Can trust be rebuilt? After a bad breakup?

[sally1530]

Are their people out here who have stories of relationships being repaired after a really bad breakup and loss of trust? Is there hope that after no contact for several months that people can at least be civil to each other and not hate each other? Or is that asking too much? Any advice?

[kirkyswife]

Oh Sally these are good topics - glad I joined this board

 

I personally believe that once trust is broken it can never be restored and that's my personal feeling from personal experience. The slightest imposition and it drudges up old feelings and things you thought you had resolved weren't so resolved. So my answer is no - it can never be restored.

[sally1530]

I think it could be if it was infidelity issues.... then I think it could be worked on if both parties wanted it bad enough. I have a few questions that I want to ask the board, Ive been wanting to do this so look for another question coming up soon from me. I think you might have some good advice for it as well.

 

Thanks its so good to be on this board, and be able to get advice from folks with real hard experience in these matters. Thanks everyone!!!

 

So getting back to the question can you trust again after a breakup? Anyone out there with a positive outcome? How long did it take after the no contact thing was put in effect?

[vhshowdown]

I think the concept at work here is: You can forgive, but you can NEVER forget!!

 

So, you are right Sally, in saying both parties have to work at it. It can be overcome, its a slow process, but I think it can be done. I went thru something similar a few years back, and we lasted 5 years after getting back together. You realize your mistakes, you are more apt to make sure it doesnt happen again, etc....

[sally1530]

Hes the one who has done wrong and I am will to at least forgive right now so I can move on or at least have peace and he isnt even wanting to see or talk to me anymore. Oh, well his loss.... totally.