xxSRMxx Posted April 12, 2012 Posted April 12, 2012 Today I became so inconsolable, hysterical and having allsorts of suicidal thoughts that my mom took me to the hospital. We sat waiting to be seen and she sat and cried with me. I actually felt kinda bad to see my mother crying. I sat and spoke with a psychiatric nurse for about an hour as she assessed me (if i needed locking up) some things she made sense, other things like ''your beautiful'' orr ''you will find someone else'' just made it all a bit painful, she said I needed to look after number 1 and that i will get better with treatment and that i am in the first horrible stages of grief. I did leave though with the feeling that, I need to turn a corner, I cant remain not eating and staying in my bedroom crying my heart out. They gave me a sleeping tablet to take tonight, and then i have the drs and an appt with a therapist tommorow. I just had a bowl of soup and will have some noodles in a bit, my first mouthfuls of food in 6 days. I..must...move...on.
robkris8079 Posted April 12, 2012 Posted April 12, 2012 one day at a time and make every little thing to make you better be some huge great accomplishment in your head and a step forward. **** yeah!!! you ate some soup! that is awesome, you're doing great!!! see what I mean. Not just saying that either it really is awesome. You must believe that. Tomorrow you eat more soup and add a little something like going out and buying a new shirt. Then again say to yourself WOO HOO, got me a new shirt and out of the house for bit. I bought socks and underwear for myself and it was fantastic! I'm glad I did that for myself. I even tell people I went and bought them and they look at me like why is he so happy about that. Another great thing is something my mother told me. When your cought up in your own life, problems etc just stop and take a second to ask someone else how they are doing. This worked for me pretty good. Sure the first few people I asked I honestly couldn't even listen as my mind wondered onto myself. But more I did it I started hearing what's going on with them. Sure their problems still seem miniscule compared to mine but I was talking to people and it had nothing to do with my ex or current situation. 1
Nightsky Posted April 12, 2012 Posted April 12, 2012 just keep eating food I know its a burden when you're really down but it will help. Also go out and get some sun for a little each day.
worldgonewrong Posted April 12, 2012 Posted April 12, 2012 I sat and spoke with a psychiatric nurse for about an hour as she assessed me (if i needed locking up) some things she made sense, other things like ''your beautiful'' orr ''you will find someone else'' dude, she was TOTALLY hitting on you! Did you get her number? (sorry, my man, just trying to throw some levity your way during a very, very trying time.)
Author xxSRMxx Posted April 12, 2012 Author Posted April 12, 2012 lol im a woman!!! soo no, dont think she was
BewitchedandBothered Posted April 12, 2012 Posted April 12, 2012 Today I became so inconsolable, hysterical and having allsorts of suicidal thoughts that my mom took me to the hospital. We sat waiting to be seen and she sat and cried with me. I actually felt kinda bad to see my mother crying. I sat and spoke with a psychiatric nurse for about an hour as she assessed me (if i needed locking up) some things she made sense, other things like ''your beautiful'' orr ''you will find someone else'' just made it all a bit painful, she said I needed to look after number 1 and that i will get better with treatment and that i am in the first horrible stages of grief. I did leave though with the feeling that, I need to turn a corner, I cant remain not eating and staying in my bedroom crying my heart out. They gave me a sleeping tablet to take tonight, and then i have the drs and an appt with a therapist tommorow. I just had a bowl of soup and will have some noodles in a bit, my first mouthfuls of food in 6 days. I..must...move...on. Ugh "you'll find someone else" is no consolation and that point is moot because you need to heal. I am glad you are seeking medical attention; you will get better. You just have to believe in yourself and know that no one is worth making you feel this way. YOU are the priority here. HUGS.
Author xxSRMxx Posted April 12, 2012 Author Posted April 12, 2012 No consolation at all... I need to just get to the end of this week then I should be progressing because next week I have a busy week with friends etc. I would like to finish with the crying part, I feel like im all cried out. but sometimes the tears just flow and they dont stop. Tommorows a big day though....first session with my therapist who knows I have self esteem issues etc. will be good to see what is in store..
worldgonewrong Posted April 12, 2012 Posted April 12, 2012 lol im a woman!!! soo no, dont think she was eek! sorry - I knew eventually one day I would confuse genders here on Loveshack. My number came up. Apologies again for the confusion.
Author xxSRMxx Posted April 12, 2012 Author Posted April 12, 2012 eek! sorry - I knew eventually one day I would confuse genders here on Loveshack. My number came up. Apologies again for the confusion. Its okay
Nohbody Posted April 12, 2012 Posted April 12, 2012 I don't think I ate a complete meal for about two weeks after I got dumped. Or anything for a week. You are going to get through this, with love and support you will be stronger for this experience. It just sucks a lot right now.
