Thisisme664 Posted April 13, 2012 Posted April 13, 2012 Hey all, Long time reader, first time poster here. Just gonna start out by saying that I'm typing this on my phone, so I'm gonna try and keep it fairly short. I've been dating a guy for about 5 months now, we get along great, have chemistry and lots of stuff in common. We see eachother a couple times a week. Probably 70% just the 2 of us. 30% in group of some sort. We kiss everytime we see eachother but haven't had sex, and have only fooled around and done oral (reciprocal) twice. we are both adults who are sexual active and are just kind of casually dating. He is coming over tonight and I plan on talking to him about the situation, anyone have any tips/advice on how to broach things? Thanks!
NeverDated Posted April 13, 2012 Posted April 13, 2012 What's there to broach? You want to have sex. I would tell him I want to have sex.
Radu Posted April 13, 2012 Posted April 13, 2012 Hey all, Long time reader, first time poster here. Just gonna start out by saying that I'm typing this on my phone, so I'm gonna try and keep it fairly short. I've been dating a guy for about 5 months now, we get along great, have chemistry and lots of stuff in common. We see eachother a couple times a week. Probably 70% just the 2 of us. 30% in group of some sort. We kiss everytime we see eachother but haven't had sex, and have only fooled around and done oral (reciprocal) twice. we are both adults who are sexual active and are just kind of casually dating. He is coming over tonight and I plan on talking to him about the situation, anyone have any tips/advice on how to broach things? Thanks! Are you both sexually active with each other because of the oral stuff, or with others; it gets a bit confusing as you say this is casual dating for the both of you. You don't give much to go on, but first things to pop in my head would be : 1 - very shy, maybe insecure about his body ... but that doesn't hold because you did oral to one another 2 - very religious ? 3 - momma's boy ? 4 - low sex drive ... he would still want some by now 5 - asexual ?; does he love nibbling on you or are you the one who initiates ? 6 - impotent ... you can answer this best, think of that time with oral 7 - gay ?; see 5 8 - still pining for the girl that dumped him ? You didn't mention how old you 2 are and what are your relationship histories.
veggirl Posted April 13, 2012 Posted April 13, 2012 Strange. Are you guys exclusive? You said "casually dating"--is he seeing or possibly sleeping with others? I'd start there and then segue into why aren't you guys sleeping together...have you tried to amp things up sexually?
Author Thisisme664 Posted April 13, 2012 Author Posted April 13, 2012 Are you both sexually active with each other because of the oral stuff, or with others; it gets a bit confusing as you say this is casual dating for the both of you. You don't give much to go on, but first things to pop in my head would be : 1 - very shy, maybe insecure about his body ... but that doesn't hold because you did oral to one another 2 - very religious ? 3 - momma's boy ? 4 - low sex drive ... he would still want some by now 5 - asexual ?; does he love nibbling on you or are you the one who initiates ? 6 - impotent ... you can answer this best, think of that time with oral 7 - gay ?; see 5 8 - still pining for the girl that dumped him ? You didn't mention how old you 2 are and what are your relationship histories. We're both in our late 20's, and have had sex with other people before. I'm not looking for possible reasons as to why we aren't having sex, more so trying to figure out a way to bring up the topic without putting him on the spot. I don't want to attack him, just wanna have a discussion.
Author Thisisme664 Posted April 13, 2012 Author Posted April 13, 2012 Strange. Are you guys exclusive? You said "casually dating"--is he seeing or possibly sleeping with others? I'd start there and then segue into why aren't you guys sleeping together...have you tried to amp things up sexually? We are not exclusive. He is free to see or sleep with other people. We do talk pretty much everyday, and based on those conversations I highly doubt he is seeing/sleeping with anyone. But who knows, it's possible. I don't want to focus on that part of our relationship though, I'm fine with what we are - just want to add sex to the equation.... I haven't really pushed the issue, initiating things has never really been my strong suit, I've definitely hinted - but I have no idea if he realised. That's why I want to actually sit down and talk.
