How did the myth come about that women arent as visual or into looks as men are?

[SteveC80]

Its hillarious when you see posts about how visual and shallow men are yet women are soemhow emotional creatures who care whats on the inside of a person :laugh:

 

The majority of a lot of womens lives are about VANITY and how they look and how other Men and women look

 

When i was a scrawny teenager women ignored me laughed at me for approaching and some treated me mean i got ripped grew a few inches in height all of a sudden women were all over me, hell i had hundreds of married women hitting on me simply because they said i was hotter then their husband

 

Lets take it a step further women buy albums from bands/musicians they thikn are hot even if they dont like the music men dont do that **** nearly as much

 

Women have helped get presidents because they were good looking [Kennedy]

 

So clearly women are highly effected by a mans looks and unlike men who just get the urge to have sex when it comes to good looks wpmen get that and put good looking people on a moral pedestal

[NeverDated]

Its hillarious when you see posts about how visual and shallow men are yet women are soemhow emotional creatures who care whats on the inside of a person :laugh:

Well that bolded part is BS, lol.

 

Whenever I hear the phrase used, I think of it in terms of sexuality. Men work on visual cues. Us women tend to work on more tactile and emotional cues. Men are more aroused by the site of cleavage, whereas women are more aroused by hair stroking or whispers in the ear. I know there are exceptions, but that's just how I always took it.

 

I'm still lol'ing over the idea that we're somehow more ethereal creatures who stare deep into the depths of a man's soul...hehehe...

[veggirl]

IME, most men are more "forgiving" about looks than women. I mean, guys will think a larger range of girls are "hot" than girls will think of guys.

 

as far as who puts more weight on looks, I don't know...I see girls with less attractive guys more, I think...

[zengirl]

Well, to be fair, men ARE more likely to be visually oriented. That's statistically proven. Boys are much more likely to be visually oriented as well as visual learners. They are more likely to seek visual outlets for everything, including sex. Women are more likely to want to find an emotional story in it.

 

Women are thusly attracted to looks which also "ping" their emotional chords. That does not mean they don't consider handsomeness. I would say individual women are likely to have a smaller slice of "men who are attractive," but that they are more likely to desire different things from each other, visually and attraction wise, than men are, overall. (Not that men all want the same thing, but it is easier to find an agreed-upon version of a very attractive female to most males than it is for women.) You'll notice with celebrities, their aura (good boy or bad boy, depending on the gal) will attract them to women as much as their looks. Viewing a soap opera would perhaps illustrate this well.

 

Of course, women are affected by looks, but I think it's more the story of a man, along with his corresponding looks, that intrigues a lot of women. Kennedy is a good example of that.

[dasein]

It's just more of an endless spew of media, political and marketing agitprop over the last 50 years equating to "women = good, men = bad." I learned the truth long ago when a female boss of mine knew I was having relationship trouble with my GF, who had given me all kinds of "noise" that my boss cut through and said "it's all about looks with women, don't let anyone ever tell you otherwise."

 

I was OW at the time due to boozing and bad diet, my boss was dropping me a hint, took her advice to heart, lost 50 pounds in a few months, had every woman after me who met me. Thanked my boss for her advice even as she herself was hitting on me too despite being married. Started to see the truth revealed then, despite all the pop culture media bullsh-t.

[SteveC80]

It's just more of an endless spew of media, political and marketing agitprop over the last 50 years equating to "women = good, men = bad." I learned the truth long ago when a female boss of mine knew I was having relationship trouble with my GF, who had given me all kinds of "noise" that my boss cut through and said "it's all about looks with women, don't let anyone ever tell you otherwise."

 

I was OW at the time due to boozing and bad diet, my boss was dropping me a hint, took her advice to heart, lost 50 pounds in a few months, had every woman after me who met me. Thanked my boss for her advice even as she herself was hitting on me too despite being married. Started to see the truth revealed then, despite all the pop culture media bullsh-t.

 

I agree,women may find less men attratcive then vice versa but the few men they do find attractive theyre extremely cutthroat and even if the guy or they are married theyll do whatever it takes to get him

 

The worst was having friends and acquaintances women hitting on me in like REALLY?

 

Womens hormones can be driven crazy more then guys when they see a good looking specimen and they seem to have less integrity then men when it comes to lines because theyre allowed to get away with more when it comes to flirting

[Feelsgoodman]

It's a lie invented and perpetuated by women to further the female agenda. The idea that women are the "fairer sex" and are somehow more noble and less shallow than men goes back to the Victorian era (incidentally, so does feminism..)

[Kamille]

The last time I saw the "men are more visual" phrase, it was used by a man, to justify why men have strict physical preferences.

