nowwhatnow Posted April 12, 2012 Posted April 12, 2012 he changed. thats all he said to me when he broke my heart and shattered my world 18 months ago. but i think i get it now. i hardly ever see him, but if i do, its like 2 ships passing in the night - and it saddens me. he is happier now. he is finally the person he always wanted to be, and he needed to be able to change. but i still dont understand why i could not have been there to watch him grow and mature with him. why didnt he trust me? was i not good enough for the new him? there are so many questions thats still plague me. i wish i had the answers, i just want to start being me again.
perryb13 Posted April 12, 2012 Posted April 12, 2012 he changed. thats all he said to me when he broke my heart and shattered my world 18 months ago. but i think i get it now. i hardly ever see him, but if i do, its like 2 ships passing in the night - and it saddens me. he is happier now. he is finally the person he always wanted to be, and he needed to be able to change. but i still dont understand why i could not have been there to watch him grow and mature with him. why didnt he trust me? was i not good enough for the new him? there are so many questions thats still plague me. i wish i had the answers, i just want to start being me again. Sadly, friend, the only way you're going to start being YOU again is to stop dwelling on him. I know it seems obvious, but you've got to force yourself to stop dwelling on thoughts your ex and how happy he may or may not be without you. I was the same way until just today, actually. I would always think that my ex is probably doing just fine without me and I'd always get that sinking feeling thinking about her being happy with someone else. She broke my heart by talking so highly of me and then turning on me as soon as I wanted to be my own person instead of just being her personal toy day and night. He broke your heart, and wanting him to love you again isn't going to make it happen. You've got to find ways to distract yourself. Talk to friends or family. I never used to talk to my parents about anything related to love or relationships, but they have been so encouraging I can't imagine not talking to them. Go out with friends, have a good time! Catch up on some reading, watch some TV shows on Netflix that you've never seen. Once you find that your life has a purpose regardless of who you're dating, you'll start feeling better immediately. I talked about this in someone else's thread, but you can't live for someone else. A relationship should be just that...a relationship. Not a reason to live. Because you're putting all of your emotional eggs in one very fragile basket. You're asking to be emotionally shattered if the relationship has to end for whatever reason. I'm not saying hold back in a relationship, I'm saying you've still got to live your own life for you, not for the relationship. Hope this helps. Feel free to message me if you need more help 2
Mr Scorpio Posted April 12, 2012 Posted April 12, 2012 he changed. to change. but i still dont understand why i could not have been there to watch him grow and mature with him. why didnt he trust me? was i not good enough for the new him? there are so many questions thats still plague me. i wish i had the answers, i just want to start being me again. You said yourself that he was the one who changed. If that is the case, why aren't you still you?
Author nowwhatnow Posted April 15, 2012 Author Posted April 15, 2012 im not me because i am not the same person i was before the break up. it broke something in me - something that i dont think i can ever fix. i was so happy and carefree and loved living. while now i do enjoy things more, i dont have the same outlook on life, im not as happy and carefree about the world. something changed in me and i havent felt like the me i was before.
The dot Posted April 15, 2012 Posted April 15, 2012 he changed. thats all he said to me when he broke my heart and shattered my world 18 months ago. but i think i get it now. i hardly ever see him, but if i do, its like 2 ships passing in the night - and it saddens me. he is happier now. he is finally the person he always wanted to be, and he needed to be able to change. but i still dont understand why i could not have been there to watch him grow and mature with him. why didnt he trust me? was i not good enough for the new him? there are so many questions thats still plague me. i wish i had the answers, i just want to start being me again. Most guys don't change that much over their lifetime. Chances are, he wanted something he wasn't getting out of the relationship (or didn't want something he was getting). He tried to make the best of what he perceived as a bad situation for a while, but in the end he felt he had to go. In these situations, right or wrong doesn't matter -- people just do what they feel they need to do. The longer he'd stayed, the worse it would have got, for both of you.
The Great Gazoo Posted April 15, 2012 Posted April 15, 2012 A relationship should be just that...a relationship. Not a reason to live. Because you're putting all of your emotional eggs in one very fragile basket. You're asking to be emotionally shattered if the relationship has to end for whatever reason. I'm not saying hold back in a relationship, I'm saying you've still got to live your own life for you, not for the relationship. So true but so hard for some people to do unfortunately.
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