revenge, retribution etc.

[T.Rez]

Hello everyone, I'm new to this place but the reason why I'm here is because I seek advice and help from people who have been in similar circumstance to mine. I'm 19 years old (nearly 20) and I was in a long distance relationship for 6 and a half months. I'm live in London and my ex lives in Michigan. I've never met this girl in person so our relationship was conducted completely through the internet. It was my first and only relationship thus far.

 

During the time I was with this girl I fell in love with her; believe me I'm mistaking love for infatuation or anything similar, I loved and deep down still love this girl despite everything. During the course of our relationship she split up with me three times, each time she begged me to take her back. The third time she broke up with me I told her that it was the final time she would break up with me because I wouldn't take her back. For months this girl begged me to take her back, we still talked like we were boyfriend and girlfriend because we still had feelings for each other. After months of her begging me to take her back I did so on January 1st of this year. On the same day however, she dumped me again! I was dumped 4 times in a row by the same person but I still had feelings for her so I tried to keep as a friend because she was pretty much the only person I could talk to about anything. Last month out of nowhere she tells me that she has a new boyfriend, I flew off the handle and any chance of us being together is all but gone along with our friendship. I know I'm not completely blameless in this whole mess because I know its my jealousy that drove her away and ruined a connection that's very hard to find with somebody. The problem however is that I feel I've been wronged by this girl and I don't feel as though justice has prevailed. Everyday I have to think about this girl, about what could have been, but I also keep thinking about how I should get back at her because I as though she's has gotten away with making me feel some of the worst feelings I've ever felt.

 

The more I think about it however, the more I feel unsure of what to do. I know that I feel jealousy because not only is she in a relationship but she also has done and gets to do stuff with the opposite sex. I know having sex isn't as a great as its made out to be (or so I'm told) but I've never even so much as kissed a girl in my time here on earth and its not through choice either! You maybe thinking why not just move on, well the reason is because I don't know how to move on. I've had near to no luck with women and when you've had no luck with any women you start to develop all kinds of feelings that mess up your whole psyche. I am trying to move on because I want to be normal and I want to forget about this whole situation but I just can't.

 

I've been thinking about revenge, but I what I really want is to go to Michigan and confront her face to face she knows what she's done to me. I just want some advice on how people have dealt with the end of a long distance relationship. I love this girl and I'll never get to be with her and this is what it all boils down to. I know I'm not a good person because a good person what not think these thoughts. At this point in my life I'm unsure where to go and what to do. Do I just move on or do I try to get some justice to make myself feel better.

 

Thank you for reading what I had to say.

[Ghisop]

I am in my second ldr. I seem to find a guy then have to move for work- it sucks! But I will say that in ldr's - you develop a closeness more intense because you have to actually communicate to make up for the lack of physical. Trust is huge and you have to be very mature So when you break up it's almost more hard. My first break up i wa devastated and that's when I came here seeking advise and revenge. I know now that was silly. What you need to realize is that you never met this person and you became jealous. As a woman I would be very concerned. I think that if you flee there and showed up for a confrontation is a very bad idea and can get you in alot of trouble. Think how psycho that looks- I would be terrified. I think it's best to take this as a learnin experience and give some serious thought to going into another ldr

[HeavenOrHell]

How can people break up with someone they've never even met

Sorry but it's hard to take that seriously.

 

You said it's your jealousy that drove her away, which means you wronged her, so why are you seeking revenge?

And revenge is something only immature or spiteful people do, it's fine to tell someone they've hurt you/upset you but revenge is not ok.

 

Why would anyone want to 'get back' at someone they claim they love/d? Especially as it was you who drove her away.

 

My advice; get help for your jealous/insecure streak as it's not attractive and it might explain your lack of success with girls/women. It doesn't mean you're a bad person though. But you do need to let go of thoughts of revenge. How would justice make you feel better, you want her to feel bad to make you feel better? You know why she left. Can you blame her for leaving?

I doubt it was easy for her to leave.

 

Sex *is* as great as it's made out to be, with the right person/people, you'll find the right person when you are ready to be in a relationship.

 

Most of us in LDR's have met and built up a face to face bond/connection with our partners, so it's hard to advise how to move on from someone you've not actually met. Spending time with them and then splitting up is far harder to deal with. Not saying you can't be close to someone you've not met, especially if you skype/phone frequently, but it's not the same at all.

 

LDR's require a hell of a lot of trust, which is harder to do if you haven't met them, without trust they won't work.

 

Wishing you all the best.

 

 

Hello everyone, I'm new to this place but the reason why I'm here is because I seek advice and help from people who have been in similar circumstance to mine. I'm 19 years old (nearly 20) and I was in a long distance relationship for 6 and a half months. I'm live in London and my ex lives in Michigan. I've never met this girl in person so our relationship was conducted completely through the internet. It was my first and only relationship thus far.

