Blackened Posted April 12, 2012 Posted April 12, 2012 I've been in Europe for the last 9 days... my boyfriend and I talked on skype every day I was there except the last three days, when I called and didn't get an answer... but left messages. The last time we talked, we made plans to spend the night together on the night I got back (tonight.) So when I got back in the country he was the first person I called... no answer. And hour or so later I get a text from him that he is busy and will text me layter. He was taking care of my cat, so I texted him and asked how she was. He said, she's fine and he's helping a friend move, will talk to me later... A couple hours go by, I'm exhausted, and I decide I'm tired of waiting. I texted him and said I was going to bed... he said alright, he was busy helping out his sister. I said "8 thought you were helping your friend?" He said he was, but now he has to watch his sisters kids so she can go on a date. I said "ok well then I guess I'll see you whenever I see you." He says "yep," He made two pretty big messes here at my place when I was gone too... I told him about them and he applogized... I said I would clean them tomorrow. All he said was "yep." Ok... is it an over reaction that I feel crushed? I don't even feel like he missed me at all and even gives a crap that I'm back. Anyone wanting more details aboit my history with him, my last couple threads tells the story well. I'm typing on my phone so I'm trying to keep it brief... Do I have a right to feel this way?
gaius Posted April 12, 2012 Posted April 12, 2012 After 9 days he should be eager to get his hands on you, not watching his sisters kids so she can get some action. The whole moving/babysitting thing reeks of a dishonest blow off. The messes reek of passive aggressive hostility. Yes you have a right to be upset.
xpaperxcutx Posted April 12, 2012 Posted April 12, 2012 Bull... I would expect him to greet u at the door when you get home.
veggirl Posted April 12, 2012 Posted April 12, 2012 Did you ask where he was the last 3 days of your vaca when he didn't talk to you? I'd be really worried about that combined with not wanting to see you when you returned (his sisters date is more important?) and the "yep"s i'm sorry.
Wibbly Posted April 12, 2012 Posted April 12, 2012 Lots of red flags popping up based on what you said, unfortunately. Like xpaperxcutx, he should have been waiting at the door for you to arrive. It doesn't necessarily mean he's up to no good, as he could just be taking what he has in you for granted, but it's still not the right thing to do. How long have you guys been together?
Pierre Posted April 12, 2012 Posted April 12, 2012 OP Your BF is upset because you went to Europe on vacation. He is acting passive aggressive. Were you there with other males. Maybe he is jealous. 1
xpaperxcutx Posted April 12, 2012 Posted April 12, 2012 OP Your BF is upset because you went to Europe on vacation. He is acting passive aggressive. Were you there with other males. Maybe he is jealous. In what way could he be jealous if they talked everyday sibce she's been there? He mustve been paranoid then if he refuses to answer her calls.
Leigh 87 Posted April 12, 2012 Posted April 12, 2012 Either something is wrong, or your simply not in a loving relationship. If a guy really likes or loves a girl, he will miss them, and either meet them at the AIRPORT, or be at their DOOR when they get home from the airport............. Something is very wrong. I have not seen your other threads......... either your boyfriend is upset with you ( possibly he is worried about u partying with guys in Europe?), or you are simply not with a guy who likes u a great deal. Trust me; EVERY guy who is into you, WILL miss you if you go away. If they don't, they - don't love u - don't like u enough to miss u - are in a super busy job, like in the medical profession as a student or doctor, or a CEO of some company; THEN, they might have legit excuses to be super busy..........
Leigh 87 Posted April 12, 2012 Posted April 12, 2012 Mann... You need to tell him RIGHT Now: - I honestly think u will be happier in life, with a women who u MISS; a women who u race to see when they get back from a holiday. - it is stupid to be with a women who u do not even miss, when they go away. We both deserve better; I deeserve a guy who misses me when I go away and races to see me when i return; YOU need a women you MISS.\\ Seriously... WHY are you with a guy who does not even rush to see you when your back?
rocketman122 Posted April 12, 2012 Posted April 12, 2012 OP Your BF is upset because you went to Europe on vacation. He is acting passive aggressive. Were you there with other males. Maybe he is jealous. Bravo Pierre thats what I thought.
