staringspace Posted April 10, 2012 Posted April 10, 2012 Just need a rant I guess, can anyone give me some words of advice? I found out last night that my ex actually has got himself into an actual relationship with this girl I was on about in my previous posts, a month after we broke our 3 1/2 year relationship off. I'm a bag of emotions at the moment - angry, amused, sad. I don't really know how I should feel about it. The funny thing is, it didn't really affect me last night - it was probably because I was getting horrendously drunk with friends, but today it's hit me I guess. I understand he's moving on and I realised that I really don't want him back - but the thing that gets me is that everything he's said, even when I saw him last week to give him his stuff back, has all been lies. It's obvious he cares about a new relationship more than he does salvaging a friendship in the future with a person he's known for years, and I think that is what hurts at the end of the day. He was there for me over a very hard time, and I just feel like that memory is now tarnished because he's in it. Mlah, could do with a few words of wisdom. I'm not religious, but I kind of wish he would go to hell right now.
TaraMaiden Posted April 10, 2012 Posted April 10, 2012 He had her lined up before you split, i guarantee it... This isn't moving on, this is 'waiting in the wings'... I would almost bet on the fact that he emotionally strayed BEFORE you guys split... he had a wanderlust already. Well, good riddance... she's got a cheater on her hands.... 1
BewitchedandBothered Posted April 10, 2012 Posted April 10, 2012 He had her lined up before you split, i guarantee it... This isn't moving on, this is 'waiting in the wings'... I would almost bet on the fact that he emotionally strayed BEFORE you guys split... he had a wanderlust already. Well, good riddance... she's got a cheater on her hands.... As my friend said to me "the new girl got the booby prize"--love to share that with people because it is very true when you consider what you had and what you know she is dealing with;) That is assuming the fellow won't change...But...do they really change for the new one?
Mack05 Posted April 11, 2012 Posted April 11, 2012 (edited) He had her lined up before you split, i guarantee it... This isn't moving on, this is 'waiting in the wings'... I would almost bet on the fact that he emotionally strayed BEFORE you guys split... he had a wanderlust already. Well, good riddance... she's got a cheater on her hands.... I recently discovered my last ex is in a new relationship and we are NC only around 6 weeks. This is so hurtful because clearly many lies have been told and this just adds even more unanswered questions for me. Maybe she had a replacement lined up. Maybe this is a rebound. Truth is I will never know. I often wondered if we both matured, learnt lessons, truly forgave each other for past pain caused and were honest with ourselves (and each other) that could we reconnect in the future. I now understand and accept that is now impossible... Here is where you have to be a big person, you have to be a strong person. My ex is not a bad person, just cause she has moved on fast. I didn't bring the best out in her, due to my own personal problems at the time (which I will always be sorry for). Our relationship was not good. Far from it. I believe under the right circumstances it could have been special, but ces't le vie. Sometimes it's hard to wish a person well when we are hurting and angry. I hope my ex is happy and stays that way. Despite the hurt we caused each other, I want good things for her. What is important now is wanting good things for myself. When we hear potentially upsetting news like this its how we respond determines how well we heal and how we form future relationships. It is so crucial to learn lessons from past relationships and use them so that future relationships are better. I have a friend (recently made) who has made it clear that she wants more. It would be easy knowing my ex has moved on so quick, to go on dates and have a wait and see attitude. I know I mustn't though. Using a friend to fill a saddness within me is not fair on her and it's not fair on me. She is awesome and its hard to just let her go, but I now truly believe in "what is for you won't pass you by". You need to stop asking the questions you will never get answered. Now is a time to display strength of character. To look deep within yourself and take an understanding and acceptance that you can't control an ex's actions. Just your own. If you can be happy within yourself (i.e. the person who you are) when the hurt is at its worst then you are half way up the mountain. Sure you may take a few steps back down. I have taken back steps (even today) but I will dig my heels in until I am ready to climb back up again. It's about moving forward when you least feel like it. Doing something positive everyday, instead of focusing on what they said or did. The last minute and a half of my signature is what life is all about. Forgive your ex. Genuinely hope they find happiness, love yourself and learn from your past mstakes. I promise you when the time is right, the right person for you will come into your life and you will never look back... Edited April 11, 2012 by Mack05 1
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