 

During the time I was with this girl I fell in love with her; believe me I'm mistaking love for infatuation or anything similar, I loved and deep down still love this girl despite everything. During the course of our relationship she split up with me three times, each time she begged me to take her back. The third time she broke up with me I told her that it was the final time she would break up with me because I wouldn't take her back. For months this girl begged me to take her back, we still talked like we were boyfriend and girlfriend because we still had feelings for each other. After months of her begging me to take her back I did so on January 1st of this year. On the same day however, she dumped me again! I was dumped 4 times in a row by the same person but I still had feelings for her so I tried to keep as a friend because she was pretty much the only person I could talk to about anything. Last month out of nowhere she tells me that she has a new boyfriend, I flew off the handle and any chance of us being together is all but gone along with our friendship. I know I'm not completely blameless in this whole mess because I know its my jealousy that drove her away and ruined a connection that's very hard to find with somebody. The problem however is that I feel I've been wronged by this girl and I don't feel as though justice has prevailed. Everyday I have to think about this girl, about what could have been, but I also keep thinking about how I should get back at her because I as though she's has gotten away with making me feel some of the worst feelings I've ever felt.

 

The more I think about it however, the more I feel unsure of what to do. I know that I feel jealousy because not only is she in a relationship but she also has done and gets to do stuff with the opposite sex. I know having sex isn't as a great as its made out to be (or so I'm told) but I've never even so much as kissed a girl in my time here on earth and its not through choice either! You maybe thinking why not just move on, well the reason is because I don't know how to move on. I've had near to no luck with women and when you've had no luck with any women you start to develop all kinds of feelings that mess up your whole psyche. I am trying to move on because I want to be normal and I want to forget about this whole situation but I just can't.

 

I've been thinking about revenge, but I what I really want is to go to Michigan and confront her face to face she knows what she's done to me. I just want some advice on how people have dealt with the end of a long distance relationship. I love this girl and I'll never get to be with her and this is what it all boils down to. I know I'm not a good person because a good person what not think these thoughts. At this point in my life I'm unsure where to go and what to do. Do I just move on or do I try to get some justice to make myself feel better.

 

Thank you for reading what I had to say.

[T.Rez]

How can people break up with someone they've never even met

Sorry but it's hard to take that seriously.

 

You said it's your jealousy that drove her away, which means you wronged her, so why are you seeking revenge?

And revenge is something only immature or spiteful people do, it's fine to tell someone they've hurt you/upset you but revenge is not ok.

 

Why would anyone want to 'get back' at someone they claim they love/d? Especially as it was you who drove her away.

 

My advice; get help for your jealous/insecure streak as it's not attractive and it might explain your lack of success with girls/women. It doesn't mean you're a bad person though. But you do need to let go of thoughts of revenge. How would justice make you feel better, you want her to feel bad to make you feel better? You know why she left. Can you blame her for leaving?

I doubt it was easy for her to leave.

 

Sex *is* as great as it's made out to be, with the right person/people, you'll find the right person when you are ready to be in a relationship.

 

Most of us in LDR's have met and built up a face to face bond/connection with our partners, so it's hard to advise how to move on from someone you've not actually met. Spending time with them and then splitting up is far harder to deal with. Not saying you can't be close to someone you've not met, especially if you skype/phone frequently, but it's not the same at all.

 

LDR's require a hell of a lot of trust, which is harder to do if you haven't met them, without trust they won't work.

 

Wishing you all the best.

 

I didn't mean to make it sound like we broke up because I was jealous. We broke up because she couldn't handle the distance. It was in the months after when we still talked and if she said she did anything with another guy I would just fly off the handle. I know jealousy is wrong but I want people to understand why I felt jealous. If I were a baseball player my life would have been a constant strike out, the lack of any sort of real sexual interaction not only makes me sexually frustrated but also very jealous of those who get it one way or the other. I know its silly that I feel like this, but its how I feel and I want to address it some way. In addition to this, imagine that somebody you love very much is out there doing all kinds of things with somebody they've known for less time than you. I never got anything physical from our relationship and this what drives me to the kind of jealousy because I know somebody out there who has put less than a quarter of what I put into that relationship is getting the emotional and physical benefits of being with my ex. I only got the emotional which can only go so far. The only way that I can make my jealous feelings subside is by distracting myself with other women. But as I explained I'm not too good with women.

 

I'm stuck in a catch 22 and its really getting the best of me. I do suppose revenge would not make me feel any better but I have to find some outlet for my anger.

 

@Ghishop, I agree that is sounds psycho so I'm going to let go of that thought.