Were On A Break Helpppp!

[Trendkill33]

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So my gf just told me she wanted to take a break and asked me to go see her, she lives about two hours away. She said that when were together she feels the happiest shes ever been but she hates to be away form me. We basicially lived together at school. I akes her about two weeks ago if she had fun with me, more fun than she would if she was not going out with me and then a few days ago she said that sometimes she does but she still has an amzing time with me. Now were on a break and i wont see her for about two months and its driving me nuts. I told her she could have all the time she needs and that if she wants to get back together when we get back to school that it would be nice. And she said she wants to get back when we get back to school. But idk if she just wants to be free for the summer. Im going nuts. When i left from visting her she just cried and cried and told me she loved me and that this summer would be fine and wed both be ok, but idk if she was crying b/c she thinks that were not gonjna get back together or what. I finallly told her i loved her and shes been telling me she loves me for about a month. weve been goin out for about 9 months. I probably should not call or talk to her for as long as she wants. Any opinions or anything would be greatly appreciated.

[dreamguy]

There's something most of us people do not understand. Perhaps some of us understand it but refuse to admit it.

When a person says "I want some time alone" or "I need a break" it can only mean one and only one thing: They are unsure about their feelings for you and they are confused (due to many factors which they will not always disclose) and they need some time apart to sort things out. They will normally use that time (away from you) in order to check (on their own) if they love and need you or if they just got used to being with you out of habit.

It is imperative to understand that they might further push the process ahead by dating someone else during their time apart from you to leave no room for doubt about whether you're the one they want or not. Don't worry, 9 out of 10 times the person they're dating will be a rebound.

If you call, pursue or chase them they will run away. Funny, but this is human nature. So logic does not work in this situation. Thinking that, logically, by telling someone how you feel or calling them / showing up constantly will make them come to their senses and wake up one day saying "wow I really love that person and I made a mistake by leaving them" is wrong.

 

If you don't believe me, pause for a second (whether you're a girl or a guy) and think to yourself: "What would I do if someone I was unsure and confused about kept on chasing me like hell". That's right, you would avoid them completely because it would really bother you and it would, eventually on the long run, make you lose all remaining interest you might have in them.

On the other hand, if they were to abstain from calling you then it would trigger your curiosity. Especially if you were on a daily contact with them, their silence would bother you so much that it would make you call and might even cause you to act in uncontrolled ways.

 

So, Trendkill33, the best thing to do is give her the time she needs. I'll say it again, at the risk of repeating myself on this forum, this is the behavior that will give you the biggest chance of getting that person back.

If she calls, answer her but keep the conversation light and short. You don't have to mention your feelings or keep talking about why you two had to break up. Don't even ask her if she's seeing anyone. Just ask her how she's doing and what she's been up to. Then, always be the one to hang up first by making up some plausible excuse. Don't tell her you will call her. Leave her thinking ! What she needs is a mixture of hope and doubt that one day you two will be back together. Give them to her in an appropriate dose and it will often work wonders for you.