tansuri Posted April 11, 2012 Posted April 11, 2012 if u initiated a cool down period,would he ignore you and stop the relationship so that you will panic and beg him? And how do you know if he really wants a stop or just wants to see you beg?
TaraMaiden Posted April 11, 2012 Posted April 11, 2012 a cool-down period should be agreed: "We will give it one complete month of absolutely No Contact whatsoever, and then on *specific date/time* we will meet on neutral ground and tell each other exactly what we would like from this relationship, even if it is to end it. No bull, no accusations, no recriminations, no justifications. Just what we would like, what we will input - if at all - and what we need from the other person - if at all." Sorted. Game on.
oaks Posted April 11, 2012 Posted April 11, 2012 If someone told me they wanted a cool down period I would probably assume the relationship was over and my lack of contact wouldn't be to make you beg at all.
Author tansuri Posted April 11, 2012 Author Posted April 11, 2012 but feelings dont disappear all of a sudden and girls like to say things that they don't mean and if it is just matter of 2 weeks, isn't he heartless to totally dump me when i said sorry and want to continue? how can i reverse the situation?
oaks Posted April 11, 2012 Posted April 11, 2012 but feelings dont disappear all of a sudden and girls like to say things that they don't mean and if it is just matter of 2 weeks, isn't he heartless to totally dump me when i said sorry and want to continue? how can i reverse the situation? You probably upset him by telling him you wanted a cool down period. You could try talking to him, face to face. For the future: try not to say things you don't mean because, as you're now seeing, it doesn't always get you what you want.
Ninjainpajamas Posted April 11, 2012 Posted April 11, 2012 (edited) The reason for a cooldown period is because as man I'm too big of puss to break up with you...you're clinging on like a baby monkey, and I want to get out of this as easily as possible without any drama and this is the first step towards doing that. It means I'd want to get on with my life and gain some separation and start seeing other people....but then again personally I'd just break up with you than do any kind of "cooldown" period, it doesn't work that way...It's either a relationship or not. He doesn't want you to beg him, he's just tired of you and doesn't really care. You're not thinking about his feelings for you, you're thinking about your feelings for him and of all things you're depending on words like "but he said he really liked me and cared for or some crap like that"...look none of that matters, and nobody is ever heartless from their point of view, they always feel justified or could care less because they are consumed by their own emotions. It doesn't matter that you said you're sorry...this sounds like a pretty new relationship at the same time, you're not going to be able to reverse the situation...he has to come back and want to be with you, when you beg you're just asking for him to come back and be with you so that he'll string you along. If a man wants to be with you he comes after you, when he doesn't he just ignores you and disappears off the face of the earth...the sooner you realize that the better off you'll be, you're just wasting your time without this guy wanting to put the effort...and no you can't make people want to put in the effort or be with you, you can't force anyone to do anything (emotionally) and shouldn't be able to, or else what would be the point and value of love? And If you initiated the cooldown period, you're the one playing games and wanting him to chase after you, in which I think he's doing the right thing If he's ignoring you because that's just drama I'm not interested in. But there's probably more to it than that which is why I said what I said in the beginning as well, If he agreed then he didn't take the opportunity to do what he should have regardless. Edited April 11, 2012 by Ninjainpajamas
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