Author Thisisme664 Posted April 13, 2012 Author Posted April 13, 2012 5 months dating and no sex. You are a woman. I don't get the problem. It sounds pretty normal to me. Most women want to wait far longer than that. Doesn't sound normal to me at all. Unless there is some sort of religious reason (which isn't the case for either of us) I see no reason to wait. I like him, he likes me, we have fun together and we both know where we currently stand in the relationship... What exactly are we supposed to be waiting for?
thatone Posted April 13, 2012 Posted April 13, 2012 Take your shirt off and throw a condom at him, no confusion then! 2
Author Thisisme664 Posted April 13, 2012 Author Posted April 13, 2012 Take your shirt off and throw a condom at him, no confusion then! Have definitely thought about pulling something like that. However from all I've gathered this is something other than him not knowing I want sex. Which is why I wanna ask him about it.
oaks Posted April 13, 2012 Posted April 13, 2012 Have definitely thought about pulling something like that. However from all I've gathered this is something other than him not knowing I want sex. Which is why I wanna ask him about it. "Hey Bob, we've been dating for 5 months now. Why aren't we ****ing like bunnies?"
thatone Posted April 13, 2012 Posted April 13, 2012 Have definitely thought about pulling something like that. However from all I've gathered this is something other than him not knowing I want sex. Which is why I wanna ask him about it. it may be just that simple. he might think he's being nice, what with the age of men growing up with their lifetime movie watching single mothers and all. read this forum enough and you'll find lots of men in their 30s on up who have no clue what women want. in my opinion, there's a much higher likelihood that simply jumping his bones would be a lot less awkward than forcing a conversation about it.
Author Thisisme664 Posted April 13, 2012 Author Posted April 13, 2012 it may be just that simple. he might think he's being nice, what with the age of men growing up with their lifetime movie watching single mothers and all. read this forum enough and you'll find lots of men in their 30s on up who have no clue what women want. in my opinion, there's a much higher likelihood that simply jumping his bones would be a lot less awkward than forcing a conversation about it. hmm... maybe. Will play it by ear I guess... maybe put the moves on him and see what happens. Although last time we fooled around he definitely had the opportunity for sex and requested a blow job instead which has made me a bit curious... It all has me perplexed...
Author Thisisme664 Posted April 13, 2012 Author Posted April 13, 2012 Message me and let's meet up, I'll give you a good bangin! tempting!
thatone Posted April 13, 2012 Posted April 13, 2012 hmm... maybe. Will play it by ear I guess... maybe put the moves on him and see what happens. Although last time we fooled around he definitely had the opportunity for sex and requested a blow job instead which has made me a bit curious... It all has me perplexed... maybe he just likes blowjobs more. it might be that simple too. hell, i do. my gf and i have sex in the positions she likes, she enjoys the actual intercourse more than me. i'm happy with oral, and actually have better orgasms from handjobs/blowjobs than intercourse itself, always have. that in no way reflects her or the previous women i've been with, it's just a preference.
Author Thisisme664 Posted April 13, 2012 Author Posted April 13, 2012 maybe he just likes blowjobs more. it might be that simple too. hell, i do. my gf and i have sex in the positions she likes, she enjoys the actual intercourse more than me. i'm happy with oral, and actually have better orgasms from handjobs/blowjobs than intercourse itself, always have. that in no way reflects her or the previous women i've been with, it's just a preference. Fair enough... I'll see in a couple hours. Thanks for the input!
dasein Posted April 14, 2012 Posted April 14, 2012 Thread incoming tonight from a new poster, "Why do women just want sex with me??" Text: Have been dating this girl I like for 5 months. I like to go slow. Tonight she took off her top and threw a condom at me. I was terrified! Then she came right up and started grinding her coochie in my face!! The horror! I tried to run away and hide under the bed. She yanked me out by my ankles just as I was dialing 911. She only stopped when I started crying and went fetal. It's not that I don't like sex, I just want to meet a woman, just one, who doesn't want to jump me and wants to take time and get to know me. Why do they only seem to think about one thing?? signed, Rammsteindominator
Recommended Posts