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NC judgement calls

Headintheclouds

By Headintheclouds
in Breaks and Breaking Up

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HollyBolly Established Member

HollyBolly

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Fantastic! That will be a huge step for you. :love:

 

Thank you! I can't wait! :D

CCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCC Member

CCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCC

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I struggle with this myself, it's hard to go from being in love and spending all your time together to just....nothing. It breeds feelings of resentment and wondering if everything that we experienced and shared was just a sham.

 

So I go back and forth with it, wondering if I can let her know that I still care but that it's really over and there is no going back. How do you do that? How can you stay in contact with somebody that was everything to you and no longer is without it being painful? Do either one of us want to hear about how life is like without the other? I cant even look at a picture of her that was taken after we broke up because all I can think of is "This is her smiling and living life without me in it". It's utter torture.

 

It's a delicate dance and one that I do not feel I can maintain because if I take that step I risk generating false hope for both of us.

 

So in my case at least it has to be all or nothing. :(

I seem to be in the same situation as you. My ex still wanted to contact me once in a while but I couldn't take it. I just told her to "take care of yourself because I still have strong feelings for you. I wish you the best of luck and hope you find your happiness soon. Please do not contact me any longer because it is now my time to heal." I also told her that we could be friends again later after we both take some time apart. You just have to make sure you stick with it after you tell her this because there is still a chance see may contact you.

 

Someone stated something like this earlier in the thread, but it really does seem better than just flat out ignoring them off the back. If your break up ended on good terms then it shows that you have respect and it will be easier to become friends again after you heal, if thats what you wish for.

Edited by CCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCC
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