How to make her feel comfortable when we are intimate

[Jarrod18]

Ill try give a small recap. I have been seeing this girl for a little while now mabye 4th date. We have been really open/honest so far. She always seems nervous around me, and has been telling me that I do make her nervous but this could also be because she is extremely self concious(possibly low self esteem).

 

Long story short it can be a little arkward at times mabye because we talk about basically everything(after only knowing eachother a few weeks) but anyway. Last week she invited me out and I brought up the question if it was a date, I kissed her she said she liked me and it was a little arkward after that.Fast forward tonight movie night she comes over, we end up having sex it wasn't bad but we ended up stopping after a bit of time.

 

Anyway to my question. She is very self concious. I mean extremely. I think thats why she has never came before when having sex. I want to know how to make her feel as comfortable as possible when were close,I feel we could really have alot of fun together..sexually(but it seems a bit difficult if shes really preoccupied about it mentally). She doesn't really let guys go down on her she said unless shes drunk because otherwise shes really self concious about the whole thing.I mainly just want to make her feel really good(sexually), and usually I dont have too much trouble that way,but shes that self concious that I think it might be alot harder.

 

So any advice? I kinda want to get to know her body well, and I think I could make her cum eventually but need ways to help her not be so self concious about everything but not sure how to go about it.

 

Cheers

[Arabella]

I was in her situation once and a guy made me get over it. I kept not letting him do things that would be enjoyable but I felt self-conscious about.

 

He did not give into my self-consciousness. Instead, he kept trying anyway, and telling me how beautiful I was, how hot I made him, etc. It wasn't just words... he really meant it, and it was apparent. Eventually, I just started to believe him and let loose.

 

She is not self-conscious because she doesn't want you. She is just afraid you will not like her body. Dispel her fears by making her feel like she is the most beautiful woman to you, with both words and actions.

 

Unless she has some sort of past trauma surrounding sex, after some time and patience, you should start to see improvement.

 

Good luck,

 

-A

[Jarrod18]

Thats really excellent advice, I think its why we ended up being together,tonight(I was telling her most of the night howe much I wanted her,she turned me on ect) so mabye you could tell me , what were some of the things that dispelled your self conciousness?

 

Showing her that I want her? I am quite apologetic if I realise shes feeling uncomfortable, or self concious(which was because I tried or asked something with her sexually,nothing bad by me) mabye I should drop that? Just be patient and keep showing her that I want her, mabye you could give a few more examples to help me out ?

 

Thanks

[Arabella]

In my situation, I was just really self-conscious of my weight at the time. I never discussed it with him, but it must've been obvious to him.

 

When we began having sex, he would undress me slowly, caress and look at my body and compliment things he liked (even the ones I thought were ugly). He would focus on ME and neglect himself until I was so worked up that I would just dive into it.

 

Yes, it made me VERY awkward at first... but it worked.

 

Don't be apologetic, be passionate and unrelenting (but respectful). If my guy had even entertained my fears and insecurity, and given into them by being overly concerned, we would never have gotten anywhere. She needs a strong, gentle, guiding hand that shows her that she is feminine and desired.

 

-A