Author xxSRMxx Posted April 13, 2012 Author Posted April 13, 2012 I don't think I ate a complete meal for about two weeks after I got dumped. Or anything for a week. You are going to get through this, with love and support you will be stronger for this experience. It just sucks a lot right now. No food tastes good either, its all horrible. I wish I could trade hearts with my ex for one minute just so he could know the pain i am in. I just went for another walk, didnt clear my head I sat downstairs as opposed to my room, didnt clear my head I just eyed up a cable wire in my house and considered ending it all..... I WISH i could hate him, but hes a good man, I just drove his love away therefore i KNOW i have to work on ME as a person. I can happily SPEAK all these positive things, but im not FEELING them in my heart.
Nohbody Posted April 13, 2012 Posted April 13, 2012 Your feelings are all normal. I know - I've felt them and so have most others here. If you really feel like you need to talk to someone, you should call a crisis line (believe it or not, I still do on some dark and stormy nights) and that can be very helpful (and free - so it's kinda like free therapy). Repairing your heart and head is going to take time. You have time. Take it slowly and know that all of this is only temporary, no matter how horrific it is. 1
Author xxSRMxx Posted April 13, 2012 Author Posted April 13, 2012 Your feelings are all normal. I know - I've felt them and so have most others here. If you really feel like you need to talk to someone, you should call a crisis line (believe it or not, I still do on some dark and stormy nights) and that can be very helpful (and free - so it's kinda like free therapy). Repairing your heart and head is going to take time. You have time. Take it slowly and know that all of this is only temporary, no matter how horrific it is. Its funny you even say that, cus ive just been on the phone to a crisis line for 45 mins..when i was considering ending things i picked up the phone. thing is, i know this is temporary,but its been days now of extreme feelings of low, and each day is getting worse! I just keep looking at the time thinking this time last week we were absoluetly fine!!!!
Nohbody Posted April 13, 2012 Posted April 13, 2012 You only thought you were fine. Obviously, he didn't. I was right where you are a year ago today. It was horrible. And it only gets better after it gets worse, and it only gets better slowly. But the thing is... you keep getting better. And as long as you want to you will be better than you were before you ever met this dude. It's a bad pill to swallow, but you know that people care about you and this will make you stronger, ultimately. 1
Author xxSRMxx Posted April 13, 2012 Author Posted April 13, 2012 He knows that im going to be working on myself etc.....i know what went wrong in the relationship. I know my mistakes and he knows im starting therapy. and all he can say to me is things like ''We will be friends forever no matter what'' ''I pray we can get to the day where i can fully support you without feeling guilty for hurting you'' he just wants to get over his own guilt to make himself feel better, f*ck what i think.
Nohbody Posted April 13, 2012 Posted April 13, 2012 Then f*ck him. He's obviously a shallow person who only cares about himself.
tommycapnpants Posted April 13, 2012 Posted April 13, 2012 (edited) i know how you feel and where you are coming from. i visited a psychiatrist today. the first time i have spoken to one in a year. i am bipolar and have been trying to get along with life without any meds. but, now i realize that not being treated was the main reason why i have not been able to keep a healthy relationship going. . .the main reason my ex left. there was never anything physical, rather is was my insecurity that was enhanced by my dramatic ups and downs. i am not saying that you have any imbalances. but, therapy of some form or another does help. i already have a better sense of peace knowing that i am moving in the right direction again. my mistake was stopping all treatment when i felt great. won't make that mistake again. the suicidal thoughts you have had are scary, i know. but, it is our capacity to work through the grief that defines us. and creates a person who is completely beautiful and understanding, because there is nothing like being tempered in the fire. life is beautiful. Edited April 13, 2012 by tommycapnpants 1
Livin Lrge Posted April 13, 2012 Posted April 13, 2012 SRM.... We have all gone through what you are experiencing now.... I have done the not eating..... sleepless nights........thinking what went wrong, the cold sweats, tears, bad thoughts...... Ride it out for now..... It gets better... But here are things you can do to fast track your healing.... No Contact at least for five months........... never break it as it will only take the scab off and then your back to day 1 again... Buy this book "how to break an addiction to a person" good read and helps... you need to exercises to release the endorphins that make you happy.... this is a big tool in the recovery process... Talk to Family and friends..... Take one day at a time. When you think of the ex that is okay but if the thoughts last more than five minutes you need to start doing something to distract your brain. The good thing about the brain is that it only processes one thought at a time,. so keep it busy with different thoughts other than your ex... And remember if the Ex wanted to be with u they would be.... You will see the light at the end of the dark tunnel getting closer and closer every day... Just remember try not to make the mistakes most of us on here did and break N/C........ if there not at your door professing there love and commitment than don't even think of getting back together and if they do turn up on your door make them work for you... don't give it back to them so easy as most of us do... In the end if we make it to easy they wont respect us and they will leave again.... Take care LL 1
Recommended Posts