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Am I losing my mind? How to explain this.


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As you guys know if you read my novel on here, I was with a (suspected) Narcissist for 6 years.


He left me in February.


This is what happened today and I welcome all opinions on this!



Well, when my exN moved out on me, he left a few straggler items. It hurt to look at them, so I went through the bedroom and put the items (clothes, pictures) in a garbage bag, which I put into the garage.


I can remember opening the drawers in his nightstand, and I could have sworn they were empty. If they weren't, I'm very certain I would have bagged up whatever was in there.


So this morning, I'm making the bed. I go around to "his" side, and see the bottom nightstand drawer opened a notch, not closed all the way. It's full. I open it and I find 2 pairs of his sneakers, his 2 pairs of sandals, a shirt, sweatpants....




If they were there a few weeks ago, I would have put them in the bag in the garage, as I was trying to purge his memory, you know?


Now I can't change the locks (according to law) so there's a very small chance he would come in here when I was shopping out with the family, or something.... but one of the neighbors would have told me if they saw his truck here, unless they were all out too.


I feel like I'm losing my mind here. Would a N do something like this?

Is my imagination playing tricks on me?


I'm really puzzled and can't figure out how those things got there. Of course, I've been so out of my mind since he moved out in February that anything's possible.... maybe I did put those things in there? But I don't think so.


On top of that, if he came he would have TAKEN the rest of his things, not left things.

This is crazy.

And I haven't even heard from him.

Not any word at all since mid-march.


So why would he do something like this for attention when he doesn't want me? Could he have found out I was talking to other people?


Did he look on my computer?

Was he even here?


I seriously doubt he came here and put the things in the drawer, but then again, I could have sworn those two drawers were empty.

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  • 4 weeks later...

There's only two possibilities: you didn't see them initially or he put them there afterwards.


If it was the first, then wait and see if there are any other funny things happening that you hadn't expected. Also, how often before have weird things like this happened? Is it usual for you not to notice things? Just bide your time and see what happens (or not). No point getting paranoid about what might have been a lapse on your part.


If you really think it's possible he could have brought them in, then you need to be alert to further changes and maybe take steps to make it more difficult for him. Why can't you change the locks - does the house also belong to him? I would really check into this and find out if you can do it for your own personal safety.


There are things you can do. When you go out, put some fine powder (talcum powder?) just inside the door behind you. If there has been an intruder, it would show up. Make sure you lock everything. Put bottles on windowsills so windows can't be opened without someone making a noise.


I don't know how you can prove to yourself that you missed the items in the drawer. It's one of those impossible things. You can set up things so that any intrusion would be obvious though. That might give you some peace of mind. If he has been in, then this is an issue to take up with him and your solicitor, but you'd need to be able to convince the solicitor that you weren't imagining it.

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  • 2 weeks later...

Most probably you overlooked the drawers when you were cleaning the house. Stress and everything - no big wonder it happened.

But just to have a peace of mind now - I would change the locks. Legal or not. If he does not come to your home for whatever reasons, he will never find out and you will not have any problems about changing locks. If he does come - well, then the changing of locks is the very least you can do for your safety and whatever the consequences legally, those can't be worse than somebody with unknown intentions sneaking around your bedroom. I'm sure you can justify it later.

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