fificremefarben Posted April 12, 2012 Posted April 12, 2012 The board seems a bit more full of sadness than usual these days (maybe it's just me?). Sooo...think positively! I know it's been said again and again but focussing on the positive outcomes of a breakup is the best way to get through it. So, what positive things have come out of your BU? What changes have you made for you? Me? I discovered that the gym is actually fun and I got contact lenses (something I've always said I would do but never gotten round to). Small changes, but great for the confidence! 2
SilverBlueAndGold Posted April 12, 2012 Posted April 12, 2012 Good post. I have reconnected with some friends that I drifted away from during our relationship. Since I got put on my back with bronchitis not long after the BU it's been tough for me to get out, but as soon as I am well again I plan on taking steps to get in shape and keep busy. So I am looking forward to that.
robkris8079 Posted April 12, 2012 Posted April 12, 2012 (edited) working out alot. Look and feel better then ever. Actually maybe too much working out as I'm under weight but I'm taking steps to correct it. I also filled out forms for motorcycle license and should be submitting them next week and taking class soon. I put up all new pics in my house, put down grass seed where the ex and I use to do our garden, transferred my high CC to a lower interest one and other steps to financially improve my situation like asking for a raise. Sure I didn't get the answer I was looking for but made me feel great manning up and asking. I also built up alot of confidence. I talk to people alot, even met a lady out for drinks. Started doing alot of things with my buddies that I haven't done in years. One other thing I did was buy new clothes and razors. I shave my head and would go few days all scruffy when I was in a relationship. But now I do it all the time, keep the head looking good and even got it nice and tan . Edited April 12, 2012 by robkris8079
brokenTom Posted April 12, 2012 Posted April 12, 2012 I've joined a church I wanted us to both go to, but she always seemed kinda turned off to the idea. I took in an OLD cat, in desperate need of a home. Volunteering much more then I used to. Meeting new cool people in the process. I've been eating better and overall in better shape. I've spent more time doing hobbies I love: making music, drawing, building furniture... I wasn't able to get NEARLY as much time when with the GF, especially music because her work schedule meant she was always sleeping during the time I'd want to take up the drums or whatever. I also had a long, deep conversation with my mom, and I never really did that before. We were both in tears, sharing some pretty personal stuff. It was very good. 1
Sophie99 Posted April 12, 2012 Posted April 12, 2012 Now I come to think about it, I've done some good things! I've rearranged my room and organised it all out I've joined a gym and signed up to some races Become closer with better friends
Babolat Posted April 12, 2012 Posted April 12, 2012 I work out 2 times a week now. I lost 30lbs without even trying (I was thin before) and I feel great. I changed my diet and I am eating healthier. I gave almost all of my clothes to Goodwill and have an entirely new wardrobe. I have reconnected with friends. I have numerous new hobbies. I have made new friends. I am volunteering more. I am spending more time with my family. I adopted a cat. And..I am happier than ever!
lalalandman Posted April 12, 2012 Posted April 12, 2012 Moved to LA, got a great new job, attending cross fit and self defense classes 5 days a week, got my own place, quit smoking on Jan. 18th, quit porn (lol embarassing), seeing my family once every 2 weeks. Made new friends. Noticing my flaws and working on them. Doing everything i can to move on and better myself. My sister is moving in with me in September. I want to help her jump start her life. Just trying.
Babolat Posted April 12, 2012 Posted April 12, 2012 Moved to LA, got a great new job, attending cross fit and self defense classes 5 days a week, got my own place, quit smoking on Jan. 18th, quit porn (lol embarassing), seeing my family once every 2 weeks. Made new friends. Noticing my flaws and working on them. Doing everything i can to move on and better myself. My sister is moving in with me in September. I want to help her jump start her life. Just trying. Ah, I forgot that one on my list, I quit porn too!
loveydove Posted April 12, 2012 Posted April 12, 2012 this is a great post!!! I have been working out, taken up yoga, reconnected with good/old friends, climbed a small mountain, spent lots of time with family, taken up guitar, read alot about psychology, and have recently begun to get my career back on track. Had a setback this weekend, but any prayers/positive energy is appreciated. I also started watching The Client List. I knoooww it's just a show, but it really takes my mind off of things and it is inspiring to see a woman whose husband just left her in a terrible spot rise above it and look hot while doing it....even if she is whoring herself...but anyways haha 1
january2011 Posted April 12, 2012 Posted April 12, 2012 Improved my diet, got back into exercise and increased my physical activity, started to do a lot of volunteering, took classes in a variety of subjects, tried yoga and tai chi, gained a vocational qualification, travelled, made new friends, re-did my house and de-cluttered so that I live minimally and focus on experiences rather than things, discovered new food and improved my cooking, updated my knowledge of technology, changed my style, tried online dating, met a guy and in a relationship.
WildHorses Posted April 12, 2012 Posted April 12, 2012 Great thread to start! My breakup has become such a blessing for me. This break up has made me do a lot of self-reflection. And, it was something that I needed in my life. I have finally focused on myself, my goals and aspirations. I have reconnected with friends I have lost touch with through this past relationship. I have been spending more time with my family. I have met some wonderful new friends that have meant a lot to me, have helped me through my break up. I found this website from a friend even. I went to see a therapist for some time to discuss the break up, and learn things about myself. I have reconnected with God. There is no negatives that have come from this break up. At first, my vision was cloudy, and I could not see the positives. They are shining through now. And, I would not trade where I'm at, to ever be in that type of relationship again. For the first time, in a long time, I'm LOVING being single. This is all about me now. 2
Hol Posted April 12, 2012 Posted April 12, 2012 I have lost 20 pounds. I look after myself more. Saving to move out. Bought loads of new clothes. Spent mor time with friends. Best thing about it all, my ex openly admitted that I look great. And tbh, he looks awful.
