budley12 Posted April 12, 2012 Posted April 12, 2012 Im curious as to how many of you were able to be friends with your ex and how long it took to be able to reach this. I would love to be friends with mine, however when I see my ex I can't even talk to him. Today I ran into him and the new person and I hate the awkwardness. I hate seeing him on campus because it makes me want to try and mend things but at the same time running into each other and me ignoring him is probably just making this worse. Sorry for the rant, it just really upset me and I saw them together 20minutes ago and now that is all I can think about.
BewitchedandBothered Posted April 12, 2012 Posted April 12, 2012 Im curious as to how many of you were able to be friends with your ex and how long it took to be able to reach this. I would love to be friends with mine, however when I see my ex I can't even talk to him. Today I ran into him and the new person and I hate the awkwardness. I hate seeing him on campus because it makes me want to try and mend things but at the same time running into each other and me ignoring him is probably just making this worse. Sorry for the rant, it just really upset me and I saw them together 20minutes ago and now that is all I can think about. Why would you want to be friends with your ex? Being friends with someone who caused you pain and who makes you feel awkward is very odd to me. If he were a decent friend, he wouldn't make you feel this way. An ex is an ex for a reason; let them stay in the past. Wanting to be friends with your ex is hardly a consolation prize. 1
Author budley12 Posted April 12, 2012 Author Posted April 12, 2012 I feel that I am the cause of my own pain and suffering. Overall my ex is a great person and I was just expecting us to last. Im not making excuses for him ditching, lying, etc. at the end of everything but he was trying to let me go easy (which actually hurt me more in the end). But he is a great person and I miss hearing about his life. We had so much in common and we had a great time hanging with each other. I understand what you're saying, but we were friends before dating and we lived together in the dorms before we dated. I know that it would never be the same again, but I feel that by me ignoring him things will never get better between us.
BewitchedandBothered Posted April 12, 2012 Posted April 12, 2012 I feel that I am the cause of my own pain and suffering. Overall my ex is a great person and I was just expecting us to last. Im not making excuses for him ditching, lying, etc. at the end of everything but he was trying to let me go easy (which actually hurt me more in the end). But he is a great person and I miss hearing about his life. We had so much in common and we had a great time hanging with each other. I understand what you're saying, but we were friends before dating and we lived together in the dorms before we dated. I know that it would never be the same again, but I feel that by me ignoring him things will never get better between us. You would be okay hearing about his new life with a new person and how happy he is? Would you be happy if him, being such a stellar friend, shared with you pictures of them together on trips and maybe he will ask you to go with him to pick out some jewelry for her. I think your head is in the clouds with this one. You want him around because you have feelings. It won't work...because you have feelings. You have other friends. This guy isn't all that special or he would move mountains to keep your friendship alive.
Hol Posted April 12, 2012 Posted April 12, 2012 I am very good friends with my ex, we have been since he left. However, we do have a baby together so we need to be civil. It has been 3 months since we broke up, but 7 weeks since he left. Weve been getting closer recently, I think hes starting to swallow his pride tbh, seriously you need to see him! ButI dont think being friends with an ex is a bad thing, it just depends pn what the relationship was like before and why you broke up.
geegirl Posted April 12, 2012 Posted April 12, 2012 I'm not friends with my ex but it took about 6 months to feel indifferent when seeing him. Twelve months later, felt nothing even after seeing him with his girlfriend. If your situation was such that it was an amicable break up and he treated you kindly pre/post relationship, then you don't have to rush to be friends because when you're ready, you can reestablish a friendship. But if we unkind to you or not worthy of being a friend, then you're better off shutting that door. I'm still friends with my ex of nearly 20 years ago, because he was a sweet, kind and loving guy and it's a treasure to still have in my life. Pick carefull who and why an ex needs to be a friend. 1
Hol Posted April 12, 2012 Posted April 12, 2012 Sorry that message sent before I ended it. Anyway, you sound like you need more time to heal. You honestly get to that point where when you see him, it wont feel weird, you wont feel much. That is when you can be friendswith him, often being friends when you still have feelings can slow the healing process.
WildHorses Posted April 12, 2012 Posted April 12, 2012 I'm on good terms with all of my ex-boyfriends except for the recent one. I have no desire to see that NPD ever again, nor would I want to be friends with him. He did me dirty. Before that jackass, I dated a guy for 4 years. We were friends before we dated. We kind of just fizzled out. We remained cordial due to having some of the same friends and seeing each other out. We have been respectful of each other when we have been out with our friends. We have a pretty good friendship. I feel that this is a rare situation. If one of us dates again, I'm sure we will not be speaking to each other as often as we currently do, but we hold no ill feelings towards one another and just want to see each other happy.
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