Ugh, can't get past a 1st/2nd date. Virgin. 25. Impossible to form chemistry

[mooninite]

OP are you looking to get a girlfriend? Or do you just want to lose your virginity?

 

You actually had a couple of opportunities to score with the make out sessions... you just had to close it bro. It can be intimidating to do when you are a virgin, but don't think about it.... just do it.

 

Both.

 

How'd I have the opportunity? One chick, who i was making out with on the subway and taxi ride back home to my place... I offered her to spend the night and invited her back inside to sober up. She'd previously been inside my apt, we were drinking there before we went out and playing Rockband. But she declined and said she had to drive home.

 

Other girl, we made out at the baseball game. It was only 2nd date. I might have hinted at inviting her back to my place, but we ended up just sharing a cab home, and she got dropped off first.

 

another of the girls... we made out 2nd date. 3rd date, we didn't really make out, just a quick peck goodbye before she went out of town, and didnt see her again.

 

the 4th one... i lost interest in her. just wasnt attracted.

 

How would you suggested I have sealed the deal with those girls? But it's not so much those girls I'm concerned about. It's them PLUS the 2 dozen other girls, that I did not make out with, and that I didn't get past a 1st date/2nd date with.

[jobaba]

Dang. 26 dates in a year?

 

What do you do? Online dating?

 

Dating is lame, man.

 

If you live in a big city, and have a good social network, use that FIRST. I'm ten years older than you and almost all of my friends married someone they met through their own social network.

 

Especially at your age. You shouldn't have to resort to shotgun dating strangers just yet. You'll have better odds if you meet through friends of friends.

[Seneca]

In Asia white people get red carpets put out for them. Look at their cartoons or the most popular kinds of plastic surgery. It kind of makes me sick when I see all sorts of deformed, lanky, Jewish looking subhumans with red curly clown hair hand in hand with a normal looking Asian girl half their age, just because of this weird worship of caucasians. I bet that really pisses Asian men off.

 

White is the flavor. It's not just Asians. In some places they have skin cream for dark skinned people to become a little "whiter". It's just how it is. It may change over time though.

 

China is emerging as the new powerhouse. Their economy is looking strong and in fact they have replaced USA as the leading nation.

 

So maybe sometime in the future... Yellow will be the flavor. And everyone will want to be yellow.

[jobaba]

OP's post has revealed a lot to me about the way online dating works.

 

Now I know why the women who date online are the way they are...

[Eddie Edirol]

Both.

 

How'd I have the opportunity? One chick, who i was making out with on the subway and taxi ride back home to my place... I offered her to spend the night and invited her back inside to sober up. She'd previously been inside my apt, we were drinking there before we went out and playing Rockband. But she declined and said she had to drive home.

 

Other girl, we made out at the baseball game. It was only 2nd date. I might have hinted at inviting her back to my place, but we ended up just sharing a cab home, and she got dropped off first.

 

another of the girls... we made out 2nd date. 3rd date, we didn't really make out, just a quick peck goodbye before she went out of town, and didnt see her again.

 

the 4th one... i lost interest in her. just wasnt attracted.

 

How would you suggested I have sealed the deal with those girls? But it's not so much those girls I'm concerned about. It's them PLUS the 2 dozen other girls, that I did not make out with, and that I didn't get past a 1st date/2nd date with.

 

Stop hinting or inviting them to your place. Dont worry about sealing the deal. if you appear to not need it, they will smell it, and be more attracted to you. Thats Because they are used to guys pushing hard for sex while making out. Tease them with making out, then leave them wanting more. They will hint to wanting to go to your place after a couple dates, if you havent mentioned it. They will wonder "why hasnt he invited me to his place? Does someone live with him?" They will HAVE to find out.

[TheBigQuestion]

In Asia white people get red carpets put out for them. Look at their cartoons or the most popular kinds of plastic surgery. It kind of makes me sick when I see all sorts of deformed, lanky, Jewish looking subhumans with red curly clown hair hand in hand with a normal looking Asian girl half their age, just because of this weird worship of caucasians. I bet that really pisses Asian men off.