Leigh 87 Posted April 12, 2012 Posted April 12, 2012 OH.......................My God..... I just read your other post about him wanting to MOVE away, with a female friend of his that he barly knows, who TRIES TO HIT ON HIM. This guy does not love you. He is was madly in love, he would; not leave town and suggest that there was nothing there FOR him to stay for; if he HAD to move due to work or family issues, he WOULD NOT do it with a girl who HE KNOWS wants to sleep with him! You have NO self respect, probably because so many people have treated you like a piece of dirt. YOU need to take a stand. Get therapy, and, in the meanwhile, realise that you MUST DEMAND respect from people, because some people will not give it to u. F8CK them!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1 U should not give a person your time if they do not respect u. This guy does not love or respect you. His actions show this; indefinately. There IS NO way he can possible love you or badly want to be with you, in a relationship! In a relationship - the guy would not even think about moving away from the girl he loves, as it will be too painful for him to be apart from the women he needs to be with..............If it was urgent for work, he would insist on a long distance relationship, if it was not for too long, and he was seriously invested in your future. AND, he would see it as VERY innappropriate to move away with a girl who wants to have sex with him. - he would not just make a mess in your house and go " yep". He would RESPECT your house!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! - EVERYTHING this guy has done, ALL his actions actually PROVE without any doubt, that he does not love or respect you, and he has no intention of having a loving, healthy relationship with you. Please get help. Get into therapy now. I am about to start therapy, but I have way mroe self respect than you... That is one thing I have, and demand from people.... It SERIOUSLY saddens me to see women who come here so often, with NO SELF ESTEEM or self respect. YOu have no self respect; if u did, u would NOT be with this horrible jerk of a man. yuck:sick: Although a therapist will best help you, you need to learn that in life, you need to demand respect from people; u do this by being strong enough to ditch the people around you who do not treat you well. Good luck. PLEASE get help. You sound like a nice person who has a lot of love to give!!! Some lucky guy would be DYING to have you as his loving girtlfriend!!!!! You will love being in a healthy and loving relationship, I can tell:) If u get help and learn how to cultivate self respect and raise your self esteem, you will enjoy life and relationships SO much more:) It only gets better from here, if your strong enough and listen to peoples advice, enough to know u need help, and that life will get better once u get respectful people around you. 1
Lois Posted April 12, 2012 Posted April 12, 2012 You do have the right to be upset but unfortunately being upset won't get you anywhere. Finding a man who loves you, however, will. 1
Author Blackened Posted April 12, 2012 Author Posted April 12, 2012 Did you ask where he was the last 3 days of your vaca when he didn't talk to you? I'd be really worried about that combined with not wanting to see you when you returned (his sisters date is more important?) and the "yep"s i'm sorry. No I haven't yet... I was saving that question for when I saw him.
Author Blackened Posted April 12, 2012 Author Posted April 12, 2012 Lots of red flags popping up based on what you said, unfortunately. Like xpaperxcutx, he should have been waiting at the door for you to arrive. It doesn't necessarily mean he's up to no good, as he could just be taking what he has in you for granted, but it's still not the right thing to do. How long have you guys been together? We've been together three months but we've known each other twenty years. I dated him back in high school too.
Author Blackened Posted April 12, 2012 Author Posted April 12, 2012 OP Your BF is upset because you went to Europe on vacation. He is acting passive aggressive. Were you there with other males. Maybe he is jealous. This trip was planned before we started dating... I went there to work at a pretty big event as part of the acreditation staff. I stayed with two female friends of mine while I was there. I did interact with other males while I was there, but its kinda hard not to.
Author Blackened Posted April 12, 2012 Author Posted April 12, 2012 I read some of your past posts. Is this the same creep that was all gung ho about moving somewhere with a woman friend of yours because there was 'nothing there for him' where he lives now? You went on to learn they'd been in touch behind your back - discussing getting you to join a threesome with them and all kinds of other crap. Then, when he reaches out to you after you've been devastated by his bullsh*t with this girl, it's NOT out of concern for how you're feeling, it's to ask you if you can loan him some money! If this is the same creep, then I'm not surprised at ALL that you're not being treated with respect or kindness. I doubt he was helping a friend move OR babysitting for his sister. No, this isn't the same person.
