BaconBaconBacon Posted April 12, 2012 Posted April 12, 2012 Ive been with my boyfriend for 9 months and were really close. And kind of have the same veiws on things. These past few weeks, though I've been really ultra sensitive and emotional because of some things going on in my family which he knows about. Well about 2 nights ago we were hanging out and I was ordering pizza on his phone. It glitched and I clicked his messages and saw that he was texting this girl. I freaked out; in past relationships the same thing kind of happened except they would be cheating on me with them. Anyways i confronted him and he said he loves me and he grew up with this girl (his explanation seems legit and I know when he lies) but it still felt weird but we went to sleep anyways. The next day I brought it up, and I was being kind of a bitch about it. I told him it made me uncomfortable and said if he loved me and respected me like I do for him he would stop talking to his friend every day. I said some other pretty stupid **** too, and I ended up making him cry. The way he looked at me after I said that stuff broke my heart.. I tried to hug him but he backed away. I kept apologizing about it and asked if we were okay and he said he didn't know and that he was sad because he thinks that I'm going to leave him and treat him badly. I feel so horrible I can't stop crying. I messed up big time. What should I do? I want to keep him around in my life.
Author BaconBaconBacon Posted April 12, 2012 Author Posted April 12, 2012 I came off as a super jealous person, which is totally not me. He said he doesn't feel like we're on the same page anymore and he said he feels like he doesnt know me. I really, really feel so horrible that I made him cry. I was just being really stupid and scared. Ive never had someone in my life as pure and kind hearted as him and I don't want to lose him but I'm afraid I'm going to. Please, please help me.
Author BaconBaconBacon Posted April 12, 2012 Author Posted April 12, 2012 Oh and when I say stupid stuff I meant nothing like calling him names or accusing him of anything or cussing at him. Just saying in detail what bugged me and that I felt like he wasn't respecting me for not talking to her and that she needs to back off and whatever... Still stupid.
ILL Posted April 13, 2012 Posted April 13, 2012 Don't worry too much about it. I'm a guy, so I think if he really loves you, he would definitely come back to you. Do not say sorry or apologies too much, guys do not like "SORRY" this word speaking from their girlfriend. Tell him something happened to your family, which makes you frustrated and you just lose the control recently. Everybody has some time like that. I do not think you are stupid too. Very few people can control that kinda of feelings. Just trust him in the future. Good luck.
prune juice Posted April 13, 2012 Posted April 13, 2012 i'd apologize but in a sincere way. just do it once.
Author BaconBaconBacon Posted April 13, 2012 Author Posted April 13, 2012 Thanks you two everything seems to be back to normal. We hung out and everything's just fine no akward nothing's or whatever. I just saw that the girl texted him again though, it gave me kind of an icky feeling. Am I overreacting? Guys should be allowed to have female friends and vice versa in a relationship... But what is being passive and where should I draw the line?
Jasra Posted April 13, 2012 Posted April 13, 2012 Don't worry about it. I can understand why it irks you a little, but just let it be. It's not like he's going out to dinner with her on a regular basis. Or spending hours on the phone right ? Just a few texts here and there. Opposite sex friendships are almost always odd, but sounds like this one is different if you made him cry telling him not to speak to her.
Author BaconBaconBacon Posted April 13, 2012 Author Posted April 13, 2012 Don't worry about it. I can understand why it irks you a little, but just let it be. It's not like he's going out to dinner with her on a regular basis. Or spending hours on the phone right ? Just a few texts here and there. Opposite sex friendships are almost always odd, but sounds like this one is different if you made him cry telling him not to speak to her. He hasn't, I made sure and the only people he usually calls are me, his family, and a couple of his buddies. He did say something about how when he was single him and his group of friends back in high school used to rent hotels on trips and have to share a bed with six different people, some being female some being male. It bugged me and I really hope he doesn't think it's okay to be sleeping in the same bed with another girl while he's in a relationship because that's just crossing the line. But when you say odd, do you mean good odd or bad odd?
Author BaconBaconBacon Posted April 13, 2012 Author Posted April 13, 2012 And I don't think he necessarily cried over the fact that I requested him to not talk to her as much, I think he cried over the fact that he thought I was not the jealous type initially, which I'm not. I'm just scorned lol.
Jasra Posted April 15, 2012 Posted April 15, 2012 I'd say you are reading way too much into it. Sleeping in the same bed ? Eh. If he's there with a bunch of other guys and a few girls ? So what. Unless it's some kind of crazy gang bang, which is silly, and highly improbable haha. Besides he doesn't do that anymore right ? So why worry about it ? Tone it down a notch lest you push him away fully. I'll not claim to be some sort of expert when it comes to relationships, can only tell you what I'd do. If you keeping pushing it, he'll just leave. Opposite sex relationships being odd. Odd meaning they're unlikely. Not saying they can't be had, it's just usually not done because things can get weird. But if he's known her for YEARS and is with you, wouldn't you think he'd have already tried for her before he met you if he wanted her that way ? I don't know. Just seems logical.
Radu Posted April 15, 2012 Posted April 15, 2012 You are jealous and he's a wuss for the way he acted (or very manipulative).
mixwell Posted April 15, 2012 Posted April 15, 2012 Did the txts contain anything to lead you to think he was anything other than friends with this chick ? I have a few females that are only friends and if I had a chick that I was dating go off on me for texting my FRIEND I would tell her to kick rocks. How can you even ask to not talk to his friend every day ? How did his phone happen to just glitch where it went to his txts ? Something doesn't sound right there. I could understand if the txts contained sexual connotations but just a normal conversation yeah you way overreacted. The only thing you can do is say you're sorry and really try to be more confident in yourself because what you did was very immature and insecure.
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