lonely_cat Posted June 17, 2004 Posted June 17, 2004 About two months ago My ex broke up with me saying that he was just not in love with me any more. Now to me this was a big surprise. He gave no real warning signs that would have made me think that there was even something wrong in our relationship. I will give a little info on us. We had been together for almost 4 years, living together for 3 years. We just moved in to this wonderful house together back in January. We had talked about get married with in the next year. At first when he broke up with me I had no idea why. I had to find my own place with in 2 weeks time. I did. and It is ok. But very lonely with out him. He still calls me everyday. I now know why it has happened. He ran into his ex girlfriend, the one before me that totally broke his heart. they were together of and on for about 6 years. I was the one to pick up all of those pieces when she broke him heart. I know in my heart that he never let her go. So anyways they were high school sweet hearts and when she turned 21 she turned in to a "bar fly" If you know what i mean. He caught her in bed with two of his friends. No joke! and that ended them for the last time. and then he met me about 6 months lather . Now almost five years later and for her about 90 LB heavier he dumps me blond blue eyes 5'7 125 Lbs for her. I just cant under stand that.n I know that he always had a thing for big boned women. I just was not good for him. So i guess when they ran into each other all those feelings were still very strong. He told me that he had to know if they were meant to be. So he dumped me and now he is with her. I am so hurt. Now comes the part I cant figure out what to do with. After everything that has happened I still Love Him So Much. She his new girlfriend when to Florida this past week with a bunch of her friends. Now remember she is the type of girl that cant be trusted. Ever since we broke up he has been calling me and text messaging me saying thing like I miss you sexy, I still love you, Can I see you tonight, I hope that I made the right chooses. Stuff like that on going for about 2 months now. So she is in Florida. He shows up at my house Sunday night and wants to talk with me. He says that he really ****** up and wants to know what he should do to make all of this better. I told him that I still loved him and that I really miss him but that there is no way in hell that I can ever get back together with him after what he did to me. Now that is what my mind told me to say but my body and heart said something total different. Now u can probably figure out what happened after that. So we have send the whole week together just doing things like it used to be. He tells me that he is going to tell her that nothing happened with me and him but that he just wants to be able to see other people, not to be in a relationship with anyone right now because he is so confused. I'm not sure that I want him to do that. I know in my heart that I still love him allot, but I'm not sure that I can forgive him for everything after his cheating on her with me. If he could do it so easily with her he could do it with me. I have also met a new guy who is great. He is a about 6 years older that me and has a 13 year old son. But he is totally infatuate with me. But I cant seem to get my ex out of my head. I am afraid to open my self up to someone else. I really like him but that is all i feel. because my heart is still suck with my jerk of an ex . So anyways I need help he is coming over again to night. I don't know what to say to him. I know that I cant continue being the other girl. I'm just not like that It is tearing me up. I fell bad for his new girlfriend , cause I know how I would feel if it were me in Florida and I found out what he was doing. I wonder if I should tell her. But then I will risk my friendship with my ex, not that there is any friend ship Please any suggestions will be so very helpful
lilac Posted June 17, 2004 Posted June 17, 2004 This ex of yours is having his cake and eating it too. If you know what I mean. He misses the girl in Florida and he knows he can fall back on you because you still love him and miss him. You say you don't want to be with him, right? Then don't talk to him, see him, answer his calls, anything. Trust me, if you do, you will get hurt in the end. Get rid of this guy...he isn't worth your time.
kirkyswife Posted June 17, 2004 Posted June 17, 2004 Lonely cat - you sound like me and this person I was entangled with for 6-1/2 miserable years. I was the doormat he stepped over each time he wanted to "come home" and here I was telling him no but my body and heart didn't cooperate. I'm going to tell you that I spent days, weeks even months crying over him or my misery over the relationship. Each time I mustered the courage to tell him to go to hell but the moment I saw him I was weak as jello. At the end of my 6 year ride through hell I learned that a man must EARN the right to my love. He must prove himself worthy of my heart and must exemplify a man of convictions. Love DOES NOT HURT - no mattet what anyone tells you - it just doesn't and if it does then you save yourself the nervous breakdown and hardening heart and leave that garbage where it lays. A real man who honestly loves you will show and prove his love and his worth to you. YOu will not need to give ultimatums or asert your intentions for there is nothing that he will not do to win your honor and love. That's the love you hold out for and anything short of that is UNACCEPTABLE. Be good to you Lonely Cat and run as fast as you can from this person because I see where it's headed. In the mean time, I send you peace and blessings and hope you find the strength to do what you need to do to for your life.
Author lonely_cat Posted June 17, 2004 Author Posted June 17, 2004 Thank You ladies. I really need to hear that from someone out side of my friends and family. I am tring to get the balls to tell him tonight, But should I do it in person or on the phone?
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