 

East Asian cultures do have a pretty strong fixation on American culture, but trust me, they are extremely exclusionary when it comes to Western individuals. Try being a white guy in Japan. See if they would ever accept you 100%. It doesn't happen.

[jobaba]

I'd like to add OP ... if you can get 26 dates in a year (not even counting the 2nd and 3rd dates you got) as a man, then you're pretty much good looking enough to go out to the bars and get laid this weekend.

 

I think the problem is with your confidence and attitude. Or maybe you're just kind of a weird dude. Impossible to tell without knowing you.

 

But there's no way I could get 26 dates with 26 different women in a year.

[Seneca]

Hardly. If you think it's about economy and what not, you are totally missing what race really means.

 

Asia has had great empires on par with the ones in Europe, yet cultural influence is more or less one way (Europe to Asia).

 

No. Race is separate from economy. But a race has a distinct culture. And economic power is what spreads that cultural influence... ie Romans, Egyptians, Great Britain, and other Great Empires and Kingdoms.

 

You really think people are going to want to trade in their big brown, blue , green eyes with the orbs that give white people that expressive look in their eyes , for little slanty black eyes?

 

Why not? It's just the trends of time. You would be a fool to think that it's set in stone.

Edited April 12, 2012 by Seneca

[OliveOyl]

Race is much more subtle and complex than skin color or hair texture. Whites and blacks are too distant from one another to form a romantic bond that goes beyond fetish-driven sex, and while Asians and whites are more similar, it's still never going to evolve past a mechanical relationship.

 

When dating is really just about how fast you can get your cock in a pussy, yeah, race doesn't matter in the 21st century. But long-lasting relationships and a coherent family life can only exist with 2 people of the same race, you'll eventually bump into unresolvable differences even if its two equally great people who are of different races.

 

Ummm. No. Interesting opinion, but false. I know of several happy, long-term mixed-race couples.

[silkfox]

OP: I don't know you beyond your posts, but here's a fairly broad analysis I've strung together:

 

Yeah, dating is a numbers game. You're not always going to meet someone who you connect with, or vice versa. Online dating is nice in that you at least get to establish a bit of a rapport before you meet them, but it's a complete crap shot right up until you meet them face to face.

 

If I had to give any kind of constructive criticism? I think you're going about it with the wrong kind of attitude. Judging by your personal details, you seem like a type-A kind of guy: you set your goals, you work for them, you achieve them. That's great! I think part of the problem is you're translating that kind of "Go Get 'Em" attitude into your dating. Nothing, and I mean NOTHING, kills the mood faster than someone who's trying too hard.

 

First dates should be fun! I'm not saying don't mask the fact that you're ambitious (chicks dig ambition), but don't be a total kill joy about it. Relax, take a deep breath, and concentrate less on making things "work" and more on having fun. Tell a few jokes! Share your common interests! You're here to get to know someone, and that's all. It's already an awkward situation; your job is to make it as less awkward as possible.

[starla33]

I'm 25. I'm physically active and fit. I have a good job and money. I have tons of friends, guys and girls. I go out and drink, party like any post-college mid twenty something year old. I live in a big, urban city. By all means you'd probably be surprised to think I'm a virgin, or that I've never had a girlfriend. Or ever been on more than 3 dates with a girl.

 

I have recently gotten on the online dating websites (match, and OKC). I have gotten several dates. They all result in either no call/text back after the 1st date, some result in delayed , wishy-washy responses that eventually fade, some result in 2nd dates which they flake out on at the last minute. A few progress into 2nd dates. A couple have even progressed to 3rd dates, but, they all end the same way. WTF am I doing wrong? I thought it's supposed to get easier/less nervous after doing it so much. But I've been rejected so much, it just makes me feel MORE depressed. It's actually made my confidence plummet compared to when I first stated online dating. Isn't it supposed to get easier?

