prune juice Posted April 14, 2012 Posted April 14, 2012 The couple of men I slept with on the first few dates I ditched within a couple of weeks... and glad I did. One of them was so upset I broke up with him, he confessed he cheated on his wife multiple times. It was a 'how did you know after just a couple of weeks?" question from him. I just knew. The other one told me he was seeing other women the same time he was seeing me. Yep, I knew that too. Some guys think they are so sneaky... If a guy presses me for early sex, I don't stick around to see if he wants a 'relationship' or not. He's a man-whore in my book. If I'm acting like a woman-whore, I guess I get what I deserve... but, I still don't stick around waiting for HIM to decide if he wants a 'relationship' with me if I decided to sleep with him early on. What a joke. you know he was seeing other women but you had sex with him. gals are nuts.
somedude81 Posted April 14, 2012 Posted April 14, 2012 Usually I worked with them or went to school with them. I knew them for months. We were more than just co-workers & classmates. Maybe friends is too strong a word? We did hang out outside of work or school a few times. Then we went on official dates. Also, sometimes women I knew when I was dating someone else would want me as soon as I broke up. That describes each and every situation that I've been rejected by girls. Exactly the same thing I do. But they never wanted to go on official dates. It hasn't ever worked for me
phineas Posted April 14, 2012 Posted April 14, 2012 That describes each and every situation that I've been rejected by girls. Exactly the same thing I do. But they never wanted to go on official dates. It hasn't ever worked for me If it makes you feel better, they all cheated on me.
somedude81 Posted April 14, 2012 Posted April 14, 2012 If it makes you feel better, they all cheated on me. LOL! Not really, but it made me laugh. I'm still wondering what it's like to actually have sex with a girl, that I actually like.
RedRobin Posted April 14, 2012 Posted April 14, 2012 you know he was seeing other women but you had sex with him. gals are nuts. No. He confessed to what I already suspected after I broke up with him. He confirmed what I already 'knew'. I guess it was supposed to be some kind of gotcha on his part. Same thing with the first guy. Really thought it was strange that both of them thought it was supposed to make me feel bad. All it did was confirm my decision.
phineas Posted April 14, 2012 Posted April 14, 2012 LOL! Not really, but it made me laugh. I'm still wondering what it's like to actually have sex with a girl, that I actually like. Every time I agreed to take it slow with a woman and ignored other women I developed feelings & they never slept with me. They were though sleeping with someone else. As soon as switched my rules to sex = exclusive i've not only gotten laid more , I don't get led on and don't wind up with the oneitis.
SushiX Posted April 14, 2012 Posted April 14, 2012 Yes it is, men like women who put out. The more, the better.
g450 Posted April 15, 2012 Posted April 15, 2012 Well I can only speak for myself. When a woman has sex with me that is HUGE! And yes I would consider myself in a relationship. Cant really have one without it as somebody else stated. But for some people sex is just sex. It's the intentions behind it that you need to look at and we really cant help you with that. You need to study your guy to know this. He could be a player or he could be relationship material. How are we to know right? Some guys and women are players and sex is just a game for them. Its up to you to figure out which. If he is pressuring you then I would say this is a ref flag as he may be a player. But it works both ways as there are women that use sex as a weapon (ex wife) and others that use it to string you along to stoke their own egos (attention whores). My one and only rebound relationship was like that. So it cuts both ways. Before I have sex with somebody I would personally like to know what their intentions are. Most of the time people will tell you this before sex. It's up to you to determine if they are telling the truth. If you jump in without knowing then you can only blame yourself. I expect a girl to make me wait a bit. Feel me out and find out my intentions first. Ironically my Fiancee had sex with me first night she came over. Blew my mind. But as a guy I was just happy to get sex regardless of what her intentions were. She did make clear what she wanted right afterwards though. And that blew my mind as well. Mind you that I had been persuing her for about two weeks prior but having sex with her just brought us closer to sealing the deal.
Author goldengirl11 Posted April 15, 2012 Author Posted April 15, 2012 (edited) Well I can only speak for myself. When a woman has sex with me that is HUGE! And yes I would consider myself in a relationship. Cant really have one without it as somebody else stated. But for some people sex is just sex. It's the intentions behind it that you need to look at and we really cant help you with that. You need to study your guy to know this. He could be a player or he could be relationship material. How are we to know right? Some guys and women are players and sex is just a game for them. Its up to you to figure out which. If he is pressuring you then I would say this is a ref flag as he may be a player. But it works both ways as there are women that use sex as a weapon (ex wife) and others that use it to string you along to stoke their own egos (attention whores). My one and only rebound relationship was like that. So it cuts both ways. Before I have sex with somebody I would personally like to know what their intentions are. Most of the time people will tell you this before sex. It's up to you to determine if they are telling the truth. If you jump in without knowing then you can only blame yourself. I expect a girl to make me wait a bit. Feel me out and find out my intentions first. Ironically my Fiancee had sex with me first night she came over. Blew my mind. But as a guy I was just happy to get sex regardless of what her intentions were. She did make clear what she wanted right afterwards though. And that blew my mind as well. Mind you that I had been persuing her for about two weeks prior but having sex with her just brought us closer to sealing the deal. I admire that your girl told you directly after sex what she wanted, I gather you mean a relationship? After I had got intimate with the guy concerned (he practically pushed me on the bed when he arrived and later apologised), I was very tempted that night to ask if there was anyone else in the picture and if we could possibly agree to being exclusive, but at the time I didn't want to scare him off and felt I should be patient, which I now very much regret because, to cut it short, despite us hugging at the door last time and him saying we'd definitely see each other soon, we ended up not meeting again, mainly thanks to another girl coming into the picture! Edited April 15, 2012 by goldengirl11
Mme. Chaucer Posted April 15, 2012 Posted April 15, 2012 Why is "oneitis" a bad thing? I don't get what's wrong with liking a specific person a lot, trying to woo & win that person, and not being after every other attractive one while you're feeling that way. Back in the olden days, when I was a youngun, it was normal to have "oneitis".
firehawk_1 Posted April 15, 2012 Posted April 15, 2012 since you are british, like me sadly, you should know that its all about playing nothing but games. at least he got what he wanted. you should have told him before and not just sleep with any guy (colleague or whoever else). you should really have started to date him before sleeping..... remember, you women do say you are not looking for sex and wont jump into bed... but you did (or so it seems) im just saying how it is! a man will commit if: 1) you dont play games 2) you dont be a drama queen and say "oh its too fast" when he is just holding your hand for heaven sake! 3) you are DEVOTED to him and DO NOT KICK HIM WHEN HE IS DOWN! THAT is the REAL TRUE test of a human being and what they would do in situations.
Author goldengirl11 Posted April 15, 2012 Author Posted April 15, 2012 Oops. Just tried to edit my last post but was too late. Sorry if repeated myself!
carhill Posted April 15, 2012 Posted April 15, 2012 I am intrigued to know if when you start having sex with a man is when they are most likely to commit, or not neccessarily? Depends on his style. If he is a recreational sex guy, commitment is in a completely different box and you have to access that box before any inkling of commitment will be considered. How do you access that box? Beats me. I'm a relationship sex guy but, as a man, understand how men process stuff in general. Reading the rest of your post, I'd suggest dating someone else, as well as develop some healthy platonic friendships with men. You'll learn a lot about them, as well as perhaps feel more comfortable within your own boundaries.
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