Author Blackened Posted April 12, 2012 Author Posted April 12, 2012 OH.......................My God..... I just read your other post about him wanting to MOVE away, with a female friend of his that he barly knows, who TRIES TO HIT ON HIM. This guy does not love you. He is was madly in love, he would; not leave town and suggest that there was nothing there FOR him to stay for; if he HAD to move due to work or family issues, he WOULD NOT do it with a girl who HE KNOWS wants to sleep with him! You have NO self respect, probably because so many people have treated you like a piece of dirt. YOU need to take a stand. Get therapy, and, in the meanwhile, realise that you MUST DEMAND respect from people, because some people will not give it to u. F8CK them!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1 U should not give a person your time if they do not respect u. This guy does not love or respect you. His actions show this; indefinately. There IS NO way he can possible love you or badly want to be with you, in a relationship! In a relationship - the guy would not even think about moving away from the girl he loves, as it will be too painful for him to be apart from the women he needs to be with..............If it was urgent for work, he would insist on a long distance relationship, if it was not for too long, and he was seriously invested in your future. AND, he would see it as VERY innappropriate to move away with a girl who wants to have sex with him. - he would not just make a mess in your house and go " yep". He would RESPECT your house!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! - EVERYTHING this guy has done, ALL his actions actually PROVE without any doubt, that he does not love or respect you, and he has no intention of having a loving, healthy relationship with you. Please get help. Get into therapy now. I am about to start therapy, but I have way mroe self respect than you... That is one thing I have, and demand from people.... It SERIOUSLY saddens me to see women who come here so often, with NO SELF ESTEEM or self respect. YOu have no self respect; if u did, u would NOT be with this horrible jerk of a man. yuck:sick: Although a therapist will best help you, you need to learn that in life, you need to demand respect from people; u do this by being strong enough to ditch the people around you who do not treat you well. Good luck. PLEASE get help. You sound like a nice person who has a lot of love to give!!! Some lucky guy would be DYING to have you as his loving girtlfriend!!!!! You will love being in a healthy and loving relationship, I can tell:) If u get help and learn how to cultivate self respect and raise your self esteem, you will enjoy life and relationships SO much more:) It only gets better from here, if your strong enough and listen to peoples advice, enough to know u need help, and that life will get better once u get respectful people around you. I appreciate your effort here but the person who left town with my friend is not who I'm writing abouit now. I ended it with him when he told me he was leaving. I stopped reading when you told me I have no self respect. If you want to know more about my current relationship, read my incest thread or my thread about two cynical people trying to be happy. Those threads are about my current bf. I can't link them here because I'm on a phone.
Phateless Posted April 12, 2012 Posted April 12, 2012 Based strictly on not talking the last few days, blowing you off when you return, and the one-word answers, I'd say you need to end it because it sounds like he's avoiding you. How were the last couple of conversations on Skype before this whole thing started?
Author Blackened Posted April 12, 2012 Author Posted April 12, 2012 You do have the right to be upset but unfortunately being upset won't get you anywhere. Finding a man who loves you, however, will. Well I'm having a serious debate with myself right now about ending it... honestly if this was just some guy I met three months ago he would be gone over this. But since him and I have so much history together thatgs where the debate comes from...
Author Blackened Posted April 12, 2012 Author Posted April 12, 2012 Based strictly on not talking the last few days, blowing you off when you return, and the one-word answers, I'd say you need to end it because it sounds like he's avoiding you. How were the last couple of conversations on Skype before this whole thing started? They were great... we joked around and laughed, lots of I miss you, I love you, can't wait for you to come home, etc... that's part of why I'm so confused by his actions now.
Pierre Posted April 12, 2012 Posted April 12, 2012 This trip was planned before we started dating... I went there to work at a pretty big event as part of the acreditation staff. I stayed with two female friends of mine while I was there. I did interact with other males while I was there, but its kinda hard not to. Your BF could be a narcissist. Narcissist folks do not like the GF to have fun or be happy unless they are the cause of your happy situation. You were in Europe and he was not. He is acting like a typical narcissist. He is being passive aggressive with you.
Phateless Posted April 12, 2012 Posted April 12, 2012 They were great... we joked around and laughed, lots of I miss you, I love you, can't wait for you to come home, etc... that's part of why I'm so confused by his actions now. Bizarre... you don't have any clue what could possibly have set him off? My advice is to leave it as completely no contact until he calls you, then set up a meet to talk this out. Very strange. Even if something is bothering him, he should learn to act like a freaking adult and talk about it.
Author Blackened Posted April 12, 2012 Author Posted April 12, 2012 Well, almost 2 and haven't even heard from him... I wonder what the hell is going on. This makes me sad...
Leigh 87 Posted April 14, 2012 Posted April 14, 2012 I apologies! I thought u STAYED with that jerk who moved away with your friend. By the way, how did it turn out for them, did u hear? jerk, hope this guy treats u better. It is 3 months, but it is still off that he has not rushed to see you. There is only one way to see it; a guy who is truly into you, will want to see you right away, UNLESS he has a serious personal problem he is dealing with; then, he is just a messed up person who loves u, but cannot deal with his own issues right now.
Author Blackened Posted April 14, 2012 Author Posted April 14, 2012 I just want to post a little update here... I talked to him a little the night before last. He keeps insisting that I haven't done anything wrong and that everything between us is fine. He told me he misses me and he's sorry that things are this way right now. Then he told me we would talk yesterday when I got off work. So, I came home, got all dolled up, and sent him a text asking when and where he wanted to meet up. An hour later I got a text from him saying he was busy and would text me back in " a few." All I said back was "ok." I haven't heard from him since... Now here I am trying to figure out what the hell went wrong. How does someone go from madly in love one day to completely cold the next? I am mystified by his actions... And, he still has a key to my place since he was watching my pets while I was gone. That makes me a little uneasy. I know I need to get it back but I don't know if I should ask or just go to his place and get it... idk. I hate this.
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