Atomic_Doll Posted April 13, 2012 Posted April 13, 2012 Hello Everybody, I met a really wonderful man about a month ago. The way in which we met really felt like a love a first sight--which is something I've never believed in. We were both at a restaurant, locked eyes, and he sent me the warmest smile--it felt like it penetrated my heart. I, of course, smiled back and felt immediately drawn to him and could tell he was drawn to me as well. When walking to be seated, I met his gaze again to see if the first time was a fluke, but he smiled again. I knew at that moment that I'd give him my number before he left--which I did. I think I kind of shocked him with my boldness. I wrote my name and number on a folded piece of paper, approached him, introduced myself and gave him my number. You could tell he was pleasantly surprised. Well he texted me...the next day. I casually responded and he asked he out for the next two days, finally on the third consecutive day I asked him to meet me--which he did. We had a great time and shared some major chemistry. Since then we've been seeing each other about 3 times a week and there really hasn't been a day without contact...till this week. Here's the disclaimer...his last major relationship was 5 weeks ago. They divorced and he moved away...several hours away to my town. I know that this is not the most ideal of situations, however, I really don't feel this is a traditional rebound relationship. It's not like I'm hunting for a man nor is he searching for a soulmate. I just met someone who I seem to really click with and want to get to know more of. I really enjoy his company and he shares the same feelings. Furthermore, he's already introduced me to his very close friends and his brother. He speaks about introducing me to his family--but he's not ready yet...neither am I, I mean I know it's only been a month but things seem to be moving quickly. He confuses me, though, because he frequently contradicts himself with his words and actions. On one hand, he tells me that he's not ready to date because of the recency of his break-up; yet we've been going out a lot. He tells me that "we're not "exclusive" but almost there." He says he wants to take things slow. Sometimes I wonder if he's saying these things simply to try and convince himself, or talk him out of some strong feelings he has for me. I really believe he's either fallen or falling in love with me. It's just what I feel. I know things are moving fast but again I believe we share a unique connection that there's nothing more I'd like to do but explore it with him. I have not put any pressure on him for a commitment or a definition of what we are. I believe that will come in time. In fact, I humor him by going along with the fact that "we're friends" even though we're definitely more than that. I've been very patient and understanding of his situation. I'm definitely not hung up on the label, especially with things happening so soon. Actions speak louder than words IMO. He has consistently spent his weekends with me since we've met, I've met friends who are like family to him, and I've also met his brother this past Sunday. This is the part that confuses me...I haven't heard from him since Tuesday. We're supposed to go out this weekend. I'm definitely not a bugaboo and do not blow up his phone with texts and phone calls. I allow him to pursue me. I'll occasionally initiate a text or a call but I let him initiate the majority of contact. Today I finally "broke down" and texted him a "I hope all is well with you" but haven't heard anything from him and that was hours ago . I do not plan on contacting him again until he responds. I'm so afraid of a fade-away from him. What is going on in guy-speak??? Thanks for your advice.
Author Atomic_Doll Posted April 13, 2012 Author Posted April 13, 2012 On second thought, I am going to call him tonight because he made weekend plans for us and I need to arrange for childcare...we'll see how this goes. Keeping my fingers crossed.
dasein Posted April 13, 2012 Posted April 13, 2012 I think you may be looking for reasons to initiate with someone who may not be quite ready for a new relationship, knows this, which explains some of the mixed signals. There's also a chance he is getting advice from friends and family to slow things way down, which could explain the lack of contact recently. There's no definite answer here, hope things work out for you.
Imajerk17 Posted April 13, 2012 Posted April 13, 2012 Hello Everybody, I met a really wonderful man about a month ago. The way in which we met really felt like a love a first sight--which is something I've never believed in. We were both at a restaurant, locked eyes, and he sent me the warmest smile--it felt like it penetrated my heart. I, of course, smiled back and felt immediately drawn to him and could tell he was drawn to me as well. When walking to be seated, I met his gaze again to see if the first time was a fluke, but he smiled again. I knew at that moment that I'd give him my number before he left--which I did. I think I kind of shocked him with my boldness. I wrote my name and number on a folded piece of paper, approached him, introduced myself and gave him my number. You could tell he was pleasantly surprised. Well he texted me...the next day. I casually responded and he asked he out for the next two days, finally on the third consecutive day I asked him to meet me--which he did. We had a great time and shared some major chemistry. Since then we've been seeing each other about 3 times a week and there really hasn't been a day without contact...till this week. Here's the disclaimer...his last major relationship was 5 weeks ago. They divorced and he moved away...several hours away to my town. I know that this is not the most ideal of situations, however, I really don't feel this is a traditional rebound relationship. It's not like I'm hunting for a man nor is he searching for a soulmate. I just met someone who I seem to really click with and want to get to know more of. I really enjoy his company and he shares the same feelings. Furthermore, he's already introduced me to his very close friends and his brother. He speaks about introducing me to his family--but he's not ready yet...neither am I, I mean I know it's only been a month but things seem to be moving quickly. He confuses me, though, because he frequently contradicts himself with his words and actions. On one hand, he tells me that he's not ready to date because of the recency of his break-up; yet we've been going out a lot. He tells me that "we're not "exclusive" but almost there." He says he wants to take things slow. Sometimes I wonder if he's saying these things simply to try and convince himself, or talk him out of some strong feelings he has for me. I really believe he's either fallen or falling in love with me. It's just what I feel. I know things are moving fast but again I believe we share a unique connection that there's nothing more I'd like to do but explore it with him. I have not put any pressure on him for a commitment or a definition of what we are. I believe that will come in time. In fact, I humor him by going along with the fact that "we're friends" even though we're definitely more than that. I've been very patient and understanding of his situation. I'm definitely not hung up on the label, especially with things happening so soon. Actions speak louder than words IMO. He has consistently spent his weekends with me since we've met, I've met friends who are like family to him, and I've also met his brother this past Sunday. This is the part that confuses me...I haven't heard from him since Tuesday. We're supposed to go out this weekend. I'm definitely not a bugaboo and do not blow up his phone with texts and phone calls. I allow him to pursue me. I'll occasionally initiate a text or a call but I let him initiate the majority of contact. Today I finally "broke down" and texted him a "I hope all is well with you" but haven't heard anything from him and that was hours ago . I do not plan on contacting him again until he responds. I'm so afraid of a fade-away from him. What is going on in guy-speak??? Thanks for your advice. My thoughts reading the bolded. That's a typo, right?
Yare Posted April 13, 2012 Posted April 13, 2012 Seems like you are delusional..you keep talking for this man, saying I know he is falling in love with me, he is trying to hide what he feels for me, I believe that we feel a unique connection etc...this is what YOU think..Eventhough he told you he was not ready for a relationship..He SAID you weren't exclusive..Let him be, and if he gets in contact with you, ask him directly what are his plans for the near future with you...If is not what you want to hear, walk away..This man recently got divorced, you will probably end up being a rebound girlfriend. good luck
Recommended Posts