Is it me?

[missy268]

Right, to cut a long story short, i have been dating this guy for 3 weeks now, he asked me to officially be his girlfriend nearly 2 weeks ago, i was over the moon, i have been hurt alot and thought i'd found somebody who was totally into me as i was into him.

 

Last weekend i stayed over - he had been quite sexual asking what turns me on in texts and stuff before i actually went over and i thought no thats normal its fine we're a couple now, things will naturally progress this way, we went for a few drinks with his friends and they all liked me, we went back to his and yeah had a bit of foreplay if you like but not sex.

 

Ever since Sunday, i've hardly heard from him - he used to text me ALL the time, and he text me good morning yesterday and stuff but his texts all of a sudden turned to, you make me so horny - and then last night he sent me a rather explicit one, which i took offence to. I text him back and told him it made me feel uncomfortable, he apologised said he was obviously moving to fast and asked me if i was ending things, to which i replied no, he said i was special to him and im perfect etc

 

I do have issues with sex - i dont like to talk about it all the time, i think there is more to life, and more to a conversation....and especially 3 weeks into a new relationship

 

as soon as i told him it made me feel uncomfortable, he put a video on my facebook wall called "Ultimate dog tease" now it was either him trying to make me laugh, or trying to call me in a tease in his own way

 

Anyway, i text him earlier this morning - low and behold he hasn't replied, yes i know he could be busy but come on what are the chances?! when he replied back really quickly last night when he thought he had upset me, and this time last week he was all over me - he's not mentioned seeing me again, and i dont know something is really bugging me now about this guy

 

Now my point of this post is, did i do the right thing telling me it made me uncomfortable, or am i being an insecure prude?!

 

thanks for any input! x

[Ninjainpajamas]

You're not being an insecure prude you're just being naive.

 

This guy sounds like a douche bag and the only reason he seems to have be willing to jump into a relationship (which he doesn't really take serious or care, doesn't make a difference to him) so that you'd open up more sexually and he'd be able to use you as a sex toy.

 

Do you really think a guy is being himself in the first three weeks? you think that he's going to always be this way and act like this? I mean c'mon any guy can put on the act and guess what? this sounds like the exact type of asshat that gives a woman a false sense of commitment to give her the feeling that he's serious about her so that she'll naively be like "oh ok, then everything is acceptable now because now we're in a relationship"

 

Everything this guy is doing is rush, rush, rush...which means bad, bad, bad! Any guy who comes out like a horse on a race track is eventually going to wind down and get tired because all of his energy and best effort is put in the very beginning of the race...and now that's he's not getting what he wants he's getting all butthurt and taking a hit to the ego because he wants to feel like he's turning you on sexually...but that's all this guy seems interested in, It seems like the reason he's putting in all this effort.

 

From a guys point of view

 

"he apologised said he was obviously moving to fast and asked me if i was ending things, to which i replied no, he said i was special to him and im perfect etc"

 

He's insecure and bull****ter...special to you, ha! this guy sounds like he's 18 and hornier than a guy in a girls locker room and that's the only reason I think he's chasing after you, for completely sexual reasons.

 

You guys are obviously both young, so It's pretty easy for me to see through this guy, there's a lot of them out there like him and there's nothing wrong with him wanting you sexually but this guy hasn't learned that your needs are important and you're not just piece of meat...because honestly he's treating you like a porn star in his mind.

 

I think he's going to treat you different now and be standoffish until you put out and feed his ego/confidence a bit...I think you should avoid this guy because I can see where he's headed but you'll likely give him another chance...so just take my advice and don't be surprised when after he's had sex with you, a few times or for a while...he suddenly has a change of heart and thinks you're a cool girl but doesn't "feel the chemistry" or ::insert one hundred excuses here that guys give women when breaking up::.

 

He's going way too fast, he's got a one track mind to your vagina...not going to end well and he's showing his true colors, he is clearly expecting you to put out and give him what he wants or else is see ya later! But even when you do you're prolonging the inevitable.

 

And don't blame yourself, It has nothing to do with you and everything to do with what he's trying to get from you. Don't be a sucker and question yourself because he's making you feel like you're the one doing something wrong, now you're questioning your own "normal" actions and real feelings...ha, that's how it always starts when women start bending backwards for men.

[missy268]

Thanks so much

 

Today he has treated me very differently....hes even had a go at me because i've not paid on dates...so to me what your saying is very much screaming at me

 

Hes said that he doesn't feel he can flirt with me anymore, and that he doesn't feel he can spend the night and things, yeah because he knows i aint going to put out easily, thats it isnt it!

 

Both young?! i wish, im 26 and he's 32!!

[Emilia]

Thanks so much

 

Today he has treated me very differently....hes even had a go at me because i've not paid on dates...so to me what your saying is very much screaming at me

 

Hes said that he doesn't feel he can flirt with me anymore, and that he doesn't feel he can spend the night and things, yeah because he knows i aint going to put out easily, thats it isnt it!

 

He is an idiot. Move on, plenty more where that one came from