Babolat Posted April 12, 2012 Posted April 12, 2012 This is kind of a thinking out loud post, versus a question per se. I have had 3 great dates with someone who has caught my attention. 3 dates over 3+ weeks. We have plans for a 4th date. It's unusual for someone to catch my attention like this so she has me thinking. I tend to overanalyze to begin with...thus why I am posting. I am in my mid 40's, she is in her early 40s. I offer this inforamtion to let you know we are not young kids or in our 20s or 30s. We have both had long term relationships that did not work out. I have been married and divorced, she has never been married. In between we text, not a lot, not crazy all day stuff. Our texts sometimes share stories about our pasts, mainly our families and our values. It's actually kind of nice as we are learning about each other over text. We are not at the calling stage..it's really just been a date, schedule the next date over text, them some playful, flirty and discovery type texting until the next date. We really do not text or talk about day to day stuff..more deeper stuff, which I like so far. She has shared enough to the point where I am very curious and want to know more. By "more" I mean more about her growing up years and maybe a little more about her past relationships and what she is looking for in her next relationship. I am not one to focus on past relationships, get jealous and all that, though I feel knowing a little bit might tell me more about her. I mainly want to know why they did not work. I also want to know what her expectations are with us. It feels like we are getting closer, though I am not sure. It feels like we are getting close to being exclusive, though I am not sure. We have not talked about it. We have both said the chemistry is great, their is definite physical attraction and it feels like there is a deeper connection too. I do not want to freak her out. I am in no rush though I am working hard to control my emotions and thoughts. She is an independent free spirit type, which I am very attracted to. I am more conservative, though I have "her type" in me and feel, with her, I could explore and grow and "let loose" a bit more. Our energy is great, there is great chemistry and when we are in front of each other there are lots of laughs and smiles. I know every situation is different, I am just wandering, during that discovery stage of dating, when is it appropriate to ask more personal questions? Is it a gut feel kind of thing? The girl in my last long term relationship was not one for sharing information...one of my major frustrations. She was not shallow, she simply was not a deep person. She was more of a surface person when it came to a discussion. She would get mad and angry as I asked more questions and challenged her to think "why". I love a deep, thoughtful, "why" kind of discussion. I think part of my reservation to ask more with this current girl comes from my past relationship experience.
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