somedude81 Posted April 11, 2012 Posted April 11, 2012 No, cause that makes you friend material. It's possible to be BF material and get no sex while she paints one picture of herself to you while simultaneously keeping up her extracurriculars with the "non BF material" dude(s). Have been on both sides of that several times. Figuring that out when you are the "BF material" guy is not one bit o fun, like the first time you go to the fair and spend $100 trying to win a $5 stuffed animal. I think it's a mix somewhere. I've had girls call me BF material/relationship material whle they had no interest in sleep with me and I think it was all about the physical attraction thing.
somedude81 Posted April 11, 2012 Posted April 11, 2012 I know it might seem like I'm picking on you. I think what Jane meant by "good looking to me" is that she really couldn't care less if other women or anyone else found him attractive. Just as long as she's attracted to him the relationship works. If your w/ a woman, does it really matter how other people view her? If they think she is sexy, hot, pretty, or beautiful? Really? That's all, "good looking to me" actually means? No, if I'm with a girl, I don't care how other people see her. All that matters to me is that I'm attracted to her. Good looking to me is such a cop-out. And it really only means anything if the other person is actually not attractive. "She may be ugly, but she's good looking to me." And odds are the girls who are saying that they want a guy who is good looking to them, aren't talking about guys that most women would consider unattractive.
ThaWholigan Posted April 11, 2012 Posted April 11, 2012 The term "boyfriend material" has a particularly bad memory attached for me personally, as it is one of the few things I was insecure about quite recently (last few years). I've had a girl say that to me, while at the same time seemingly saying that she wouldn't **** me. Which was a little odd and very unnerving when she said it. After that, I decided to completely revise my ideas about relationships and dating, and now they are a lot more balanced, but with a slight touch of cynicism nowadays to keep me from being one of those "boyfriend material" guys who get to be the boyfriend everywhere else except the bedroom. That's what boyfriend material means to me when I hear it
somedude81 Posted April 11, 2012 Posted April 11, 2012 The term "boyfriend material" has a particularly bad memory attached for me personally, as it is one of the few things I was insecure about quite recently (last few years). I've had a girl say that to me, while at the same time seemingly saying that she wouldn't **** me. Which was a little odd and very unnerving when she said it. After that, I decided to completely revise my ideas about relationships and dating, and now they are a lot more balanced, but with a slight touch of cynicism nowadays to keep me from being one of those "boyfriend material" guys who get to be the boyfriend everywhere else except the bedroom. That's what boyfriend material means to me when I hear it Ah, I've been there. The boyfriend on the streets, but not in-between the sheets.
ThaWholigan Posted April 11, 2012 Posted April 11, 2012 Ah, I've been there. The boyfriend on the streets, but not in-between the sheets. Ah yes. The only difference is, the one window of opportunity I had to bang her.........I didn't. I chickened. She did say she was seeing someone (although as it turned out, not for very long), but I didn't feel very comfortable with that knowledge. But when I think back, she definitely was waiting for me to at least kiss her and give her a feel-up or some tops'n'fingers . It was after that, she said what she said about "boyfriend material". I guess that was my fault. Because really and truly, if I was more bold, I would have absolutely ****ed her into orbit, virgin or no virgin . But I guess spooning her in bed while she wiggled her ass on my cock and placed my hand on her breast while I was asleep - and NOT DOING ANYTHING ABOUT IT, was the quintessential act of a naive virgin . NEVER AGAIN!!!!!! But, as I said in the other thread - not meant to happen. At least not now anyway. 1
somedude81 Posted April 11, 2012 Posted April 11, 2012 Ah yes. The only difference is, the one window of opportunity I had to bang her.........I didn't. I chickened. She did say she was seeing someone (although as it turned out, not for very long), but I didn't feel very comfortable with that knowledge. But when I think back, she definitely was waiting for me to at least kiss her and give her a feel-up or some tops'n'fingers . It was after that, she said what she said about "boyfriend material". I guess that was my fault. Because really and truly, if I was more bold, I would have absolutely ****ed her into orbit, virgin or no virgin . But I guess spooning her in bed while she wiggled her ass on my cock and placed my hand on her breast while I was asleep - and NOT DOING ANYTHING ABOUT IT, was the quintessential act of a naive virgin . NEVER AGAIN!!!!!! But, as I said in the other thread - not meant to happen. At least not now anyway. Yeah, that's pretty pathetic. At least you learned your lesson. I've never had anything remotely close to a situation like that happen to me.
