Arikel Posted April 14, 2012 Posted April 14, 2012 (edited) I have been considering the same thing after my breakup. When it comes down to it I realize that I don't miss her specifically as much as what she represented in my life. It's a shameful realization to come to and makes me wonder where my head was at but I can't deny it. This! After my breakup, I - Work out seriously 3 times a week, learning a martial art - Toned my body, getting the look I wanted but never had the time to commit, because I put my ex's times ahead of mine (I like working out really early) - Gotten a new job - Gotten a new place - Made time for friends, have made a few good friends now to go out with - Go out more, at least twice a month to explore new restaurants, pubs, bars - See my family regularly! - See my dog regularly! - Experiment a little with my wardrobe, dress up more and better - Discovered more about myself, what I want, what I like, tried a few new things which I would never have done before - Figured out OLD sucks, haha I want to thank Loveshack for helping me through a tough time! The advice I received here really made me take a look at myself and what I was doing, and what I needed to do Cheers! Edited April 14, 2012 by Arikel
Winning Posted June 12, 2012 Posted June 12, 2012 I've lost 14 pounds, 15 to go. I'm working out several days a week, alternating cardio and weight training. I'm getting muscles!!!! (I'm female.) I have excelled in my job. I have tackled my huge to-do list and gotten almost every bit of it accomplished. I've done some remodeling in my home. Thrilled with how it's looking! I'm working on figuring out me, to better be able to discern a good man. And not get caught with a not-right one again. Ever, if possible. Made new friends that I spend quality and fun time with. Started new activities via Meetup.com (very important, helps me get outside myself!)
Chi townD Posted June 12, 2012 Posted June 12, 2012 Hell, a lot of people know that I travel...A LOT!! and I'm doing things I never done before or would have never considered doing before. Like whitewater rafting and dog sledding....etc. Good thread! I like the positive vibe in here!
CopingGal Posted June 12, 2012 Posted June 12, 2012 Went back to writing in my journal Went back to school Started eating healthier Started walking more Started having a better relationship with myself
skyisfalling Posted June 19, 2012 Posted June 19, 2012 yay i love threads like this, it keeps things so motivational and inspiring. - Lost weight (aggressively hitting the gym everyday) - Clean my room and (throw away ex paraphernalia..) - Studying more (something i should've done awhile ago) - Trying to get involved with my community- church I feel so empowered to change myself and meet my next bf, wherever he is. Its been 15 days out of a 1 year relationship, but is it wrong that I'm eager to meet my next bf? Not sure if this is healthy, but I just want someone better in my life who can enrich me and share our passions together..
skyisfalling Posted June 19, 2012 Posted June 19, 2012 BUMP! this is a great thread, what have you guys done to empower yourself over a breakup?
LovelyDaze Posted June 19, 2012 Posted June 19, 2012 Since mine in 2009, I went through almost everything shown on the LS boards! Crying for days, breaking NC, having NC broken by ex, never believing it will get better, etc. I took a long break to heal, get to know "ME" and I felt free, happy & grateful I was no longer with someone who treated me so poorly. Now, I am dating a great guy that is nothing like my ex and that's a very good thing! We always think we will never find happiness after a break up but the truth is...you will. LS members were right when they said that to me, I didn't believe them until it really did happen. But you have to go THROUGH the pain and learn from the experience of what the relationship was.
skyisfalling Posted June 19, 2012 Posted June 19, 2012 Since mine in 2009, I went through almost everything shown on the LS boards! Crying for days, breaking NC, having NC broken by ex, never believing it will get better, etc. I took a long break to heal, get to know "ME" and I felt free, happy & grateful I was no longer with someone who treated me so poorly. Now, I am dating a great guy that is nothing like my ex and that's a very good thing! We always think we will never find happiness after a break up but the truth is...you will. LS members were right when they said that to me, I didn't believe them until it really did happen. But you have to go THROUGH the pain and learn from the experience of what the relationship was. Thank you for sharing that LovelyDaze. I love reading stories like this because right now, i feel so hopeless and really doubt myself that anyone can love me like my ex did.. but reading your story really inspired me it can happen..! I'm so over being miserable I want to move on and imagine my life happy again. Can I ask how long it took you to get over your ex and how long after that you met your current bf? Thanks in advance!
LovelyDaze Posted June 21, 2012 Posted June 21, 2012 Sorry that it took so long! I had a breakup in 2009, dated here & there with other guys for the next two years. A couple of them became brief boyfriends for a few months but I just "felt" that there was something missing. In 2011, I met a wonderful guy from my old college at his place of business by chance. We talked & laughed and he asked for my number before I left. We dated a couple of weeks afterwards and it's been a wonderful 9 months and he is proof that there are people who want nothing but to treat you right! If my current relationship goes south(hopefully not), then I know the lessons I learned here on LS will help me get through it. I took the advice given from my 2009 breakup and it worked wonders! It was hard to crawl through the hurt and the pain so much that I truly didn't want to wake up the next day. So glad I waited for a nice guy instead of clinging to someone who clearly cared nothing about my well being. Even though I am happy with this new boyfriend, I don't think "Ah, I am done with heartache!" I still look out for any red flags and warning signs that can occur. If they do, I will go complete NC, heal, and move on. I've learned you MUST be happy in or out of a relationship. Basing happiness on another individual will never work. Only we are in charge of our own bliss. I can't even begin to thank the many, many LS members who advised me with tough love and hugs. I stay here to pay it forward for people I understand completely:love:
lovinglife21 Posted June 21, 2012 Posted June 21, 2012 Lost 20 pounds- it was shockingly easy. Self- reflected, realised that I need to establish boundaries with bf's. Found all of my lost confidence. Started looking like 'me' again (my ex hated the way I dressed/ did my hair etc). Made me realise how lucky I am to have such a good relationship with my family. Felt free and liberated (before I felt like a caged animal waiting for the next attack) Still working on the 'total' happiness thing, but I completely accept it will take time. xx
DMS Posted June 22, 2012 Posted June 22, 2012 My biggest accomplishment has been losing nearly 40 pounds. I am back to where I was when we met. It was by accident at first. After she broke up with me but was still living with me I didn't eat much. Once the appetite returned I realized I had made a good start so I kept with it. The hardest part for me was cutting out sodas but since that was my new years resolution I really decided to hit it hard. Although I am not completely free of it as my poison of choice is still jack and pepsi I have cut it out everywhere else. It has saved me a lot of money as I used to go through a lot of soda every week. I also got back into a few hobbies that were not as available where I was living as it is now that I am back in Florida.
skyisfalling Posted June 22, 2012 Posted June 22, 2012 My biggest accomplishment has been losing nearly 40 pounds. OMG DMS! Were you starving yourself? How long did it take you to lose 40 pounds?
DMS Posted June 22, 2012 Posted June 22, 2012 To be honest I have only eaten 1-2 meals a day for a long time so I just made better choices. Couple that with getting back into bike riding when times were toughest and I just needed to get away and clear my head. I also worked for a short time in a warehouse when I got back to Florida ( which I got fired from last week after applying to my old job that I went to college for ) which helped a lot too. It took a little over 3 months total as the appetite really went away the day she broke up with me and I would go a day or 2 without eating.
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