mortensorchid Posted April 12, 2012 Posted April 12, 2012 So I am trying to get back in the game again after being with the old boyfriend after 6 months. I wasn't in love with him nor he with me so I am moving on. I made contact with one who I don't think is going to make an effort to contact me again (see previous thread and I won't sweat it. So now... there is someone else who has made contact with me. We exchanged chit chat and now he wants me to send him a photo of myself even though I have one prominently displayed on the sight. I asked why he wanted to see another he said he wanted to see what I look like a bit better. I was remembering another time when I had exchanged numbers with another online a while back. We had arranged to meet then he wanted to cancel because he wanted to watch a basketball game on TV. I said ok, and he kept texting me that he wanted to see another photo of me. Finally I sent one of a headshot of me in the mirror after a haircut (not racy in any way), he texted back "thanks". Then I heard nothing. Months later he called a few times trying to get back with me. I said no thank you and hung up. I fear this is what this guy wants as well. What do others think?
Jane2011 Posted April 12, 2012 Posted April 12, 2012 If you only have one pic up and it's not a very clear one, maybe it's reasonable for the guy to request another pic. At the same time, I'm always annoyed when a guy on an online dating site is bugging me about pics. I was at one time on OkCupid with no pics up at all (yeah, I was one of *those* profiles). And a guy started talking to me and asking for pics. I kept thinking...stop talking to me at all. Go to one of the profiles that has pics; obviously I'm not that serious about being on this site if I don't have pics up. I wouldn't be surprised if the second guy you're talking about does the same thing as the first guy. Online dating is a cutthroat world, if you ask me. But you have to know that going in (and not let it get to you too much.) 1
oaks Posted April 12, 2012 Posted April 12, 2012 If you only have one photo on the site then it's either doing a poor job of showing your face clearly or a poor job of showing the general outline of your body clearly (because it's impossible to do both with the size of picture you can have on the site). I don't bother asking for extra photos because people don't respond well to it (as this thread shows!) and because, if I don't like what I see, I then have to send an awkward message and there's no way of dressing that up so that it doesn't sound like "thanks for sending your photos but I don't like how you look". I just skip to the next profile if I can't see that the person looks attractive and has a body-shape that I find appealing. I suggest uploading another picture! 1
phineas Posted April 12, 2012 Posted April 12, 2012 People ask for pics because people lie in OLD. They use old pics when they were thinner, younger, ect so I asked for recent pics because the one's on the site were strong myspace angles. I met two women off match. One was about 5yrs older & 30lbs heavier than her pics & the other was spot on. Granted I only asked for pics of women who contacted me first. As oaks said if I can't tell what you look like from your profile pics I just move on. Plenty of other profiles with clear pics. 1
phineas Posted April 12, 2012 Posted April 12, 2012 OKC is a free dating site, just like Plenty of Freaks. It means any halfwit can create a free profile - and therein lies the problem. There are certain guys that are "picture collectors." They don't really have any intention of meeting you nor putting any time or effort into possibly cultivating a relationship with you - they simply like to collect pictures. You say you already have one prominent picture on your profile - upload one more so you at least have 2 different shots for a little variety. Don't send these creepers ANY more pictures - whether they're G-rated or not. When I have freaks asking for more pics, I tell him the 4 on my profile are more than adequate and I don't send out pictures by request - nor do I give out my email address to creepers who refuse to put their pictures on their profiles but will happily 'email me one' if I provide my email address. Right, all men who ask for additional pics are CREEPERS. That just screams issues right there. Ever think that maybe, just maybe they don't find you attractive once they get a 2nd look at you? 2
gaius Posted April 12, 2012 Posted April 12, 2012 It's not a great idea to start out a relationship by giving a guy what he wants when he isn't giving you anything in return. If he wants to see what you look like a bit better he can set up a date.
zengirl Posted April 12, 2012 Posted April 12, 2012 If you don't have many pictures up, I suggest uploading more pics in general. When I was on OKC, I always kept my pic list full and updated at least one new one every month. I also dated the pics in the captions. (Some were a year or two old, but not ALL of them were, and I never used one that didn't look like me. Sometimes the hair was different, and I also noted that in the caption. I had at least one where I had no makeup on -- usually one where I was hiking or something.) However, I say never send additional pictures if you're willing to do that. It's reasonable for people to expect you to have an array of pictures up. I *still* had some guys who asked for more pictures. They got soundly ignored. Once, a long, long time ago I had that happen when I was on Match in college and went out with a guy who'd asked for more pics, and he was a shallow douchebag. That's not indicative of ALL guys who do this, of course, but it left a bad enough taste in my mouth. I've generally been skeptical of anyone obsessed with my looks for awhile now, though. That's not to say one picture is clear enough, however. That's why OKC gives you the space for quite a few. 8, I think? 2
Author mortensorchid Posted April 12, 2012 Author Posted April 12, 2012 The photo I have is a headshot, one that came out very nicely a few years ago. It is not blurry nor have I changed that much since it was taken. But I have a feeling this one wants the same as the one mentioned before and I'm going to forget him. It is annoying to have these guys asking for another photo and then they don't get one that is porn in any way when that's what they want. I am sticking to my old formula - if they haven't asked for a number or to meet within so many emails, it's just not going to happen. And if it doesn't happen, it doesn't happen through this website.
