veggirl Posted April 14, 2012 Posted April 14, 2012 I agree with gaius just change your lock. What a freakin jerk, he's totally stringing you along, I'm sorry. Change your lock and go No Contact!
Pierre Posted April 14, 2012 Posted April 14, 2012 You do not know this man. Three months is nothing and you do a poor job judging men.
Author Blackened Posted April 14, 2012 Author Posted April 14, 2012 You do not know this man. Three months is nothing and you do a poor job judging men. I've known him 20 years. I dated him when I was a freshman in high school. My parents thought things were getting too serious so they made me break it off with him. We both went on to marry other people, etc. this is a small town and we always ran into each other out and about. We worked the same job for a year together... a few months ago we ran into each other again, this time both single. He told me he never stopped loving me and we basically picked up where we left off in high school. Yes, obviously there's something I don't know. I have no idea what's causing him to act like this. But its rude to say I'm just a poor judge of men. That's putting the blame on me and letting him be faultless. Here I was thinking I was reconnecting with my first love. Him hurting me doesn't make me a bad judge of men.
ASG Posted April 14, 2012 Posted April 14, 2012 Clearly something is NOT right, so what about, instead of coming here to post about it, not knowing what's going on on his side, you TALK TO HIM? Ask him point blank. Tell him you know something is up and want to know what it is. If it can be fixed. If he is not forthcoming, then consider just walking away. But ask for your keys first, to make sure he KNOWS you're walking away. But for crying out loud, waiting for him to contact you when something is clearly up and coming to post on here about it is soooo passive agressive it's not even funny.
Author Blackened Posted April 14, 2012 Author Posted April 14, 2012 Clearly something is NOT right, so what about, instead of coming here to post about it, not knowing what's going on on his side, you TALK TO HIM? Ask him point blank. Tell him you know something is up and want to know what it is. If it can be fixed. If he is not forthcoming, then consider just walking away. But ask for your keys first, to make sure he KNOWS you're walking away. But for crying out loud, waiting for him to contact you when something is clearly up and coming to post on here about it is soooo passive agressive it's not even funny. I've tried, he won't tell me what's going on. In my update on the last page I pretty much summed up our last conversation. He told me that I didn't do anything wrong, etc... I don't understand how posting here is passive agressive. Its not like he's going to see my posts. I tried to talk to him, obviously he doesn't want to tell me what's going on. So, I stepped back and decided to let him come to me when he is ready. (My last contact with him was 24 hours ago.) I figured if I bug him and bug him it will just piss him off. I have enough respect for him to not be that way. I really want to text him now though... I will admit it...
ASG Posted April 14, 2012 Posted April 14, 2012 Well, he is just not being confrontational. I can tell you, I, for one, would not be able to "let him come to me". It's not about respect for him. It's about self respect for yourself. I know *I* would be freaking out, wondering what was wrong. I wouldn't be able to carry on with my day to day life without knowing. So I would do anything in my power to find out, even if it ment calling him and go and meet him, to find out. Yes, you did post an update. I know *that* would not satisfy me. I've had exes say everything was fine and nothing was wrong and then break up with me the next day or so. So yeah... Go talk to him.
spookie Posted April 14, 2012 Posted April 14, 2012 Any chance he cheated on you while you were away, and is trying to figure out how to handle it?
Author Blackened Posted April 14, 2012 Author Posted April 14, 2012 I just talked to him... he clued me in on what's going on. Its pretty bad, but nothing to do with me. I won't go into it here, but its a pretty serious issue and he's really depressed.
FrustratedStandards Posted April 14, 2012 Posted April 14, 2012 Huh? Either he is mad about you not calling the last few days (which is stupid) or he is cheating. Thing is, if he knew this night was when you were coming back, then why would he agree to help his friend move or watch his sisters kids? I think he is lying. For whatever reason he is upset with you, and the way he is handling it is so immature and stupid it's reason enough for you to dump him. ADD NOTE: Just read the above. I hope everything is okay, but I still think he handled it pretty badly.
ASG Posted April 14, 2012 Posted April 14, 2012 Glad you spoke to him. It's better to know what's going on than to be in the dark and obsessing over it. I agree that he didn't handle it well, whatever it may be, in regards to you, but I think that is something you guys can talk over, calmy.
Phateless Posted April 16, 2012 Posted April 16, 2012 I just talked to him... he clued me in on what's going on. Its pretty bad, but nothing to do with me. I won't go into it here, but its a pretty serious issue and he's really depressed. Sorry to hear, hope he's ok. He should have at least given you a heads up that he was going through something and would need some space to deal with it.
Leigh 87 Posted April 16, 2012 Posted April 16, 2012 I am sorry I questioned your level of self respect - it is all too easy to be harsh on people when u do not know their full story. It just sounded like this guy was not that into you, and yet u seamed to think he was worthy of a relationship, when he does not even want to see u after your on holiday? Clearly, something is up. If it is HIM and not YOU, he needs to sort out his personal issues. Once he is dealing with his life better, he may be able to fully give himself to the relationship. Sadly, if he continues to treat u this way, u have no choice but to: be miserable with a guy who will not treat you well OR: leave him alone, to deal with his personal issues, and find a guy who can give himself to u fully. He will have to eventually show u consisnatly that he wants to be with you, and that he misses you when your not with him for a prolonged period; that YOU are his number one priority, when you come home after 9 days. NOT his sister or watever else he did...
Author Blackened Posted April 16, 2012 Author Posted April 16, 2012 It's over... family issue was a lie. He just dumped me for another woman.
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