snir.isl Posted April 12, 2012 Posted April 12, 2012 My name is s' I'm 20 yo and so do my ex. Okay so ill tell you,(sorry for the bad English) My girlfriend and i were together for 2.5 years and we broke up because something that ill explain now. when we were together for 2 years we decided to go on a break to check things out and to test our relationship. while we were on a break i stupidly thought that it will be fine if i will kiss a girl and i misunderstood her true intention when she wanted to come sleep at my place because she lives very far and she said she don't have a place to sleep. when i told it to my girl she got very upset and was very hurtful and she didn't want to take me back but eventually we got together and things were awesome. after a month i started to feel strong fillings that my girl don't really forgive me and i felt like this for 4 months.I don't know why i didn't spoke with her and it was total mistake but i started to feel that I'm hurting her and she wont tell me.my mistake was that i started to think for her instead of talking with her and eventually i decided to break up with her in the feeling that she deserves more and if i hurt her i don't deserve her. after a day i found myself regretting cause i realized that if I'm hurt cuz I'm not with her and i can see that she is very hurt cuz i needed to tell her false stuff to push her away (like that i lover her and i attract to her but i don't find myself want to get intimate with her) which was things i didn't meant and it was very hard to tell, than what the F*** I was thinking to myself?! so i explain it to her and I've done all the wrong stuff(begged and a lots of texts) and she kept asking for time for herself cuz she don't know what she wants. last time we met we spoke to it and i explain to her everything and she says that for now its better for her to stay alone and she cant be with anyone not even me ,right now and she needs time to get over the things that said. she said she is not denying the possibility to start something new but not now...she don't know how she will feel in two months but right now she cant do it and we finished talking easily with a smile and happy holiday greets. next week there is a birthday party to a mutual very close friend and we discussed it and we know that we will meet.now i don't know how to act she is the love of my live, there isn't an option that i "let her go" or give up on her and what we have but i don't know to act. she asks for quite and i know this will interrupt at the party. i understood that i need to use low contact now (Because I Broke up with her)and if things to go on well at the party(I'm not going to ask her out there or talk about our relationship i just want to get close to her and have fun together without discussing our relationship...as friends if you call it like that.) and if things go not so well then start in NC for a month or so and try contacting her at the casual way like "how you're doing? hope you're having great time" text or something... help me here because there isn't a lot info about my situation i just know that i don't need to use NC straight away now...the party will interfere...and im the one how broke up with her and its not smart to use NC right now i think. we are almost 2.5 months apart and i really really wants her back and regain her trust and make her forget the bad things with new fresh memories and feelings. i love her so much i cant let her go because of my stupid brain and because of an lack of communication that i caused... please help me, s'.
Philosoraptor Posted April 13, 2012 Posted April 13, 2012 Well you seem to know what your issues were. I'm not going to comment on whether or not you should chase her, but I will say that you should work on making sure the things you see as issues never come back up in any other relationship you are in in the future.
black_shemer Posted April 13, 2012 Posted April 13, 2012 ,why there are many guys like you!who would sacrifice the 2 and half years of relationship just for another girl??just like my relationshp,were more dan 2years but he cheated so i broke up and now he wants me back. u cheated and now u want to regain her trust?if u really want her back,give her a break.but before that,u tell her u r willing to work things out but please make a sincere apology first for all the hurtings you gave her.and then give her a break.i hope this one will help u cheater.lol
Author snir.isl Posted April 13, 2012 Author Posted April 13, 2012 (edited) I didn't cheat her we were on a break we decided about it together..we got together after it...this is not the issue..the issue is the breakup now, not what happened a year ago...read what I wrote that happened a few months ago and why i did what I did and than you should answer if you want :/ i did gave her a break .. Almost 3 months and i did a sincere apology god knows i did...she says to me that she can't be with anyone right now and she afraids that if we return than maybe it will happen again after six months or something but she is also said she afraid that she'll get over it too late and I will move on or something will interupt....and I know I can't move on but i am afraid that something will change..some girl tried to kiss me last night and the moment I saw it coming I got up and went home because I can't..I don't even want a rebound :S I just want her cuz i never really wanted to break up... i love this girl so much and she is the most important person on earth for me... I cant forgive myself that i hurt her... please help Edited April 13, 2012 by snir.isl
Philosoraptor Posted April 13, 2012 Posted April 13, 2012 Well that needs to be your goal right now, self forgiveness. You were not together so that should not matter. Were there specific paramaters involved such as no seeing anyone else during this break? If not, you did nothing wrong. You were honest with your ex and she used that as a reason to end the relationship fully. If your feelings were correct she never found forgivness and held onto anger, which doesn't make the relationship easy. My ex kissed someone when we were apart before, I forgave her and let it go. It eventually ended, but I knew that if I could not let go of that then a second chance would have no hope. Thankfully it ended for good
Author snir.isl Posted April 13, 2012 Author Posted April 13, 2012 no we didnt set rules to not meet other people...she got upset because we were talking small talk about getting back together when that happened.. i know my feelings were right... and i dont think she dont want to get together now because what happened year ago... she claims that if i went and talk to her she would explain that its just my feelings and i am wrong about that... i miss her so much... what should i need to do to get her back and convince her that ill never let her go again???
Philosoraptor Posted April 13, 2012 Posted April 13, 2012 Well is it your guilty conscience or is she lying here? You tend to believe it's on her. If it is her issue then there is nothing you can do whatsoever. She needs to fix that before you could ever have a successful second chance.
black_shemer Posted April 13, 2012 Posted April 13, 2012 ,sorry i got ur story in wrong way. But if that is the case,why dont u tell her directly what u feel, just d way u r telling it to us.dont blame her for not trusting u because u already hurt her once. girls love chocolates even flowers will do.if possible,try kneeling to her (if you can dat will be much better)..f she still insist she want to think it over.den wait until u can.give her an exact question dat will make her answer yes or no only.keep posted dude
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