 

My problem is I don't know how to flirt. I don't give off any red flags (at least I don't think). WTF am I doing wrong? Am I a terrible kisser (for thegirls I have made out with?). It's not like I act like a total dork or a loser. Or that I never make a move. So what gives? I do my damnedest to make conversation. I can tell when I'm having fun and in my mind I know when I feel a connection or have fun or not. I;'ve even turned down my fair share of girls.

 

Brief summary of all the girls, in order over the past year:

 

1. 1st date, 2nd date, kiss/make out at baseball game. 3rd date, kiss goodnight. She goes on a month-long vacation abroad. When she returns, is flaky, eventually she gives the friend-zone. I decline, tell her I have too many friends.

 

2. 1st date. Answers my call for 2nd date, but flakes out.

 

3. 1st date, 2nd date kiss her goodnight. Responds back, wishy-washy about meeting up 3rd time, fizzles out.

 

4. 1st date, no response

 

5. 1st date (meet this girl at a beer festival, not online). She's a bit older chick, I don't like her - too different, I don't call her back.

 

6. 1st date, kiss on lips goodnight. 2nd date, end same way. 3rd date, dancing with each other and grinding at the bar, making out in the bar, end the night making out all over each other in the train back from the bars, in the cab ride home. After this she goes on vacation for a week, gets wishy-washy about meeting up/respnding when she's back, eventually she tells me she started sating someone else

 

7. 1st date, kiss on lips to end it. Wish-washy about 2nd date, but eventually we end up going on 2nd date. After 2nd date, i try to set up 3rd, she says shes dating someone else.

 

8. 1st date. The girl brought along her friend to the bar. WTF? Needless to say, I wasnt interested in the girl, didnt call her back

 

9. 1st date - no response back

10. 1st date - no response back

11. 1st date - did not like the girl, did not call her back

12. 1st date - this girl's interest level was WAY high in e-mails. her emails were super excited, twice as long as mine. she e-mailed/called me first rather than wait for me to call her, to set up the date. Date went well, kissed her goodnight after walking her home. She tells me she is "not over her ex-boyfriend yet" and deletes her OKC profile. My guess? she met someone else

13. 1st date, kiss goodnight. Make plans for 2nd date, she bails 1 hour before.

14. 1st date - no response back

15. 1st date - don't like the girl, never call her back.

 

16. 1st date, no kiss. Get 2nd date. Goes really well, we are making out at the baseball game, in the shared cab ride back home. Next day, no response, never heard from her again.

 

17. 1st date, no kiss. Get 2nd date.Goes alright, go in for the kiss, she back off. Try to set up 3rd date anyways, she tells me she is busy/going to be traveling over the summer/other excuses as to why she isnt ready to date.

 

18. 1st date. She's kind of fat, but nice. I give her a call, set up 2nd date. We are making out at the bar, dancing. I end up never calling her back, but never hear from her either. Who knows.

 

19. 1st date. Text her back, replies, says she didn't feel romantic connection

19. 1st date, Flakes out for 2nd date

20. 1st date, no response back after

 

AND that was all of 2011. Maybe a few I'm forgetting, but they didnt progress past 1st dates anyways.

 

2012 I take a break From November until March. Get back on the site aggressively. All the following dates were in the past month:

 

21. 1st date, 2nd date, I don't like the girl, never kiss her, never call her back after 2nd date

22. 1st date, call her back, she texts back saying to be friends. Declined her generous offer.

23. 1st date. Girl goes on vacation for a couple weeks. When she gets back, says she is dating someone else

24. 1st date kis her goodnight, girl takes 2 days to respond to text. 12 hours to respond after that. All wishy-washy answers. i eventually tell "i get the hint, thanks for coming out".

25. 1st date, wishy-washy answers, slow to respond (still in the stages)

26. 1st date, responds back saying she wants to be friends.

 

I really think it's because of online dating and the next best thing. When I was younger I would go on TONS of first dates and think the guy was OK but thought there was something better out there. Have you tried joining groups or getting hobbies where you can meet people in real life not online?

[starla33]

East Asian cultures do have a pretty strong fixation on American culture, but trust me, they are extremely exclusionary when it comes to Western individuals. Try being a white guy in Japan. See if they would ever accept you 100%. It doesn't happen.

