Mr. NiceGuy Posted April 11, 2012 Posted April 11, 2012 (edited) LoveShack members, first I would like to say I have been reading many responses to peoples concerns on this forum. I can definitively say there are some genuinely great people here. I hope you guys can read this and either learn, laugh or even get upset? I would also like to mention that I have never mentioned a large majority of this to anyone close or not, just because I figured they wouldn't understand. However I just wanna let it out! If ya know what I mean. I'll try and leave the fluff out. So here's my breakup story, how it went downhill fast, and my recovery. I broke up with a girl I was dating on October of last year, we had been dating for 1 year and 7 months. I was 22 when we started and she was 23, were both 24 now. (6 months apart) I met this girl through a friend, we hit it off very well, love being together all that stuff, the chemistry as more than enough, so we started dating. A month in she lets me know she's an exotic dancer (stripper). At first I was like.. but I heard her out and I accepted it. She was obviously a genuine person and was doing it to pay her bills. Throughout this time this was the best relationship I've ever had. Her free schedule worked great with mine, she was super understanding, kind, and just a good person all around; and the sex was nothing short of amazing. Now 1 month before we break up I start noticing her getting more bitchy, and just have a huge attitude towards everyone, not just me, but EVERYONE. Her mom left back to her country and she was left alone with her sister to pay the bills on her apartment. I landed a sweet job and was making plans to move in soon, but still I had a feeling something was up. SO... I did the wrong thing and started looking through her phone because she kept having someone call her, text her constantly. To make it short, she had a client that was obsessed over her and she ended going out with once to dinner to just to get money, and THEN she went as far as to sleep with him for more money. Now the strange thing is, she has NEVER ever done anything like this before, and she has been working there for 3 years. What people tell me is that eventually that environment WILL change you no matter what. Some slower than others apparently. After I confronted her at first I forgave her and said we can work this out, since I knew this really was just not her acting normal. She was under tons of stress with money problems and I was being hesitant about moving in to help. Well, this kept on bugging me and finally, before I went to work in morning, I stopped by her house, collected my things, and said it was over. She asked me to reconsider, but I was mad and made my choice. Of course, as an indecisive human being I did reconsider, and told her I was coming over to talk. WELL, she wasn't there, AND she didn't appear till 3 am. She ended up going out with this client of hers and went as far to tell me that she was going to the Florida Keys with him for the entire weekend. THE GUY WAS 45?? I literally could not believe what I heard. For that entire weekend I moped around, cried, etc. and to make things worse my close friends went down there as well for Fantasy Fest. She completely cut of all contact and pretended like I didn't exist. Depression, moping and suicidal thoughts were obvious. No contact rule had already been going on since she cut off all communication and since I was already at ground level, all I could do was go up, slowly but surely. As soon NC past it's first month, I started making new friends, getting along with co-workers and lo and behold and started really getting interested in someone again. (Yes, even after the whole self-pity, no one will be good enough, I suck at, blah, blah, blah) This time it happened to be the accounts payable girl at my workplace. She was very sweet, we bought each other random gifts (which I had never experienced before with my ex)and was one semester from completing her criminal justice degree. A complete 180 from my ex. I lost interest for my ex, and realized she was not the girl I wanted. SO... my ex ended up emailing me for coffee after 2 months, and like a dunce I went for it. DOH! We talked, laughed and enjoyed ourselves. Before she left, she grabbed me and kissed me passionately... strange. She was very different, more provocative, and dry though. She obviously changed or was being affected by outside environments. (Which I later found out it was true because that 45 year old man was a sad, angry, womanizing man) Anyways, her new bf broke with her and ended up just wanting to use for sex and she was okay with it because she was practically in love with him. NOW the disturbing part is that for the next 3 months she led me to believe we were going to get back together, so I gained interest. My co-worker is a no non-sense type of girl and she immediately called it quits before it became official since she saw my ex back in the picture. (she really disliked her) So during these 3 months she was with this guy occasionally and mostly with me, but being intimate with both at the same time. Also I was being intimate with another girl as well, AND me and my ex ended up having a threesome with another woman. (Wow typing this just make me feel dumb) I was just so attached to her I didn't want to let go, and since she would literally tell me "I want to work things out" I couldn't help but believe it. There was lots of arguments, NC here and there but more importantly it was just torture on my self. I did learn A LOT in those few months though, mostly about sex though, if that counts for anything. So what's going on now? Well, she finally wizened up and realized this guy was just a womanizing, lonely man that was just using her. She called it quits on him AND then met someone else, her tattoo artist. The guy is actually into her and she is as well. This where I drew the line and I literally said **** this. (excuse the language) THIS happened about two weeks ago and let me tell you something. I feel like this monumental load is off my chest, I finally feel like I can actually "breathe" I cannot stress how important it is to work on yourself and be the BEST you can be before you are willing to meet the right person. The reason we broke up was most likely me being insecure towards the end of our relationship, which I now understand is the a HUGE KILLER with woman. No one likes insecurities, and I guess this older man knew this, he was very confident and she was attracted to it. Obviously i'm not 100% over this, I still think about her, but now it does not feel like a need and is shifting in opposite direction. I want to make it clear to everyone, you do not NEED a person to be successful, yourself, the best. Only you can make that happen, not someone else. Our brains can be huge jerks at times, clouding our judgement and acting irrationally. That's just it though. Since all of this I've already networked with old friends, started getting some work done on a business I have been yearning to start, and i'm just about to leave to talk to buddy about a possible hit iOS app. This is just in two weeks! I was never raised to like a woman of that nature, went to great high school, and both of my parents are married and happy. I definitely had my head screwed on straight for most of my life. I have NO idea what got into me. I was always pretty confident in my self, but after that breakup I was in a place I had never felt and honestly I was just WAY to exaggerated. However, now I have just begun to be more confident in myself than ever, and I KNOW it only skyrockets from here as well. Members, don't let those negative thoughts get to you. You will only limit yourself from wanting what you truly want! Edited April 12, 2012 by Mr. NiceGuy
BewitchedandBothered Posted April 12, 2012 Posted April 12, 2012 I hope you've been checked for STDs...
Author Mr. NiceGuy Posted April 12, 2012 Author Posted April 12, 2012 I hope you've been checked for STDs... LOL! I did a check up a few days ago. Not gonna lie, but I was scared of the outcome. 1
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