KR10N Posted April 11, 2012 Posted April 11, 2012 Really? That's all, "good looking to me" actually means? No, if I'm with a girl, I don't care how other people see her. All that matters to me is that I'm attracted to her. Good looking to me is such a cop-out. And it really only means anything if the other person is actually not attractive. "She may be ugly, but she's good looking to me." And odds are the girls who are saying that they want a guy who is good looking to them, aren't talking about guys that most women would consider unattractive.No one has ever told you that you're good looking, huh?
ThaWholigan Posted April 11, 2012 Posted April 11, 2012 Yeah, that's pretty pathetic. At least you learned your lesson. I've never had anything remotely close to a situation like that happen to me. It was pathetic. I mean, I can laugh about it now, but that sudden realization that came months after this happened was like a blow to the balls. There I was, in bed with the hottest girl I'd ever met, and I chickened like a punk bitch . She even got mad and went to sleep! And even the way she told her dad that I was leaving when I never said I was....she basically kicked me out!! I don't think I could ever realistically try to date her - she will always see me as that fumbly guy who she thinks is kinda hot but is stupid enough to not **** her when she gave me a chance. Like I said, I learned a lot from that girl lol. At a price of course, but is there a better way? Besides, I wouldn't have that funny ass story to tell. That week was interesting to say the least. So when your "boyfriend material" remember to take it up a notch when you're with a girl, then you can become "boyfriend who ****s his girlfriend material"
somedude81 Posted April 11, 2012 Posted April 11, 2012 No one has ever told you that you're good looking, huh? I have been told that on rare occasions but I guess it was not enough to overcome my lack of being tall or whatever girls need in a guy in order to want to sleep with him. 1
KR10N Posted April 11, 2012 Posted April 11, 2012 I have been told that on rare occasions but I guess it was not enough to overcome my lack of being tall or whatever girls need in a guy in order to want to sleep with him.Hm... Makes me think of really short women w/ friggen huge guys. I can only imagine that during sex, they look really odd. When I say huge, I mean really f***ing tall!
somedude81 Posted April 12, 2012 Posted April 12, 2012 BTW, I'm white and 5'6. I'm really not that short. But apparently it's not a little deal to most women...
KR10N Posted April 12, 2012 Posted April 12, 2012 BTW, I'm white and 5'6. I'm really not that short. But apparently it's not a little deal to most women...Well, I'm 5'9" and all I hear form men is how they like really short women.
somedude81 Posted April 12, 2012 Posted April 12, 2012 Well, I'm 5'9" and all I hear form men is how they like really short women. But have you ever had trouble getting a guy? Or any trouble at all getting a guy you wanted?
KR10N Posted April 12, 2012 Posted April 12, 2012 But have you ever had trouble getting a guy? Or any trouble at all getting a guy you wanted?I haven't tried. Don't feel the need to. Just saying that women can, at times, have it just as bad as men in the height department.
ThaWholigan Posted April 12, 2012 Posted April 12, 2012 I haven't tried. Don't feel the need to. Just saying that women can, at times, have it just as bad as men in the height department. lol I don't really think neither has it as bad as they think they do height-wise. Tall girls get laid a lot, as do short guys. It's been rare I've seen anyone rejected for either if I'm honest.
somedude81 Posted April 12, 2012 Posted April 12, 2012 I haven't tried. Don't feel the need to. Just saying that women can, at times, have it just as bad as men in the height department. How can you say that if you haven't even tried? Tall women may have it a teensy bit harder than average height women, but they still have no issue getting men. And their trouble, if you even want to call it that, absolutely pails in comparison to that of a shorter man. 1
KR10N Posted April 12, 2012 Posted April 12, 2012 How can you say that if you haven't even tried? Tall women may have it a teensy bit harder than average height women, but they still have no issue getting men. And their trouble, if you even want to call it that, absolutely pails in comparison to that of a shorter man. Because I have male friends who have bluntly stated they prefer shorter women. Even more specific when they say 5'6" and shorter. A friend at a staggering 6'4" prefers women who are 5'6"... as well as a relative at 6'2". I wasn't saying that I had a problem w/ it. Just going by what others have said to me when we have conversations regarding what we look for in the opposite sex.