 

It's not just asia, where I live tons of guys have a huge asian fetish and the asian girls have white fetish. I feel bad for the asian guys here

[dispatch3d]

26, **** me in the ass and call me a virgin, that ain't bad. I'm guessing they probably want you to come off more relationship minded? And I mean guessing cause how I'm supposed to tell you where your mistake is given the information is pretty tough.

[Seneca]

Both.

 

How'd I have the opportunity? One chick, who i was making out with on the subway and taxi ride back home to my place... I offered her to spend the night and invited her back inside to sober up. She'd previously been inside my apt, we were drinking there before we went out and playing Rockband. But she declined and said she had to drive home.

 

Other girl, we made out at the baseball game. It was only 2nd date. I might have hinted at inviting her back to my place, but we ended up just sharing a cab home, and she got dropped off first.

 

another of the girls... we made out 2nd date. 3rd date, we didn't really make out, just a quick peck goodbye before she went out of town, and didnt see her again.

 

the 4th one... i lost interest in her. just wasnt attracted.

 

How would you suggested I have sealed the deal with those girls? But it's not so much those girls I'm concerned about. It's them PLUS the 2 dozen other girls, that I did not make out with, and that I didn't get past a 1st date/2nd date with.

 

 

Drunk girl... no fly zone.

 

Cab girl and others you could've invited over. Why would you not invite them? The answer will always be no if you don't ask. And you can say anything... Invite her to come check out some of your cool cd collections, books, whatever. They know what's up. Seriously, when she gets to your place you don't have to do much but just feel her out...

 

If you are getting drunk on your dates. Lay off the drinks. It doesn't look good for a guy barely dating a girl to be drunk. And you'll improve your chances. And don't do coffee shop dates. That will turn out to be more like an interview setting.

 

How To Get A Girlfriend

 

Ok so first date, you meet and greet. Go someplace fun and exciting (bungee, paintballing, bowling, gokarts, etc). Then something to eat after (if you like her). Get to know each other.

 

Second date, you can do a club, get the sex vibes going but don't get drunk. Leave the club early and head to a friends place or yours to hang out for an after party...

 

Third date, couples activity shopping at the grocers or mall.

 

Fourth date, movies...

 

Nearly everyday you are calling or texting her...

 

And that's the road to getting a girlfriend.

 

If you want to become better with women let me know and I can send you some info...

[dispatch3d]

From what I understand asking a girl if she wants to stay over is not good. You have to just assume this stuff will or won't happen, I don't know how to describe it. Anything that involves her making a conscious choice about whether you two will hook up is a bad idea.

 

Also fwiw I found that not trying to schedule the next meeting with a girl that liked me worked better than me trying to schedule dates. It kept the challenge up or something, I don't know. Girls are into challenging people, which is why nice guys get nixed quick. Just pretend your incredibly uptight and annoying to be friends with, girls probably dig that ;-). Just kidding, I'm bitter haha.

[PlumPrincess]

Being racist surely helps finding a girlfriend.

[rbitrage]

You should read some of the pickup artist books like mystery method, the game etc. I know it seems lame, but the principles are so true and they work. The basic idea is that the girl is not gonna 'want' to have sex with you. It has to be a natural progression which starts with physical contact which you do so naturally that they start to feel comfortable with your touch. There are all kinds of ways to do this, but I think if you feel uncomfortable escalating the contact they will sense it. I'm by no means a natural at it but once I figured out how this stuff works, it was amazing how easily I was getting laid on the first or second date. You don't just greet them with a hug, you find an excuse to touch them all date long...Pretend to read their palm or really do it if you know how...touch them on the arm when you are telling them something. Go to a loud place where there is music and lean in when talking to them. Make it very natural. The more you do it the more they see you are comfortable with it and the more they want you to touch them. I find that as long as the physical contact slowly gets more natural, there are no issues leaning in at a quiet moment and kissing them, and then once you are kissing them don't break contact. Hold their hand, put your arm around their shoulder etc etc All this is building the bond. And honestly I never say you wanna come back to my place because any self respecting woman will say no. You go to a bar closer to your house, do more making out, and then you say let's get out of here, and very calmly and naturally just head to your house. If she hesitates, then just call it a night or go for a coffee. You are not doing anything she doesn't want, but she's not gonna spell it out for you or agree to it verbally.

