xxSRMxx Posted April 11, 2012 Posted April 11, 2012 We exchanged some emails today, I did the bad thing and tried to convince him to try again. He doesnt want to, he said I need to leave him alone and let nature takes its course as to whatever happens... He also said its breaking his heart that hes had to break mine to make him happy.... I felt almost on the brink of suicidal today.. Im going to the drs tommorow. I need something. When does this pain go??
TaraMaiden Posted April 11, 2012 Posted April 11, 2012 Something as puerile as - "When you let it go" - is of absolutely no comfort whatsoever - at all. ....for all it being 100% true. 1
Philosoraptor Posted April 11, 2012 Posted April 11, 2012 He has made his intentions clear. All you can do now is take care of yourself and find peace and acceptance with the situation. It's not easy, but it can be done. Figure out who you are again outside of a relationship and learn to love and treat yourself well. 1
geegirl Posted April 11, 2012 Posted April 11, 2012 We exchanged some emails today, I did the bad thing and tried to convince him to try again. He doesnt want to, he said I need to leave him alone and let nature takes its course as to whatever happens... He also said its breaking his heart that hes had to break mine to make him happy.... I felt almost on the brink of suicidal today.. Im going to the drs tommorow. I need something. When does this pain go?? He did you a favor, almost a gift in a sense. He released you. Most would dangle you on a string causing you indefinite pain. While it's the worst feeling to hear those words, it's what you truly need to move on. The pain will go but it will take time. Do what you need to do to help you cope. I'm sorry that there is no easy fix but know that we've all been in that dark place and that in time you will find your way out. 1
fucpcg Posted April 11, 2012 Posted April 11, 2012 When my ex ended it with me, I was as equally devastated. We had both made mistakes in the relationship, but at that time the mistakes were all things I wanted to work around, but she didn't. To me there was really only one thing to do, study what went wrong, understand my part in it, look at where I really screwed up, and learn from it. I did that, and my heart told me apologize for my mistakes. I wrote a letter to her saying hey I see that I screwed these things up, royally, and I am soo sorry for where I went wrong. If she had any interest, or cared to step up in maturity, she could have done the same and presented to me something similar. She didn't, and if fact definitely took the low road in the breakup. Regardless, what I did (as far as reflection and writing the apology) was definitely take the HIGH road, which allowed me to know that I did what I could to make amends, and ultimately become a more mature, wiser man. Writing the apology didn't get us anywhere as far as our relationship, but it perfectly highlighted my flaws that I went on to work on, and improve. There isn't anything you can do to make the pain go away, and unfortunately that pain isn't going anywhere anytime soon, but this IS a chance to grow as a person, so that hopefully more bad endings don't find you in the future. 1
Author xxSRMxx Posted April 11, 2012 Author Posted April 11, 2012 She didn't, and if fact definitely took the low road in the breakup. Regardless, what I did (as far as reflection and writing the apology) was definitely take the HIGH road, which allowed me to know that I did what I could to make amends, and ultimately become a more mature, wiser man. Writing the apology didn't get us anywhere as far as our relationship, but it perfectly highlighted my flaws that I went on to work on, and improve. There isn't anything you can do to make the pain go away, and unfortunately that pain isn't going anywhere anytime soon, but this IS a chance to grow as a person, so that hopefully more bad endings don't find you in the future. How did you take this high road and improve? what did you do? therapy?
plastikation Posted April 11, 2012 Posted April 11, 2012 I found therapy to be extremely helpful! It also helps to dive into new projects and hobbies, that help take up your time and take your mind off things. Good luck 1
BewitchedandBothered Posted April 11, 2012 Posted April 11, 2012 We exchanged some emails today, I did the bad thing and tried to convince him to try again. He doesnt want to, he said I need to leave him alone and let nature takes its course as to whatever happens... He also said its breaking his heart that hes had to break mine to make him happy.... I felt almost on the brink of suicidal today.. Im going to the drs tommorow. I need something. When does this pain go?? The pain isn't going away because you are not allowing it to go away. Going back for more talky talk with this fellow is only opening the wound wider and he poured a bunch of salt into it. Not good for you. Vote him off your island. Please, don't go the route I did with antidepressant. It took the edge off, but the pain was right there waiting when I weaned----and withdrawal was horrendous. I cursed my ex every single time I had my head in the toilet, every migraine I had and the shakes. Not worth it. Allow it to happen naturally. Don't take anymore of his douchebaggery.