somedude81 Posted April 12, 2012 Posted April 12, 2012 Because I have male friends who have bluntly stated they prefer shorter women. Even more specific when they say 5'6" and shorter. A friend at a staggering 6'4" prefers women who are 5'6"... as well as a relative at 6'2". I wasn't saying that I had a problem w/ it. Just going by what others have said to me when we have conversations regarding what we look for in the opposite sex. While a guy may say he prefers woman to be a certain height or shorter, there is no way that he won't date a woman that was taller if she was interested. Men, don't set solid rules the way women do.
KR10N Posted April 12, 2012 Posted April 12, 2012 While a guy may say he prefers woman to be a certain height or shorter, there is no way that he won't date a woman that was taller if she was interested. Men, don't set solid rules the way women do.Nor do I. ... ...
somedude81 Posted April 12, 2012 Posted April 12, 2012 Nor do I. ... ... So you'd date a guy shorter than you?
thatone Posted April 12, 2012 Posted April 12, 2012 Because I have male friends who have bluntly stated they prefer shorter women. Even more specific when they say 5'6" and shorter. A friend at a staggering 6'4" prefers women who are 5'6"... as well as a relative at 6'2". I wasn't saying that I had a problem w/ it. Just going by what others have said to me when we have conversations regarding what we look for in the opposite sex. i'm the opposite, fwiw. a woman as tall or nearly as me is automatically at least a little bit sexy to me despite any other factor (i'm 6'0"). 1
Jane2011 Posted April 12, 2012 Posted April 12, 2012 Really? That's all, "good looking to me" actually means? No, if I'm with a girl, I don't care how other people see her. All that matters to me is that I'm attracted to her. That's exactly how many women feel toward men they like / are attracted to. If a woman is with a guy, she doesn't care how other people see him. All that matters to her is that she is attracted to him. You're just hung up on the phrase "good looking to them" as if that wording somehow makes women feeling the exact way you do...wrong. Good looking to me is such a cop-out. And it really only means anything if the other person is actually not attractive. "She may be ugly, but she's good looking to me." And odds are the girls who are saying that they want a guy who is good looking to them, aren't talking about guys that most women would consider unattractive. Again, not really. Female friends of mine have had boyfriends who I thought were not attractive at all, or just right at average -- people I wouldn't want to date, people who I would actually describe as 'unattractive' -- yet my friends were quite into them. I've also liked men who female friends have wrinkled their noses at. I'm surprised you can't imagine this. It's true.
ThaWholigan Posted April 12, 2012 Posted April 12, 2012 That's exactly how many women feel toward men they like / are attracted to. If a woman is with a guy, she doesn't care how other people see him. All that matters to her is that she is attracted to him. You're just hung up on the phrase "good looking to them" as if that wording somehow makes women feeling the exact way you do...wrong. Again, not really. Female friends of mine have had boyfriends who I thought were not attractive at all, or just right at average -- people I wouldn't want to date, people who I would actually describe as 'unattractive' -- yet my friends were quite into them. I've also liked men who female friends have wrinkled their noses at. I'm surprised you can't imagine this. It's true. It stems from his own belief that all the girls he meets do not think he is good looking, however true or false that may be. I understand it, I thought I was ugly for years, it wasn't until I went to university and joined a band that I started to look at myself differently.
KR10N Posted April 12, 2012 Posted April 12, 2012 It stems from his own belief that all the girls he meets do not think he is good looking, however true or false that may be. I understand it, I thought I was ugly for years, it wasn't until I went to university and joined a band that I started to look at myself differently. Yeah, because everyone knows that playing an instrument maxes out your sex appeal. Why do you think I gave up the piano?
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