ChamaineMarie Posted April 12, 2012 Posted April 12, 2012 What are the signs a guy only sees you a conquest and not someone to take seriously?
FitChick Posted April 12, 2012 Posted April 12, 2012 Have sex with him right away. If you never hear from him again, you'll know.
Negative Nancy Posted April 12, 2012 Posted April 12, 2012 or the other extreme, tell him you won't have sex till marriage.
Mme. Chaucer Posted April 12, 2012 Posted April 12, 2012 So, what's the scoop? You have been carrying an "online only" relationship and now you are concerned about how it'll play out IRL?
zengirl Posted April 12, 2012 Posted April 12, 2012 I always looked for: *A guy who shows he cares about me as a person - takes an interest in your life, work, friends, family, interests, etc OVER TIME (any guy can fake it for a small time). *A guy who cared about my character as much as my looks. *A guy who wasn't rushing things physically or sexually and let them develop organically. *A guy who respected my opinions, but was happy to challenge them and disagree with me. (Some guy who's just trying to charm the pants off of you will often just agree with everything you say.) *A man who had a desire to express his personality, interests, and life to me in a way that was not salesmanship but was truly opening himself up to see if we were compatible. *A man who didn't seem sure of me off the bat and was investigating me as much as I was investigating him. This seemed to filter out men who wanted sexual conquests, social conquests, or trophy GFs quite effectively. Additionally, when in doubt, wait awhile to have sex. But don't be wishy washy about it or manipulative about it -- just keep the dates public and PG till you feel comfortable with someone in that way.
Mme. Chaucer Posted April 12, 2012 Posted April 12, 2012 Don't forget that there are other ways of making a "conquest" of a person than getting them in bed.
Author ChamaineMarie Posted April 12, 2012 Author Posted April 12, 2012 Mme. Chaucer, No I have not been carrying an online relationship. There's actually this guy i've been talking to for a couple of months IN person and we've seem to hit off right. But, the thing is, It just seems like he doesn't take me seriously. Like his idea of complimenting me is to call me "sexy"..NOT cute,pretty,etc..There's also the fact that his group of friends consist of nothing but players,womanizers,and the like.
Ninjainpajamas Posted April 12, 2012 Posted April 12, 2012 Mme. Chaucer, No I have not been carrying an online relationship. There's actually this guy i've been talking to for a couple of months IN person and we've seem to hit off right. But, the thing is, It just seems like he doesn't take me seriously. Like his idea of complimenting me is to call me "sexy"..NOT cute,pretty,etc..There's also the fact that his group of friends consist of nothing but players,womanizers,and the like. If you don't "feel" like he takes you seriously then why are you questioning your own intuition? you didn't just come up with it out of thin air, you're picking up the clues and queues that the guy is probably a douche, and yet his friends are players/womanizers and you still think what? he's just the "nice guy" out of the group here? I mean be honest with yourself, If the guy is making you feel a certain way already then what you think magically that's going to change? Talk about serious things with him, have a conversation about what he's looking for and interested in and whether he feels ready for commitment, watch him squeal in his pants with halfhearted half truths and unknowings, this guy doesn't like he's putting in the effort, being genuine and sincere and making you feel anything than a conquest. Just because a guy is nice or sweet, charming, whatever...does not in any way indicate his true intentions, that's what they use to get women like you in bed then disappear off the face of the earth when they're done with you.
bac Posted April 12, 2012 Posted April 12, 2012 What are the signs a guy only sees you a conquest and not someone to take seriously? The men treat every woman this way. Therefore, he has a history of conquests (ONSs). They are very proud of the ONSs and they might even mention the conquests if you date them long enough. They have very negative attitude towards women. They will not express that openly but it is easy to sense by their body language. When they look at your eyes for the first time you have a very strange feeling. At the moment, they size you up and already hate you as you are their enemy. Typically, they have good experience and therefore they always do the right/perfect thing. Great confidence is typical because they do not care for you and it is just a game for them. They would not pay much for dating but they can buy you cheap/or expensive dinners. They would not do things to please you if you ask them for something. They are often busy and unavailable. They typically talk about how wonderful/beautiful/amazing you are and stuff like that to speed up the victory. A real player will talk about love in a few dates if he still needs to get some benefits (sexual/or not sexual) from you.
somedude81 Posted April 12, 2012 Posted April 12, 2012 or the other extreme, tell him you won't have sex till marriage. Doing that would garner a very high number of false positives.
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