Author xxSRMxx Posted April 11, 2012 Author Posted April 11, 2012 The pain isn't going away because you are not allowing it to go away. Going back for more talky talk with this fellow is only opening the wound wider and he poured a bunch of salt into it. Not good for you. Vote him off your island. Please, don't go the route I did with antidepressant. It took the edge off, but the pain was right there waiting when I weaned----and withdrawal was horrendous. I cursed my ex every single time I had my head in the toilet, every migraine I had and the shakes. Not worth it. Allow it to happen naturally. Don't take anymore of his douchebaggery. I did consider anti depressants, some people say yes try them, alot of people say no. I think i just want to go and talk to someone to be honest, and look at building up my confidence and changing my negative ways. Its how I lost him in the first place. Just wish the initial ache would go, This week is going to be tough....I have lots planned next week so shouldnt be too bad. Wish I could turn back time....give anything for that. 1
BewitchedandBothered Posted April 11, 2012 Posted April 11, 2012 I did consider anti depressants, some people say yes try them, alot of people say no. I think i just want to go and talk to someone to be honest, and look at building up my confidence and changing my negative ways. Its how I lost him in the first place. Just wish the initial ache would go, This week is going to be tough....I have lots planned next week so shouldnt be too bad. Wish I could turn back time....give anything for that. At least now you know and you can move forward====the ache will indeed go away. Not sure if I shared this with you, but, once when I asked if the ache would go away, she said "who do you think hurts more? The person who broke your leg? or you who are nursing it back to health?" The breaker gets to walk and flit around town while you sit there hurting until you heal. It will happen, but since you had that phone call, it has set you back a wee bit. As I said, you can move forward and what a view:) So much for you to see:) 1
Author xxSRMxx Posted April 12, 2012 Author Posted April 12, 2012 I've actually just this second initiated NC with him He said he was gonna call me the weekend and i just thought I dont think I can bear being in touch with him right now anyway! Ive just sent him an email saying that for the next couple of weeks while im seeing a therapist, focusing on myself and going on holiday (im going to see my friend for a few days) i do not wish to talk to him and that id be in touch whenever im ready. I was polite..im pleased with myself, not sure how I will feel in the morning when this moment of strength has disappeared and im a wreck again. still............right thing??
BewitchedandBothered Posted April 12, 2012 Posted April 12, 2012 I've actually just this second initiated NC with him He said he was gonna call me the weekend and i just thought I dont think I can bear being in touch with him right now anyway! Ive just sent him an email saying that for the next couple of weeks while im seeing a therapist, focusing on myself and going on holiday (im going to see my friend for a few days) i do not wish to talk to him and that id be in touch whenever im ready. I was polite..im pleased with myself, not sure how I will feel in the morning when this moment of strength has disappeared and im a wreck again. still............right thing??[/quote:(:(:(:(:(There is no need to let him know you are going NC, and no reason to divulge reasons why you are done. I wonder if you will be awaiting a response from him now that you mentioned you are seeking therapy. And if he doesn't respond, what then? No more contact. Period. It's doing you in.
Author xxSRMxx Posted April 12, 2012 Author Posted April 12, 2012 he knew about the therapy thing wayyy before we even split up, ive always kind of been planning to have it due to low self esteem and bereavements ive suffered. ah well its done now! time to grit my teeth and get on with it as much as it kills me 1
BewitchedandBothered Posted April 12, 2012 Posted April 12, 2012 No more contact for anything. It's time for you to heal.
Recommended Posts