Babolat Posted April 12, 2012 Posted April 12, 2012 I will not meet a girl online without a full, head to toe body shot. I do not need to see skin, bikinis, hot dresses and the like. I just want to get a feel for their body type. That said, I did have a girl with no photos contact me once. We exchanged some emails, i told her I was hesitant since she would not put up a photo, she guaranteed me I would not be disappointed, we met, and yes, she was attractive. Unfortunately there are too many other options on these dating sites who do put up more photos. And regardless of what aynone tells you, male and female, the first thing they check out is the photos. I have met woman who had no clue what was in my profile and, when asked why, they said they liked my photos. So you simply need to decide if you want him to see other photos...more of you if you will. If not, move on.
Babolat Posted April 12, 2012 Posted April 12, 2012 The photo I have is a headshot, one that came out very nicely a few years ago. It is not blurry nor have I changed that much since it was taken. But I have a feeling this one wants the same as the one mentioned before and I'm going to forget him. It is annoying to have these guys asking for another photo and then they don't get one that is porn in any way when that's what they want. I am sticking to my old formula - if they haven't asked for a number or to meet within so many emails, it's just not going to happen. And if it doesn't happen, it doesn't happen through this website. Be careful with your formula....I made a conscious decision with a girl that looked like a great match to not meet right away..rather email longer. No personal emails either, only emails via the dating site, no texting either. I wanted to get to know her more before we met. And, when we met, there was great chemistry.
NeverDated Posted April 12, 2012 Posted April 12, 2012 You only have one photo up? You really need to put up more. I didn't keep a ton on there, but the ones I had were a wide variety of me only. The one I used as my profile picture that my photographer friend took for me - head to toe shot, very professional looking, and I got a lot of positive responses to it. Like others have said, the one photo profiles often get overlooked for ones with more. One picture can be "really good" and lie. Six photos from different angles/positions are more likely to give a good idea of what you really look like.
SJC2008 Posted April 12, 2012 Posted April 12, 2012 The photo I have is a headshot, one that came out very nicely a few years ago. It is not blurry nor have I changed that much since it was taken. But I have a feeling this one wants the same as the one mentioned before and I'm going to forget him. It is annoying to have these guys asking for another photo and then they don't get one that is porn in any way when that's what they want. I am sticking to my old formula - if they haven't asked for a number or to meet within so many emails, it's just not going to happen. And if it doesn't happen, it doesn't happen through this website. Good rule of thumb. 1 head shot, 1 full body, 1 with friends Have a newer pic then 3 years. Unless you are the female version of Dick Clarke he will know right away it's an old pic. The oldest pic I have is a year and I'm not to crazy about it. The newest is from NYE
Sith Apprentice Posted April 12, 2012 Posted April 12, 2012 Your profile should have a minimum of 2 photos. 1 close up of face and 1 straight ahead full body pic with no weird deceptive angles. Men are sick of fat chicks tricking them with face only pics and fat girl angled shots. 1
LexiB Posted April 12, 2012 Posted April 12, 2012 The photo I have is a headshot, one that came out very nicely a few years ago. It is not blurry nor have I changed that much since it was taken. But I have a feeling this one wants the same as the one mentioned before and I'm going to forget him. It is annoying to have these guys asking for another photo and then they don't get one that is porn in any way when that's what they want. I am sticking to my old formula - if they haven't asked for a number or to meet within so many emails, it's just not going to happen. And if it doesn't happen, it doesn't happen through this website. One photo, that's a headshot = suspicious. I'd think it was a fake profile or that you had something to hide. You shouldn't be surprised that men are asking you for more pictures if that's all you have.
RiverRunning Posted April 12, 2012 Posted April 12, 2012 Oh Lord, those types of people. One of my cousins has a friend (I know, bit of a chain, but bear with me) who goes on dating sites. Mostly, just to collect pictures of girls. He'll also often try to entice the girls to send him racy pictures of themselves. Once they do, he will tear apart their every imperfection (and I have seen this guy...awful teeth, very scrawny. Not a good-looking guy himself) and show his friends all of their pictures. Sad to see he's taking advantage of these girls. If a guy, in the first few exchanges, wanted MORE pictures of me (and this is if I didn't have photos that were representative of my looks, but if there's a decent body shot and a few head shots, he should have no issue), I'd tell him where to go.
oaks Posted April 12, 2012 Posted April 12, 2012 The photo I have is a headshot, one that came out very nicely a few years ago. Maybe he is suspicious that your photo is an old one.
phineas Posted April 13, 2012 Posted April 13, 2012 I will not meet a girl online without a full, head to toe body shot. I do not need to see skin, bikinis, hot dresses and the like. I just want to get a feel for their body type. That said, I did have a girl with no photos contact me once. We exchanged some emails, i told her I was hesitant since she would not put up a photo, she guaranteed me I would not be disappointed, we met, and yes, she was attractive. Unfortunately there are too many other options on these dating sites who do put up more photos. And regardless of what aynone tells you, male and female, the first thing they check out is the photos. I have met woman who had no clue what was in my profile and, when asked why, they said they liked my photos. So you simply need to decide if you want him to see other photos...more of you if you will. If not, move on. Bolded. I met two women from match.com & talked on the phone with a couple more & after their picture I actually read their profile. My profile was short & to the point. They were asking me questions which were answered on my profile if the bothered to read it. Maybe they were nervous? I didn't comment on it though.
Eddie Edirol Posted April 13, 2012 Posted April 13, 2012 MC you have to put a body pic up on your profile. You really dont want to meet with guys that wind up not liking what they see. No one likes being surprised on a date like that. To avoid the confusion of guys asking you for more pics, you really should put up a body pic, men want to know what they are getting before investing in conversation. Im pretty sure that the guys that are messaging you are not asking for racy pics, they just want to see what the rest of you looks like. Its not a big deal.
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