tarabay Posted April 12, 2012 Posted April 12, 2012 So I've been talking to a guy for about four months now, and we have been on at least ten or so dates and always have an amazing time (we're busy and live far apart, but keep in contact through phone/text). I'm not really sure if we are 'dating' but he does always make plans to see me when I am in town. The thing is, I noticed in the beginning he would always mention random hot girls he finds attractive at work, or that find him attractive, especially one in particular. I just thought nothing of it at the time, and just thought he was trying to get a reaction from me. We've kind of progressed a little bit in our relationship now (I'd like to think) and I've mentioned that I miss him and done things here and there to show I care. We were having a random flirty conversation today about how I like a particular color on him, and quite out of the blue he mentioned that *same* hot coworker that likes it too, and then said he should try getting her number! I didn't know what to say, here I was trying to genuinely compliment him and he said that, I was hurt for sure. I started wondering whether or not he even likes me at all, but then stopped myself because I was being over dramatic... What's he trying to prove, anyway??
jobaba Posted April 12, 2012 Posted April 12, 2012 So I've been talking to a guy for about four months now, and we have been on at least ten or so dates and always have an amazing time (we're busy and live far apart, but keep in contact through phone/text). I'm not really sure if we are 'dating' but he does always make plans to see me when I am in town. The thing is, I noticed in the beginning he would always mention random hot girls he finds attractive at work, or that find him attractive, especially one in particular. I just thought nothing of it at the time, and just thought he was trying to get a reaction from me. We've kind of progressed a little bit in our relationship now (I'd like to think) and I've mentioned that I miss him and done things here and there to show I care. We were having a random flirty conversation today about how I like a particular color on him, and quite out of the blue he mentioned that *same* hot coworker that likes it too, and then said he should try getting her number! I didn't know what to say, here I was trying to genuinely compliment him and he said that, I was hurt for sure. I started wondering whether or not he even likes me at all, but then stopped myself because I was being over dramatic... What's he trying to prove, anyway?? I rarely find myself saying this to a female poster but ... dump him and forget him while you still have your respect. He doesn't care about you and he's obviously NOT A GOOD GUY. I'm not sure why you would even want to be with him unless you're not a good woman yourself. Sounds like he's a hot guy and he's got a lot of options and you're just one of those options. Welcome to the world of the average man.
betterdeal Posted April 12, 2012 Posted April 12, 2012 Might be worth telling him how you feel about this, especially when it happens, if you're comfortable doing that. Strange as it may seem, he may not be aware that you're not comfortable with this sort of behaviour. On the other hand, if you don't feel comfortable telling him (and I can see very good reasons not to be, such as not wanting to be potty training him in the ways of having a relationship, or avoiding tedious conflict) then ask yourself are you happy with the way his is and, if not, consider calling it a day. Then again, you might be okay with a booty call relationship, in which case, steer conversations away from anything too personal other than sexing each other up and use him for his cock.
HHC Posted April 12, 2012 Posted April 12, 2012 If he's talking to you about getting the number of another person you don't have the same view regarding the relationship. You're invested and he's not. You either need to have 'the talk' or walk 1
Leigh 87 Posted April 12, 2012 Posted April 12, 2012 You will appear like a door matt- a girl with no self respect; a girl with NO options.... If you do not flat out say " I deserve better than a guy who desires hot girls more than he does me - goodbye, I hope you are happy with the " hot girl" you find" DO NOT sugar coat things! DO NOT beat around the bush, saying " um, well, geez, I really like u, and it sort of offends me when u want hot girls numbers, um, sorry to be annoying, it just upsets me" Your acting pathetic if you do the last hing I mentioned.. Plz, be better then that.
Author tarabay Posted April 12, 2012 Author Posted April 12, 2012 thanks for the responses. You know, he mentioned getting the number of some random hot barista once too, and I told him, well then why don't you just go out with her instead?? He shut up after that and didn't bring up any other girls for a long time after that...and now this. You'd think the guy would have learned his lesson! I will perhaps try what you said, Leigh.
betterdeal Posted April 12, 2012 Posted April 12, 2012 Or you could talk about the hot guy whose number you got last night and how you'd like to do him. What's good for the goose... 1
Leigh 87 Posted April 12, 2012 Posted April 12, 2012 Can you PLEASe listen to me? I really want you to listen. I will be thrilled if you listen:) A LOT, in fact, MOST women that come on to loveshack, have little or no self respect; they are women or girls who let guys walk all over them. They are chasing men, who would rather be with other women. PLEASE - you need to learn to love yourself enough, so that you demand a guy who likes you and ONLY wants you. I do not think you realise what a propper relationship entails.. You want to be the only girl this guy wants. Correct? Tell him this, if it is the case. Tell him you want to be the ONLY girl that he wants. Also, tell him you need him to be totally SURE that he does not want other girls, besides you. Tell him that you are not seeking a relationship, with a guy who prefers other girls to you. tell him you have more self respect than to stay interested in a guy, who actually seeks out other girls, and gets their numbers. If a guy is seeing you, having sex with you, and considers you the girl he wants as HIS girlfriend... he will NOT GET other girls numbers... the fact this guy actually TELLS YOU he gets numbers of any other girl, means he does is not sure your the girl he wants more than any other girls. You like this guy enough to want him for yourself. You do not want him to like other girls, you want him to pick YOU to be his only girl. Look, there is no other way to do this: you have to simply ask him if he wants you to be his girlfriend. Tell him your seeking a relationship with him, where YOUR the only girl he wants. Absolutely NO women or girl, who likes theirself and thinks they deserve a good man, will put up with a guy they like, if he would rather get the numbers of other women. IT MEANS he has fun being around you, but your not enough for him, so he is still waiting to find the right girl, and is using you as a person he likes enough, but is not good enough to stay with in the long term. The thing is: there WILL be a man who thinks you are so great, that he only wants you. No other girl. Good luck, PLEASE come back and tell me what goes down:) Tell what u say to him and how he reacts. Remember, your so much better than a guy who treats you like this. YOu deserve a guy who just wants u, and does not even THINK about getting other girls numbers. Getting other peopels numebrs when your in a relationship is disgusting. Only jerks do it.
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