 

I personally don't care which one of the two genders is more visual. I think it's a red herring of an argument. There are members of both gender who are shallow, members of both gender who aren't, with most people being somewhere in between the extremes.

 

Neither men nor women are pure, nor should they be. We're humans, not angels.

[KR10N]

Its hillarious when you see posts about how visual and shallow men are yet women are soemhow emotional creatures who care whats on the inside of a person :laugh:

Double standards.

 

The majority of a lot of womens lives are about VANITY and how they look and how other Men and women look

For most, yes.

 

When i was a scrawny teenager women ignored me laughed at me for approaching and some treated me mean i got ripped grew a few inches in height all of a sudden women were all over me, hell i had hundreds of married women hitting on me simply because they said i was hotter then their husband

Those sluts!

 

Lets take it a step further women buy albums from bands/musicians they thikn are hot even if they dont like the music men dont do that **** nearly as much

Mmm... no. Marilyn Manson is NOT hot. Nor are the members of: Dope, Mushroomhead, Metallica, A Perfect Circle, Tool, etc. blah blah blah. But they all make great music.

 

Women have helped get presidents because they were good looking [Kennedy]

 

So clearly women are highly effected by a mans looks and unlike men who just get the urge to have sex when it comes to good looks wpmen get that and put good looking people on a moral pedestal

Blah blah blah. Everyone just needs to break the double standard mold. Live and let live.

[prune juice]

Its hillarious when you see posts about how visual and shallow men are yet women are soemhow emotional creatures who care whats on the inside of a person :laugh:

 

The majority of a lot of womens lives are about VANITY and how they look and how other Men and women look

 

When i was a scrawny teenager women ignored me laughed at me for approaching and some treated me mean i got ripped grew a few inches in height all of a sudden women were all over me, hell i had hundreds of married women hitting on me simply because they said i was hotter then their husband

 

Lets take it a step further women buy albums from bands/musicians they thikn are hot even if they dont like the music men dont do that **** nearly as much

 

Women have helped get presidents because they were good looking [Kennedy]

 

So clearly women are highly effected by a mans looks and unlike men who just get the urge to have sex when it comes to good looks wpmen get that and put good looking people on a moral pedestal

 

it came about because gals repeat it verbally. anyone with experience knows it is a myth.

[Imported]

How did the myth come about that women arent as visual or into looks as men are?

 

 

I believe it was started by ugly dudes that have hopes of getting women far better looking than themselves. Guys in that situation are hopeful that such things are true.

 

If these guys do manage to offer something ($$$ related usually), good chance their dream girl will cheat on them with the good looking poolboy that works out.

 

Women fixate more on my arms than I have ever fixated on their boobs or ass.

[somedude81]

Females of just about every species on Earth are more picky then the males. Humans are no exception. And a big part of that is carrying more about looks the the males do.

 

IME, most men are more "forgiving" about looks than women. I mean, guys will think a larger range of girls are "hot" than girls will think of guys.

[rocketman122]

woman are just as visual as men. I wouldnt say more so, but it depends on the person. for me face is everything and body less so because you can always go to the gym and better yourself. for me a woman who is feminine and has sex appeal is way more important than beauty. she has to know how to drive me crazy. beauty lasts only so long.

 

when I was on an online dating site it was very obvious woman were about the visual. I didnt write much in my profile but did note that I only date woman older than me, I dont want children and I dont want a smoker and repeatedly get daily messages from those who are too impulsive, who are looking to have children, are younger than me, and are smokers. after I send them a "you look interesting, but not thank you, we are not compatible" reply & they return with a :"oh, I missed that part, sorry...still no chance you'd be willing to reconsider?"

 

woman are very much visual, dont let anyone tell you otherwise. physical attraction is primal. you need to have a personality as well though.

Edited April 11, 2012 by rocketman122

[setsenia]

Its hillarious when you see posts about how visual and shallow men are yet women are soemhow emotional creatures who care whats on the inside of a person :laugh:

 

 

Where did you hear this? Definitely is a myth, because it's just as important to society that men have a six pack, have a huge member and muscle bulging figure to be deemed attractive, just like women are expected to have size C-D tits and a size 2 waistline. It's society with unrealistic expectations for both men and women. Of course if a screaming hot male model walks in the room, it will grab a woman's attention as opposed to an average looking guy.

[Carlos S]

I thought that was the case because I heard it from Dr Phil. And you can't argue with that mustache

[mesmerized]

As a woman who talks openly with other women, yes, we're shallow. We let a good looking guy get away with a lot of things and we fantasize of having babies with the hottest guys. lol

 

I think men are the one who talk about this "myth" the most because it's hard to admit for an unattractive guy that getting a hot girl might not be possible for him. Look at movies, a good chunk of comedy movies are about a nerdy or conventionally unattractive guy being able to get a "hot" girl! To me these movies are mostly directed at men, to give them hope and perhaps even a sense of entitlement that no matter how they look, the society owes them a hot girl!

