mymission Posted April 11, 2012 Posted April 11, 2012 How do I go on when you're so in love with somebody that doesn't love you back? That doesn't even want to talk to you anymore? Its so frustrating when I know they've loved yme before. Why can't he f*****g love me again? How do I go on when the same things go round and round and round in my head? Imagining that they're in the bed next you? When I reminisce on all the good times over and over again. When I keep thinking of all their little mannerisms? When I miss them so much it hurts? When you know its your fault? I'm actually going insane, I've got no pride left I'm a wreck. How do I go on?
january2011 Posted April 11, 2012 Posted April 11, 2012 If the breakup/incident is still fresh then I suggest it's 'normal' that you're feeling this way and over the course of time, things will probably get less painful. If it's been a while, you might wish to speak to a professional to help talk you through your thoughts and emotions and help you build strategies to strengthen your coping skills.
gibson Posted April 11, 2012 Posted April 11, 2012 I feel that way too from time to time. What I found works best is to do what this guy says... 1
xxSRMxx Posted April 11, 2012 Posted April 11, 2012 I feel your pain, My ex doesnt love me anymore. he says I havent driven it all out of him but today i spent pretty much all day pleading for him to give us another try and I just got told no no no no. Pride = massively dented I think the last thing at night and first thing in the morning are the WORST times for this kind of pain. But please be assured, You are not the only one in the world going to bed with this sorrow in your heart. we will all get through this somehow and sleep soundly again.
Author mymission Posted April 11, 2012 Author Posted April 11, 2012 I've done nothing to help myself either. I've acted desperate and needy the whole time. Texting him and stuff. Begged for him back, told him I still love him. I can't help it though. Its when he ignores one of my texts which might be quite normal. It sets me on this chain and then I bombard with a lot of texts. He thinks I'm mad. I am mad! Tried NC I can't do it.
silkfox Posted April 11, 2012 Posted April 11, 2012 If the breakup/incident is still fresh then I suggest it's 'normal' that you're feeling this way and over the course of time, things will probably get less painful. If it's been a while, you might wish to speak to a professional to help talk you through your thoughts and emotions and help you build strategies to strengthen your coping skills. I'm quoting this because I actually can't get over how helpful you are, january2011. @OP: From personal experience, the less you think about it, the better you feel as time goes on. It sucks, and it's hard, but the trick is to act as if you're fine. Act as if life goes on (and it does). Date someone new. Force yourself to do something for you, and you'll find you have to "force" yourself less and less. You were a great person before this relationship-- get to know you again! I bet you'll find you're great company, and I'm sure your friends would agree with me.
xxSRMxx Posted April 11, 2012 Posted April 11, 2012 I've done nothing to help myself either. I've acted desperate and needy the whole time. Texting him and stuff. Begged for him back, told him I still love him. I can't help it though. Its when he ignores one of my texts which might be quite normal. It sets me on this chain and then I bombard with a lot of texts. He thinks I'm mad. I am mad! Tried NC I can't do it. Ive only managed one day of sucessful NC in a week...youre not alone! I am going to get help though and speak to a counsellor in the morning... maybe you should try and consider the same? what have you done since youve broke up? have u been anywhere new? met any new people? im not going to tell you to get a new haircut...i HATE THAT!!
Author mymission Posted April 12, 2012 Author Posted April 12, 2012 Yeah I went to a festival this weekend and I did actually manage to block him out of my mind. Maybe that's why it has come back to me 10X worse. First few weeks after breakup were awful cos I didn't have a job so I has nothing to do but think. I have a job now that keeps me busy sometimes but as soon as my shift is over its back to thinking. I've been going running a bit as well. But like I've said I've made it worse cos I can't control myself. I really can't go NC it doesn't happen.
Author mymission Posted April 12, 2012 Author Posted April 12, 2012 Thanks for the input everybody btw
xxSRMxx Posted April 12, 2012 Posted April 12, 2012 I could sit here and say u MUST remain NC.. (which you must) but then i should also consider following my own advice. I just looked back on your posts to find out a lil background... He lives far away from you, thats good....my ex lives in the city next to me so its good that i don't have to bump into him. I mean imagine if you had to see him everyday?? When you try to contact him, does he respond?
