biermadchen Posted April 13, 2012 Posted April 13, 2012 After some bad luck in love my friend decided to be celibate for a time to give himself the opportunity to be sure he was with someone special. I thought that was a great perspective to have and expressed my support. We’ve been talking more lately and recently there seems to be an attraction, but I feel weird because he’s kind of been coming on to me. I’ve played it off because I’m not sure where he’s coming from. I mean, he hasn’t asked me out on any kind of date or anything (although he’s said he’s wanted to), but then he comes on like he’s going for some kind of booty call or something. How would that be “special?” Why would he want to throw away what he’s gained in insight for just a physical release? And, if that’s the case, why me then? Especially after we’ve been becoming better friends?
HellyaImhopeless Posted April 13, 2012 Posted April 13, 2012 I think he might just be testing you to see if you're 'special'. Every guy wants sex, but deep down he wants you not to put out too soon. If you give the goods to him real quick (like I was stupid and did), he will most likely put you straight into the fwb-zone = he will not see you as special,.. next one.. Besides, how do you really know he is celibate.
Author biermadchen Posted April 13, 2012 Author Posted April 13, 2012 I know, that's exactly what I was thinking, and so I have been playing it off as best I can, like letting him know I would love to hang out and continue getting to know each other...and, if anything DID happen, cool, but not like "that"...
HellyaImhopeless Posted April 13, 2012 Posted April 13, 2012 Good girl. I wish I could have taken my own advice 1 year ago, and at least waited a bloody month, even that would have been too soon! :-/ Just keep getting to know him, let him see how special you are! Everytime he tries to come on to you in any sexual way, let that voice in your head remind you that if you give it to him, he won't see you as special.
Author biermadchen Posted April 13, 2012 Author Posted April 13, 2012 Thanks, you've made me feel a bit better...lol, would feel better if we could get past this and just hang out and decide if we would like to get closer, but I feel like he's embarrassed about having come on too strong (yes, after a couple of drinks or such), and then doesn't feel comfortable just going out or hanging out. I just want to steer this toward a situation more focused on getting to know each other and enjoying each other, y'know?
HellyaImhopeless Posted April 13, 2012 Posted April 13, 2012 Well, if he's coming on too sexually, then you should know he probably wants to be sexual with you. But its upto you. Im a bit confused. He comes in to you, yet is celibate?
Author biermadchen Posted April 14, 2012 Author Posted April 14, 2012 I know, right?? So yesterday we're texting back and forth and he asks if I'd like to do something tomorrow and I say ok and ask what he'd like to do and he hasn't texted back, lol. Now I'm wondering how long I should wait before either calling him myself or going ahead with alternate plans. Weeyurd!! I feel like when the hot and cold water taps are set up backwards and you're never quite sure which to turn, lol.
Author biermadchen Posted April 15, 2012 Author Posted April 15, 2012 Well,he said he was hung over and didnt feel up to doing anything. Never mind then, right? I just said he could call me whenever he felt better. Next!
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