[rocketman122]

As a woman who talks openly with other women, yes, we're shallow.

 

Wow, I give you credit for admitting it so openly. and I respect you. Bravo!

[ThaWholigan]

As a woman who talks openly with other women, yes, we're shallow. We let a good looking guy get away with a lot of things and we fantasize of having babies with the hottest guys. lol

 

I think men are the one who talk about this "myth" the most because it's hard to admit for an unattractive guy that getting a hot girl might not be possible for him. Look at movies, a good chunk of comedy movies are about a nerdy or conventionally unattractive guy being able to get a "hot" girl! To me these movies are mostly directed at men, to give them hope and perhaps even a sense of entitlement that no matter how they look, the society owes them a hot girl!

To be honest, I don't think anyone should be with someone they find unattractive - even if they're "ugly".

[mesmerized]

To be honest, I don't think anyone should be with someone they find unattractive - even if they're "ugly".

 

Sure, but they can't complain when they can't find someone either.

[ThaWholigan]

Sure, but they can't complain when they can't find someone either.

Those same people who complain would be complaining about something else if they found a person in my opinion. I'm somewhat comfortable with my status so I have nothing to complain about.

[dasein]

Sure, but they can't complain when they can't find someone either.

 

I think it's just as much about women never listing "looks" at the top of their mile long criteria lists, yet selecting on looks to the same extent men do, as it is about men deluding themselves. We hear "he's so funny, smart, blablabla" as "he's HOT, and so I will attribute all these other 'substantial' qualities to him despite that there's not much indication he really has them." After enough of this, and being selected unduly on looks ourselves v other features, we realize that any claims that women are more into substantial qualities than men is just more anti male propaganda.

[HopelessRomantic76]

Wow, I give you credit for admitting it so openly. and I respect you. Bravo!

 

Mesmerized is pretty open about her shallowness but she does not speak for all or even most women

[somedude81]

Sure, but they can't complain when they can't find someone either.

And you can't complain when you get "used" for sex.

[zengirl]

Honestly, I don't think we can use the terms "visual" and "shallow" so interchangeably.

 

I meet many shallow women and shallow men. When women don't describe a man visually as their first instinct, they are truly expressing themselves in THEIR way (which, on average, is less visual). That doesn't mean they're being deep or showing character. I also don't see anything wrong with being visual -- hubby is very visual, including with attraction, but he's not particularly shallow.

 

I don't find either sex has a monopoly on being "shallow." I do think the orientations and ways each gender is more likely to express and think about their shallowness, if they are shallow, is often different and distinct. But no better or worse.

 

Personally, I find shallow people tedious, but I see nothing morally wrong with being shallow either. Some people are truly that simple. C'est la vie.

[RiverRunning]

I guess I'm not very picky. My first ex was very scrawny and very much...NOT good-looking. Not in conventional standards. Not among anyone I knew (immediately after the break-up, I had friends crowing: "I STILL don't see how you could go out with him. He was so ugly!"). Is it fair to say that when I learned who he was as a person, he became VERY ugly? Yet when we first met and I thought the Heavens opened up for him, he was the hottest thing on Earth.

 

My last ex actually did have a visual deformity - a big, very visible birthmark. When we were out in public, I could sometimes hear people making remarks about it (often kids, with their parents trying to shush them). That birthmark became a big turn-on for me, actually.

 

I met another guy who resembled my ex - and he had the SAME birthmark - and my heart was aflutter! Even with or without the birthmark, I still feel my ex was very attractive...and he was shorter than me (he was 5'5", so there were a few inches of difference between us). He had more of a scrawny build but was a bit overweight.

 

AND I LOVED HIS LITTLE POT BELLY. AHHHHH! We would watch TV and I'd take naps on his belly. Huge turn-on.

 

There is a WIDE array of what people find attractive. It does seem to me that men have more limited interest in what is conventionally beautiful, with a few outliers here and there. With women, it DOES seem like there's a crazy array of what women find attractive. I may well be the only woman out there into birthmarks, pot bellies and short stature on a guy. But probably not. My tastes are not conventional, but I think that's fairly common among women. We all have a type.

 

Is it all about looks? Yes and no. I think this is a trick question in that it seems to suggest there is ONLY one 'good' look - and that's being conventionally good-looking. We've demonstrated here among all of us that we all have wildly differing tastes.

 

It is very much about looks in that I probably wouldn't date someone I wasn't physically attracted to. It just wouldn't work out. That's not shallow...that's saving two people from a miserable relationship. Doesn't mean that person's ugly, just not my type.