rbitrage Posted April 12, 2012 Posted April 12, 2012 Now that I have broken up with her (finally), I am quite amazed both at how things played out and how much I took from her. I suspect most people will say f**k it and move on, but I think if nothing else I am trying to figure it out so I can make sure I don't attract the same sh*t again. Summary: 4 month relationship, started off great and got pretty serious, and last month or so of absolute torture. Torture was she basically started doing a lot of flaking/re-scheduling etc but she was always the one asking me out in the last month or so. If she wasn't interested then why ask me out? If she wanted to be wined and dined then why meet late at a dive-y place when we had plans at a decent restuarant earlier. If she wanted out, then why not just do what most girls do, flake, not return calls, and never initiate. She's very reserved and a bit of a nerdy doctor type (but terribly sexy when she wants to be) so she hid her emotions really well. Very hot and cold (perhaps she was a psycho). Even when I did the speech that we should take a break because timing is just not good right now as she is prepping for an exam and so forth, her reaction was pretty underwelming. Have people encountered such situations? Where they don't want out, keep initiating to meet, and show lackluster effort to move it forward. I guess she just wanted to have the idea of a boyfriend but not really have one. Can't even say she used me for anything because I definitely didnt do the excessive wining/dining. I am pretty sure I got played but the amazing thing is I still have no clue what her deal was after the fact.
NeverDated Posted April 12, 2012 Posted April 12, 2012 Sounds to me like she wanted a relationship and either a) didn't want to prioritize it or b) was afraid of it. I don't think she was playing you - she was just really unstable when it passed the casually dating mark. Don't try to hard to figure it out. I was briefly with a guy who did the same thing. You'll lose your frikken mind trying to solve the Rubix cube, because nothing ever adds up.
FitChick Posted April 13, 2012 Posted April 13, 2012 If she wanted to be wined and dined then why meet late at a dive-y place when we had plans at a decent restuarant earlier. Sounds like she had a date earlier with someone else which would explain her detached attitude when you told her you wanted to break up.
Author rbitrage Posted April 13, 2012 Author Posted April 13, 2012 Nah...she was texting me the whole time from work so doubt that she was out with someone else. I mean I don't care about that to be honest too much because we had become pretty casual in the end (well I guess I wasn't so casual in my head) but it's more that she kept calling me every week to meetup and like a week ago was still saying, cant wait to see my favorite guy. It is what it is, but I've been out with the girls who don't want to meet up anymore or try to phase out without breaking up. This was a bit of both, seemed to want out and seemed to want to keep it. If i wouldn't text her back shortly she would be like, I thought you were ignoring me. Anyways, she had some serious commitment and intimacy issues I think, which maybe now she can figure out. She'll be busy for the next couple of months finishing up her residency and studying for a big exam anyways so the timing was off right now I realize I may never figure it out, but yes I am glad I cut the chord at this stage as opposed to later.
xpaperxcutx Posted April 13, 2012 Posted April 13, 2012 You were a convenience. You fulfill the emotional aspect of a " relationship " while at the same time she needn't put any effort into prioritizling u as a part of her life. People like her are consciously selfish yet has no remorse about using u as a emotional tampon.
Recommended Posts