my BF thinks im too kinky...and i havent even shown him but 2% of what i like...

[almostthere]

I have been dating my BF now for almost 3 months. he is wonderful to say the least. everything ive been looking for. im not the type to develope feelings this quickly but i can honestly say that i am falling in love with him. I only have one tiny problem....i am a very sexual person. i believe that sex should be exciting...not feel like a chore. i like getting put up against the wall when you first get home from a date and having him take my clothes off like he was just waiting for this moment all night. i like some kinky things that i am not going to list again...ive discussed them a few times on here already giving advice to others. i love to be in control and sometimes even tie a guy up and do whatever. the problem that i am having here is his idea of kinky and my idea is way different. he thinks that when i went down on him the first time that that was kinky. i didnt knowwhat to say. for me thats normal. and i like to wear thongs...i guess more of a g-string...and he thinks thats kinky...i call it comfortable lol. i am normal aggressive about sex. not to where i hurt anyone but a little push down on the bed and quickly take his clothes off...stuff like that. i guess take the lead. but he doesnt seem like the type that i can get away with this with. dont get me wrong please...he is probably the best ive been with and talk about climax...its more satisfying then going on vacation for a week!! he knows a ton of positions and just the right things to do...so im not complaining. but do need my certain level of kink in there...ya know? i went down on him a few nights ago and i really wanted to finish him off. i guess you can say i enjoy that...but he pulled me up and said he wanted to be in me. so i suggested that we do that for awile and when he thinks hes close to not being able to hold back id go back down and finish him off that way. he had this very surprised look on his face. so i said...does that freak you out? he said alittle. then instead of telling me when its time he just finished as we usually do. we had the talk about how many partners we have been with...one i always avoid. i dont want people to know my number. which is why im not going to say on here. so i lied a little. took a few off but it was still alot to him. i guess its alot to anyone. but i can justify it pretty easily and if i am the one that has to live with it...then no harm no foul. ok now i probably should say it just so i dont sound like a major slut right?! lol. its somewhere around 16 or 17. id have to list it out. so i definately know what im doing. but i have never been looked at weird for anything ive done and never been accused of being to freakish...lol i know i have to talk to him about it....but its killing me. im satisfyied as far as orgasms go but the whole excitement thing is missing. he really is someone special...one in a million...so im not going to go because of it...but i would love to change his way of thinking. if i can. i guess im venting without a certain question in mind but this is bugging the hell out of me. i want to take him and take the lead the way i love to do...but im worried at the reaction. the other night he said he loves when i intiate...but i dont even do that the way i normally do. i feel like a virgin...lol. i dont know how the hell to proceed...lol any suggestions on a talk maybe would be a good place to start. he doesnt use alot of words and is very respectful so i have to be careful.

[johan]

16 or 17 total? Or is that a rate?

 

I'd recommend just kind of slowing down a little bit. You can give him performance anxiety if you're always way ahead of him like that. He may be really attracted to you, but if he knows you expect him to tear your clothes off and be a gorilla with you, that can be sort of a lot of pressure. I'm sure he can sense that he's disappointing you sexually. That's not even sort of easy for a guy to face.

 

And you don't want to give him the idea you're trying to have things your way all the time either. It needs to be a give and take for both of you. You may think you're doing great because you're doing lots of giving and taking. But he needs to give and take, too, however it works for him. It sounds like he's mostly just getting.

 

If he's good in bed like you say, then I'm sure he'll reveal a kinky side soon enough. Try to tone it down for a while, but don't act uninterested.

[almostthere]

Thanks for the advice. i definately have been taking it slow with him. i dont even joke about stuff because im afraid he will think im some sort of sex feen. he reciprocates very well when it comes to oral. i guess its just the setting or maybe the foreplay that bugs me. i guess it would be the foreplay to the foreplay if that makes any sense. we were joking around the other day and he pretended like he was sleeping. but he wanted me to initate. fine and good. im all for that...but i didnt know how to approach it. so i kissed his ears and neck and maybe a little of his chest and then tried to kiss him passionately. he kinda egged me on and said is that all you have? i told him no. he said just do whatever i wanted...so i tried to make my way down but he stopped me. i was alittle concerned at first. i had no idea why he would pass it up. but i found out a few minutes later it was because he did not shower. which i thought was probably the most respectful thing anyone has done when it came to sex. most guys wouldnt say anything lol. so after i was cut off there...i was at a loss. i think right now its just because its so new and hes kinda shy in some ways i guess that i dont know yet what works and what doesnt because i cant experiment because i dont want him to think im too forward. but i cant pretend to be what im am being too much longer. it almost feels sometimes like i scare him off. like i said i lied about my number. toned it down but i guess not enough. hes only been with 5 people and only 1 would go down. and his exwife almost threw up on him the first time. and the last time. so hes not used to most of the stuff i thought everyone was used to. i guess in time things will work out. youre probably right...he probably does have a kinky side. and to be honest the way he looks me in the eyes and smiles at me during sex...melts my heart...and makes everything else kinda fade away. id never leave over anything so small....especially knowing the kind of man he really is. i guess patience is what i need right now. and i dont want to tell him anything that would ever make him feel like he doesnt do it for me. just never come accross anyone quite like him. everyone else was at my level or a bit worse...and those that were worse then me...well they didnt last too long. nothing worse then feeling uncomfortable in bed.

[johan]

Definitely sounds like patience is what you need. I think it will pay off, too.