JCBCello Posted April 11, 2012 Posted April 11, 2012 On every arguments my gf either throws a plate against the wall, stomps on her books, etc while yelling or swearing. It takes about several hours to her to finally calm down (mainly when I leave then come back). Now sure how common this is but it's getting annoying and sort of scary. She did this in the middle of the night too, waking up someone who was trying to sleep. The first this happened was in the 3rd month of our relationship (it's been 11 months now and she still does it sometimes).
Mr Scorpio Posted April 11, 2012 Posted April 11, 2012 Not good. It is only a matter of time before one of those plates heads your way. At that point, either you have to go or else she does.
Author JCBCello Posted April 11, 2012 Author Posted April 11, 2012 Not good. It is only a matter of time before one of those plates heads your way. At that point, either you have to go or else she does.But she has never directly thrown things at me.
CC12 Posted April 11, 2012 Posted April 11, 2012 But she has never directly thrown things at me. These things have a tendency to escalate. And hey, maybe she never will actually throw things at you or hit you, but she doesn't handle her anger in an appropriate, healthy way. That's a really bad sign. Unfortunately it is kind of common, although that still doesn't make it okay or something you should tolerate. Have you told her that the way she expresses her anger scares you?
Philosoraptor Posted April 11, 2012 Posted April 11, 2012 This is a staple of the emotionally immature. I had one, things were miserable, it ended; I'm happy now.
oldguy Posted April 11, 2012 Posted April 11, 2012 On every arguments my gf either throws a plate against the wall, stomps on her books, etc while yelling or swearing. It takes about several hours to her to finally calm down (mainly when I leave then come back). Now sure how common this is but it's getting annoying and sort of scary. She did this in the middle of the night too, waking up someone who was trying to sleep. The first this happened was in the 3rd month of our relationship (it's been 11 months now and she still does it sometimes). Have you told her, in no uncertain terms to stop? I knew someone who' SO would through a glass of whatever they where drinking in his face when they got into an argument until he demanded she stopped. Behavior rarely changes without some initiative to do so.
Author JCBCello Posted April 11, 2012 Author Posted April 11, 2012 (edited) I told her several times how it made me feel uneased to which she ends up apologizing afterwards. However, she does it again and again. Hard to see someone you love acting in such destructive and immature manner. Edited April 11, 2012 by JCBCello
oldguy Posted April 12, 2012 Posted April 12, 2012 (edited) I told her several times how it made me feel uneased to which she ends up apologizing afterwards. However, she does it again and again. Hard to see someone you love acting in such destructive and immature manner. So to my question; "Have you told her, in no uncertain terms to stop"? That would be a "no". When she is mad she is evoking a favorable response from you, for whatever reason that is favorable to her. My guess is she is very well aware of how it makes you feel & how you react, that is why she continues to do it. If what your doing isn't working you have to change what your doing. You also should be engaging her while she's throwing her hissy fit, unless she is throwing plates at you. In that case it is domestic abuse & you need to live somewhere else. As a disclaimer; you don't want to EVER engage her physically or try to restrain her from doing this, you don't want to mimic her behavior by breaking things. You can yell at her & tell her to STOP this behavior, that you've had enough of it. Choose your own emotionally charged & descriptive words of course However, if you challenge her, you had better be prepared to carry through because she WILL call your bluff. Example; if you tell her, "i'm going to pack up & move out", you better be packing & moving. Edited April 12, 2012 by oldguy 1
TaraMaiden Posted April 12, 2012 Posted April 12, 2012 no, it's not acceptable, although unfortunately it is probably more common than anyone thinks. But it will escalate. she needs - at best - an anger management course, and at worst - psychological counselling as to what makes he snap like that. you're neither trained nor equipped to deal with something like this, and nor should you have to.
jorgie4 Posted April 14, 2012 Posted April 14, 2012 Common for someone with anger management issues...yes. Common for people who can deal with conflict before it reaches that extreme stage...no.
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