It bothers me and makes me feel grossed out by her past. I create crazy images in my mind of her getting gang banged and disrespected by black guys. I know this is wrong but I can't get it to stop and it's making me feel bad for a number of reasons. When I was in the Army black guys would always try to bang white girls and get them to bang their friends too. I thought it was gross and hope that this never happened to my girlfriend. But I think it did. She mentioned something that led me to that conclusion, and I'm scared to ask because if that is the truth, I don't know how that would make me view her. I want to be more present, and not let the past affect the way I feel now. I have a past too and have done all kinds of crazy sexual things. It wouldn't bother me if she told me she dated asians, or mexicans, so why the problem with blacks? Maybe I'm imagining her in situations that I've seen other girls in, and it makes me respect her less. I love her and don't want to think of these things I am not racist (didn't think I was) and have always made a point to love all people and be as open minded as possible. I have been with women of all ethnicity's - black, asian, hispanic, white, etc. I am white. I come from a place that is very racist, where whites dating blacks is frowned upon. However I do not consider myself racist, and moved out of there as soon as I could to join the Army. I have traveled the world, have many friends, am a good hearted person, and am not insecure about my dick size. Why does this bother me so much? Is it something rooted in my past maybe? I am upset with myself for feeling this way. And don't want to tell her because I'm afraid that she will see me as insecure or racist, which I didn't think I was until now. I've read all kinds of blog posts about this subject and it has helped to read what both men and women think. I promise that I am not some racist *******. But I am really hurting and don't know what to do. Should I talk to her? Or address my issues alone and get over it so she doesn't have to deal with it?
stillafool Posted April 13, 2012 Posted April 13, 2012 Why was it okay for you to date black girls but not okay for her to date black guys?
Eve Posted April 13, 2012 Posted April 13, 2012 and am not insecure about my dick size. Why do I find this so funny? Take care, Eve x
irin Posted April 13, 2012 Posted April 13, 2012 no offence but guys in the army are in general messed up. im not black or white but i know some black guys that treat women with so much respect far more then any of the white guys. i think your just insecure.
stillafool Posted April 13, 2012 Posted April 13, 2012 OP do you plan to participate in your thread or are you just venting?
dbave Posted April 17, 2012 Posted April 17, 2012 Sounds like you are extremely insecure over this matter and it roots deep into your childhood. You were probably raised to believe black guys dating white girls is beyond bad whether directly or indirectly. Honestly this is not your fault but it is the fault of the environment you grew up in. Sounds like she dated consecutive black guys. You sound worried that she prefers black/dark skin sexier than white/pale skin. Much like how many men feel thin girls are sexier than obese. The quick solution is to sit down with her and have a constructive conversation is a normal toned voice. Reaffirm that she likes you for who you are and that those traits takes precedence over skin tone.
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