SJC2008 Posted April 11, 2012 Posted April 11, 2012 Most of you know my history and I need some feedback please about the last one. Had 3 dates with her, the 1st two were great and the 3rd was great. I totally got her sense of humor and am attracted to her. The problem was that she was so sublte that I couldn't tell if she liked me. She never called/texted and things fell apart after 3 texts. My lack of exp hurt me in that I didn't know some women will not initiate contact early on even if they like him, thus causing me to jump the gun. My problem is that I can't stop thinking about what went wrong. I go through cycles where I feel it was my fault and vice versa. I get mad at myself for the way I handled things then I get mad at her for some of the games she played. I keep wondering if I came on too strong, not strong enough. Anyway, I know it's not a validation issue bc the last girl I dated flaked after 3 and I honestly didn't care. The last 2 before that I did not get second dates and I did not care. So I know I liked her and I'm sure yall have read my responses on other threads that women rarely "hook" me right away. It's been about 3 weeks since things fell apart and we only went out 3 times. Does the fact that I feel so bad after only knowing ber for only 3 dates make me weak? May sound naive but keep my exp in mind. Thanks!
Author SJC2008 Posted April 11, 2012 Author Posted April 11, 2012 *The third date was decent, like we were in "shells"
Oxy Moronovich Posted April 11, 2012 Posted April 11, 2012 You should start talking more to women in general. That's bound to help you understand women more.
Oxy Moronovich Posted April 11, 2012 Posted April 11, 2012 By the way, when exactly was the last date with this chick?
sigurpol Posted April 11, 2012 Posted April 11, 2012 I don't know the details to all of this (I'll dig through your threads), but you're not being weak. You're just obsessing, which can be normal. You'll notice that some people on here are quick to move on and not even weigh any options at ALL as to "what could have happened". Some people discuss it, some are push-overs, and some stick to one girl/guy for a long time for their own personal reasons. It's a mixed bag. Take the advice someone left above me: try to see more women. It will give you a better understanding. You can't win 'em all.
Author SJC2008 Posted April 11, 2012 Author Posted April 11, 2012 By the way, when exactly was the last date with this chick? Our last date was almost 2 months ago. After the 3rd date she started to either test or flake. We parted ways about 6 weeks ago. I just feel horrible at losing the opportunity at getting to know what seemed like at first glace a great woman. I'm not taking all the blame though but I guess it's a moot point anyway. I tried to clear things up with hear but have not heard back so it's over. I'm pretty sure she's a vjrgin (too many things to list my hunch) which is why she was so subtle thus causing me to think she wasn't interested. The moral of the story is that I lose again and it fkn sucks and I'm sick and tired if this crap. I'll be ok eventually.
Author SJC2008 Posted April 11, 2012 Author Posted April 11, 2012 Not that it matters but for clarification purposes we parted ways 3 weeks ago.
Oxy Moronovich Posted April 11, 2012 Posted April 11, 2012 On a positive note, you're actually doing a lot better than many other guys. They can't even get to the third date. I'm wondering, has this experience made you consider multidating?
Author SJC2008 Posted April 11, 2012 Author Posted April 11, 2012 Yeah I thought about it that way too. As far as the muti dating goes I don't mind if a date or two overlaps in the begining but after that it's really not my style.
gaius Posted April 11, 2012 Posted April 11, 2012 You feel bad because you still want her. Does wanting a woman that bad after 3 dates make you weak? I don't think so if you're lonely. Loneliness does strange things to even the strongest people. Older virgin women are usually virgins because they are tough nuts to crack, so stop feeling that it was all your fault it went nowhere. Even the players probably aren't getting anywhere with her.
Author SJC2008 Posted April 11, 2012 Author Posted April 11, 2012 You feel bad because you still want her. Does wanting a woman that bad after 3 dates make you weak? I don't think so if you're lonely. Loneliness does strange things to even the strongest people. Older virgin women are usually virgins because they are tough nuts to crack, so stop feeling that it was all your fault it went nowhere. Even the players probably aren't getting anywhere with her. Thanks I was just curious if liking someone that much after 3 dates and feeling so bad after it not working out seemed normal because I've never really gotten to far with a woman. I wouln't say I'm lonely persay, as I could of went back to the one before her but decided not to because I was neutral about her and if I was lonely I woulda went back to her IMO. I don't put all the blame on me and aren't worried about cracking her virginity (if my hunch serves me correct). I don't mind waiting but aren't really looking to wait for marriage. I just feel bad becasue I think we could of had a great thing and her being so subtle, coupled with my lack of exp ruined it. Such is life.
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