 

On your point about Asians, I'm not Asian, but I think asian guys are stuck in a self-imposed non-aggressive stereotype, so girls expect that you are not assertive sexually and you fullfill that stereotype. A friend of mine who always gets the same surprised question: you are really aggressive for an asian guy. They can't believe it (and that includes asian girls saying this to him). Aggressive doesn't mean being inappropriate. It means being totally comfortable slowly escalating the physical contact during the date. every long journey begins with one step. You can't go to the finish line without taking some steps in between. Also it's a mentality which you have to develop, which I know is tough until you actually do it. For me I basically assume every girl I meet that I have a great conversation with i will end up sleeping with. if the conversation is stale then i just cut the date early and go home. Plus I don't see it as 'sex is the goal'. To me the whole date is a long mutual seduction, and sex is just the last part of it. Honestly I enjoy the whole thing, not just the last part. And if you don't end up having sex with her, it doesn't matter because you had a great time with her anyways.

 

That's how you have to think about it. Or at least that's my experience and opinion

[mooninite]

I'd like to add OP ... if you can get 26 dates in a year (not even counting the 2nd and 3rd dates you got) as a man, then you're pretty much good looking enough to go out to the bars and get laid this weekend.

 

I think the problem is with your confidence and attitude. Or maybe you're just kind of a weird dude. Impossible to tell without knowing you.

 

But there's no way I could get 26 dates with 26 different women in a year.

 

Yes, that is my problem. I know I'm a "weird" dude, and probably have issues with confidence and attitude. I just can't make easy conversation with people. It's weird... I'm very brash, opinionated, politically incorrect, cynical and extreme minded at times. I'm a snob/elitist when it comes to things like sports, music, anything I like. I'm also generally very hyper, energetic, talkative. I pace around a lot to clear my mind. Or even when watching TV, or resting in between sets at the gym.

 

For example, when I'm truly confident, and at ease... for example alone or with my best of friends.... I'm way jittery. I glance around all over, hard to make eye contact. I tweak a lot. If you didn't know me, you'd probably think I was coked up or something.

 

That's the real, confident, me that I can be. Not really a pleasant person. But I try my best to fit right into society, keep my thoughts to myself, and blend right in. Only problem is, then I have a tough time connecting with people or having fun... unless I'm drunk. That's when I don't give a ****, I loosen up, and am more fun and social. I've since cut down on my drinking a LOT, and stopped getting drunk altogether. And oddly enough, it's made me feel more isolated and harder to feign being normal.

 

if you must know, i was a loner and introvert in high school. Never did prom, few friends, no clubs. Come college, I was sick of that **** and pulled a 180. Started playing sports, joined a fraternity. Tried to force myself to listen to mainstream music, and enjoy the bar and cub scene. Forced myself to be more open-minded, pretend to be more mainstream.

 

 

Does that answer your question? I'd say I've done a pretty damn good job of not being weird, or at least mostly. I'm social now, have a ton of friends, roommates, social circle. Lots of contacts... both in fun and work circles.

 

So who knows what I'm doing or saying on my dates? I'm a social retard when it comes to social norms. Either I'm my "confident" self and my weird nature comes out, or I do my best to be as normal as I can, but deep down I'm not really having fun (unless I'm drunk), and I probably leave the impression with the girls that I'm boring or just don't stick out.

 

Yep.

[mooninite]

Drunk girl... no fly zone.

 

Cab girl and others you could've invited over. Why would you not invite them? The answer will always be no if you don't ask. And you can say anything... Invite her to come check out some of your cool cd collections, books, whatever. They know what's up. Seriously, when she gets to your place you don't have to do much but just feel her out...

 

If you are getting drunk on your dates. Lay off the drinks. It doesn't look good for a guy barely dating a girl to be drunk. And you'll improve your chances. And don't do coffee shop dates. That will turn out to be more like an interview setting.