Author mymission Posted April 12, 2012 Author Posted April 12, 2012 Yeah I couldn't imagine having to run into him all the time. In the first few weeks he did respond yeah (albeit not very nice responses). But he ignores me more often than not now. But what annoyed me is that he text me when I was at the festival cos I was there with one of my friends that he really doesnt like. He asked me why I went with her. I told him that I can do what I want. But he ignores me most of the time and them he sends that. Weird. If its only been a week for you, you must be in that shock stage its horrible isn't it. I hope you're ok.
xxSRMxx Posted April 12, 2012 Posted April 12, 2012 What festival was this? (change of subject i know but your from england i just wondered lol) Ive just got out of the shock to be honest, theres no chance of a reconciliation so now its just raw grief, he said he would call me over the weekend to see if im okay. To be honest i think i might just turn my phone off and not bother replying if he does txt me. (yeah right!!!!!!!) I just did some meditation for the first time and it cleared my mind a little Try it. Constantly contacting him (espesh if he doesnt reply alot) is just going to destroy your soul
loveydove Posted April 12, 2012 Posted April 12, 2012 I don't know that this will help...but I'm in the same boat as you. It's been two months. I have obsessive, circling thoughts. I keep thinking there is something I can do, but I can't think of anything. My career is suffering. And his is sky rocketing. He says he loves me but is unsure if we are supposed to end up together and i should move on. It killllssss me. I want to die thinking about him seeing someone else. DIIIEEEE. He's been mine for seven years and all of a sudden I have to start from scratch?? F This!!!!!!!!!!
Author mymission Posted April 12, 2012 Author Posted April 12, 2012 I know but it frustrates me so much when he blatantly ignores me. I hate it. It wasn't a music festival, it was a hockey festival. It was basically 4 nights out in a row and then attempting to play hockey in the day. Just a mess around really. Yeah I get the obsessive circular thoughts. A 7 year relationship is a long time
fificremefarben Posted April 12, 2012 Posted April 12, 2012 It's been almost 8 months for me and I still get mad as hell sometimes because it was a tough and cruel breakup, for which I was not given all of the answers I wanted/needed. It does get better with time though, although the anger and pain has only dulled slightly, not gone away. I find the best way to get myself to get through the tough times is to just convince myself that I'm ok and slap a big smile on my face. I do this because otherwise I feel like I'll never get out of the sadness cycle if I give into it everytime it hits. I've spent enough time giving into it and it's pointless. Hey, I don't know if you're a Supernatural fan or not but I like to use this video for inspiration (skip to 1.56) Supernatural 7x11 - Frank Talks About Fake Smilling - YouTube "Decide to be fine until the end of the week. Make yourself smile. Then do it again the next week." 1
Author mymission Posted April 12, 2012 Author Posted April 12, 2012 Yeah I get that! Cos I decided to be fine all weekend and I was. But when I got back I allowed myself to sink into the thoughts again. Does just not letting yourself think about it work? Or does it come back worse later on?
Laveli Posted April 12, 2012 Posted April 12, 2012 (edited) sorry was trying to make my own thread Edited April 12, 2012 by Laveli
Author mymission Posted April 13, 2012 Author Posted April 13, 2012 Just wanted your input to see if trying to block out the pain works
budley12 Posted April 13, 2012 Posted April 13, 2012 I've done nothing to help myself either. I've acted desperate and needy the whole time. Texting him and stuff. Begged for him back, told him I still love him. I can't help it though. Its when he ignores one of my texts which might be quite normal. It sets me on this chain and then I bombard with a lot of texts. He thinks I'm mad. I am mad! Tried NC I can't do it. You can do NC. You just have to try and trick your brain as to how mad you are at your ex. I live on the same campus as my ex and i see my ex with the new guy all the time. Its very hard for me to keep NC because i see my ex so often. I have to say to myself my ex has a new bf. My ex knows how to contact me if they wanted to... so why bother? Nothing good will come of it when we still want our exs whereas they have moved on and are most likey in the honeymoon exciting phase of a new reationship. My advice and what im trying to do is better ourselves.... let us heal and become confident with being alone again. Stay strict nc for a long time (im waiting a year or if ex contacts me) and by that time we should be healed or be strong again and could possibly respark something with our exs.
Author mymission Posted April 13, 2012 Author Posted April 13, 2012 Yeah I know I need to. Its been 2 months now and the longest I've been NC is about a week. I keep thinking right thats it now stay NC. A few days go by and I can't take it anymore. It must be hard seeing him all the time Budley. I have the luxury of never having to see him. But I wonder if he did see me again maybe he'd change his mind. Wishful thinking I know.
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