BewitchedandBothered Posted April 12, 2012 Posted April 12, 2012 The board seems a bit more full of sadness than usual these days (maybe it's just me?). Sooo...think positively! I know it's been said again and again but focussing on the positive outcomes of a breakup is the best way to get through it. So, what positive things have come out of your BU? What changes have you made for you? Me? I discovered that the gym is actually fun and I got contact lenses (something I've always said I would do but never gotten round to). Small changes, but great for the confidence! I am a regular member at my gym to the point where they joke that I should move in because I practically live there:) I also help organize charity walks/runs, baking just for fun and lots of spring cleaning-donating to charity. Got a fresh pedicure and got my roots touched up, too:)
immitable Posted April 12, 2012 Posted April 12, 2012 I am a regular member at my gym to the point where they joke that I should move in because I practically live there:) I also help organize charity walks/runs, baking just for fun and lots of spring cleaning-donating to charity. Got a fresh pedicure and got my roots touched up, too:) Bewitched, time to get rid of them hair rollers lol 1
BewitchedandBothered Posted April 12, 2012 Posted April 12, 2012 Bewitched, time to get rid of them hair rollers lol I may trade them in for a bouffant wig, LOL!!! 1
Babolat Posted April 13, 2012 Posted April 13, 2012 A common theme here is "taking care of me". Why do we let ourselves get lost in a relationship? Or, a better question is why do we let ourselves get lost in an unhealthy relationship? This post has inspired me to realize I have found the right relationship when I have that balance of me, her and us. And I do not feel stress and anxiety in the relationship. 1
SilverBlueAndGold Posted April 13, 2012 Posted April 13, 2012 A common theme here is "taking care of me". Why do we let ourselves get lost in a relationship? Or, a better question is why do we let ourselves get lost in an unhealthy relationship? . I have been considering the same thing after my breakup. When it comes down to it I realize that I don't miss her specifically as much as what she represented in my life. It's a shameful realization to come to and makes me wonder where my head was at but I can't deny it. So you are on to something there and I am hoping to use this as a learning experience for the future, while it's great to share your life with someone it's not so healthy to make them EVERYTHING. Because if and when they are gone I am left with nothing. And it scares me a little when somebody I am with considers me to be their everything...
Author fificremefarben Posted April 13, 2012 Author Posted April 13, 2012 I have been considering the same thing after my breakup. When it comes down to it I realize that I don't miss her specifically as much as what she represented in my life. It's a shameful realization to come to and makes me wonder where my head was at but I can't deny it. Bingo! This perfectly sums up what I've been realising lately too. I know that I don't miss him for him, because in the end he proved himself to be a ****ty guy and an all-round wrong 'un. I just miss the comfort that comes with having a "partner". It's ok though, cos now I have the gym and contact lenses. Win! Loving reading through all of these replies! Giving me some good inspiration for other things I might like to try. I found the "giving up porn" one particularly funny.
Nohbody Posted April 13, 2012 Posted April 13, 2012 Last summer I went to BOSS and spent 28 days outdoors. In a few months I'm moving to Japan to go train Judo at the Kodokan Institute for a year. I meant to go kayaking and sky diving, but I'll tell you - life sure does get in the way sometimes. 2
water4150 Posted April 13, 2012 Posted April 13, 2012 I'm post break up 6 months... The things I have done: - Work out a lot...at break up I was 128 (thanks to depression) now I'm 142 (thanks to being pissed off at the break up for 6 months (I'm 5' 6'' btw) - More focus on school...even though I never lost focused... - Found out all my issues of where I went wrong in the relationship - Made quiet a bit of new female friends (no desired to date any of them...I'll wait till I finish my degree) - Have a clearer mind set...if she comes back great...if not then her loss (she's struggling with life at the moment so I'm happy to hear that :D) - Eating a lot healthier and have a lot more confidence in my looks (Can't wait for the day she sees me where she can be all :confused: or ) - New clothes style (I'll admite I wear tighter shirts to show off my chest) - Possible seeking school counselor to get help with other outside issues such as stress and test anxiet (Nursing major kicking my butt left and right)
fucpcg Posted April 13, 2012 Posted April 13, 2012 (1) NOT slitting my wrists probably the most positive thing. (2) Okay and seriously, signed up for Special Olympics Coach, Chemo Pals, Gliding Stars, and rescued a few more stray animals.
HollyBolly Posted April 13, 2012 Posted April 13, 2012 I have picked up a nicely wrapped alcohol addiction, I think. Wait...is that positive?
coltsfan1 Posted April 14, 2012 Posted April 14, 2012 Things I have done. 1. I got 2 professional certifications. 2. Have gotten 12k in raises @ work. 3. Purchased my first home. 4. Been dating a nice girl. Things I want to do. 1. Quit smoking 2. Gain 20 lbs. 3. Purchase a new motorcycle 4. Finish my degree. 1
silkfox Posted April 14, 2012 Posted April 14, 2012 I've been catching up on all my reading. I finished that Hunger Games trilogy in a matter of two days, and am currently working through the Song of Ice and Fire series. There's no one quite like George R. R. Martin to help you realize that maybe your problems in life aren't that bad...
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