 

How To Get A Girlfriend

 

Ok so first date, you meet and greet. Go someplace fun and exciting (bungee, paintballing, bowling, gokarts, etc). Then something to eat after (if you like her). Get to know each other.

 

Second date, you can do a club, get the sex vibes going but don't get drunk. Leave the club early and head to a friends place or yours to hang out for an after party...

 

Third date, couples activity shopping at the grocers or mall.

 

Fourth date, movies...

 

Nearly everyday you are calling or texting her...

 

And that's the road to getting a girlfriend.

 

If you want to become better with women let me know and I can send you some info...

 

Your advice sounds contrary to what most people said. Most people seem to say don't invite them over so soon. They'll let you know when they want to come over. They know what's up when you invite them, and they'll think you're just desperate or after sex.

 

I agree with your ida for the dates though. I try to pick something or some place fun. Not a typical bar or coffee shop. Either a cool activity, or if it is a bar, some unique, one-of-kind place.

 

 

But texting and calling everyday? That's again counter to what most people here, and what all the pick up artists say. Aren't you supposed to push-pull? Make it seem like you're not that needy? Calling and texting everyday comes off as needy, and as if you're not a busy man. Keep them guessing.

[mooninite]

 

Also fwiw I found that not trying to schedule the next meeting with a girl that liked me worked better than me trying to schedule dates. It kept the challenge up or something, I don't know. Girls are into challenging people, which is why nice guys get nixed quick. Just pretend your incredibly uptight and annoying to be friends with, girls probably dig that ;-). Just kidding, I'm bitter haha.

 

How do you meet up again with said girl then, if you're trying to not schedule the next meeting? What do you do or say? How do you play it off?

[mooninite]

Yes, that is my problem. I know I'm a "weird" dude, and probably have issues with confidence and attitude. I just can't make easy conversation with people. It's weird... I'm very brash, opinionated, politically incorrect, cynical and extreme minded at times. I'm a snob/elitist when it comes to things like sports, music, anything I like. I'm also generally very hyper, energetic, talkative. I pace around a lot to clear my mind. Or even when watching TV, or resting in between sets at the gym.

 

For example, when I'm truly confident, and at ease... for example alone or with my best of friends.... I'm way jittery. I glance around all over, hard to make eye contact. I tweak a lot. If you didn't know me, you'd probably think I was coked up or something.

 

That's the real, confident, me that I can be. Not really a pleasant person. But I try my best to fit right into society, keep my thoughts to myself, and blend right in. Only problem is, then I have a tough time connecting with people or having fun... unless I'm drunk. That's when I don't give a ****, I loosen up, and am more fun and social. I've since cut down on my drinking a LOT, and stopped getting drunk altogether. And oddly enough, it's made me feel more isolated and harder to feign being normal.

 

if you must know, i was a loner and introvert in high school. Never did prom, few friends, no clubs. Come college, I was sick of that **** and pulled a 180. Started playing sports, joined a fraternity. Tried to force myself to listen to mainstream music, and enjoy the bar and cub scene. Forced myself to be more open-minded, pretend to be more mainstream.

 

 

Does that answer your question? I'd say I've done a pretty damn good job of not being weird, or at least mostly. I'm social now, have a ton of friends, roommates, social circle. Lots of contacts... both in fun and work circles.

 

So who knows what I'm doing or saying on my dates? I'm a social retard when it comes to social norms. Either I'm my "confident" self and my weird nature comes out, or I do my best to be as normal as I can, but deep down I'm not really having fun (unless I'm drunk), and I probably leave the impression with the girls that I'm boring or just don't stick out.

 

Yep.

 

Adding onto this post, since I can't edit it....

 

I JUST CAN"T CONNECT WITH PEOPLE LIKE THAT. with guys, it's fine. that's why i have no problem making friends. most guys don't give a ****. most guys aren't looking to bond. they just need bros to get drunk with. we're direct. "hey bro, what you doing?" "hitting up the beach today, going surfing with my roomate, lookin for more people, wanna come?" "sure, need any beer?" That line would work for your good friend, or the guy you just met last week on your softball team or next door apartment. Eventually after lots of hanging out, you might discover more common interests or quirks, and form a deeper friendship. But on a date with a girl, 1 on 1? I just don't know how to form that chemistry or make more than small talk, without coming across like a jackass.

[mooninite]

And would it be weird to ask any of the girls I went on dates with recently in the past month, what exactly I did wrong? Just for feedback.

[thatone]

And would it be weird to ask any of the girls I went on dates with recently in the past month, what exactly I did wrong? Just for feedback.

 

that's a terrible idea and will get you zero honest responses, so no, don't do that.

[Seneca]

Your advice sounds contrary to what most people said. Most people seem to say don't invite them over so soon. They'll let you know when they want to come over. They know what's up when you invite them, and they'll think you're just desperate or after sex.

It really depends on the situation. When you are making out pretty heavy. Um yeah, why wouldn't you... if you've just met her and haven't built rapport. Then no. And yes they will let you know if they want to come over. Mostly it's by body language. So interpret how they react to you. If they are getting physical with you, then move forward with it. On some occasions they will actually tell you they want to get a room...

 

Yes, when you make an invite they will know what's up. You both do. But you just act like it's just an invite. Because women will pretend that they are just going over to your place to look at your cool book collections... It's just up to you to lead. And it's only desperate if you ARE being desperate. Meaning, act like it's nothing. Be nonchalant about the whole thing...

 

I agree with your ida for the dates though. I try to pick something or some place fun. Not a typical bar or coffee shop. Either a cool activity, or if it is a bar, some unique, one-of-kind place.

 

But texting and calling everyday? That's again counter to what most people here, and what all the pick up artists say. Aren't you supposed to push-pull? Make it seem like you're not that needy? Calling and texting everyday comes off as needy, and as if you're not a busy man. Keep them guessing.

If your game sucks. There really is no point of trying to keep them guessing. Because odds are you will just f up... Some "pick up artists" can get away with not doing this because they KNOW what they are doing.

 

Yeah you don't want to call or text everyday. That's why I said nearly everyday. But be consistent in keeping in contact. Don't text or call her for a week and then disappear, because you want to keep her "guessing". Chances are she will just be pissed and move on.

 

But it's a give and take. If after a week you find yourself texting and calling her more than she is texting or calling you. Then you are screwing up somewhere.

 

But when it comes to dating. There really are no rules. I don't know how many women I've come across who has told me how an annoying guy keeps texting or calling them... a few weeks later they are dating that annoying guy...

 

Anyways, there's an Asian dating coach who helps Asian men become better at getting any type of women. The guy is a genius (literally he was a rocket engineer or something). I just added his website on my profile under my contact info. I'll leave it up for you so you can check it out...

[amantis]

ok Mooninite

I know what your problem is ... you are a virgin

i cant believe that you had so many dates and nothing happened ..

I was married for 6 years and then we got the divorce

I was new to the dating thing but still , i went to a online dating site , and the second girl i met we had sex on the second date and she called me zorro lol

If you have more then 2 dates with the same person, just take them home and have some sex... i tell you , you change and they can sense it

 

Im not saying that you need to have sex with someone after 2 dates , but you are a virgin , and maybe they know that something is wrong ...

 

That girl i had sex with was very attracted to me on the first date , so on the second date she wanted to have dinner and then she wanted to chill in my home and watch a movie lol

 

Just be confident

If i was a virgin at 25 years old , i would be scared and thinking what am i going to do if she wants to go to my place

 

You just need to get laid bro

Sorry if i sound a bit cold , but after so many dates you know that something is wrong

 

Btw , yesterday i went on a date with a nice girl , we kissed and we had a good time but theres no second date ... nothing is perfect

Oh and other thing , why the fk every guy waits until the end of the date to kiss ?

I see them , talk and laugh , kiss after 30 mnts , then we talk for a bit more , kiss again , hug , talk more ... why wait until the end ??

Edited April 15, 2012 by amantis