loveinglife Posted April 10, 2012 Posted April 10, 2012 Found this site and love it! You people have great advice! Anyways...need your opinion on something please. My boyfriend got me a promise ring. Which I am thrilled about:D My only thing is we have been talking about marriage and becoming engaged for awhile now. So when he I received the promise ring instead of am engagement ring, I felt alittle "ripped off" lol He said he did this to show his commitment until he can afford an engagement ring, but it will be soon. He's knows I have never been about money, and would except a cheap ring. So I am just wondering if that is just an excuse and he does not really want to get engaged right now or what. He says he does and all. And he even wants a promise ring. Should I just stop being so stupid and be happy and believe in him, or so you think there's something more to it?
Philosoraptor Posted April 10, 2012 Posted April 10, 2012 Even if you don't need anything big he may want to get you something you could be proud of and show off. Are you happy with the relationship and do you believe he wants to marry you? If so, then just enjoy the ride and don't overthink things.
CarrieT Posted April 10, 2012 Posted April 10, 2012 How old are both of you and how long have you been together? I find the whole concept of a "promise ring" rather juvenile and indicative of youth. When mature, adult relationships form and the the concept of marriage is on the table, there is rarely a promise ring - there is an actual engagement. 1
Author loveinglife Posted April 10, 2012 Author Posted April 10, 2012 Yea thats why I didnt mention our ages. We are in our 30's. To me it is very immature. I did not know how to tell him that without hurting his feelings. He knew I wanted the engagement ring, and then I get this.
veggirl Posted April 10, 2012 Posted April 10, 2012 A promise ring is something stupid high school kids give each other. If he wants to marry you, he needs to give you an engagement ring. He's using $$ as an excuse, and just wasted more on a "promise ring"
make me believe Posted April 10, 2012 Posted April 10, 2012 If money is the reason he hasn't bought an engagement ring yet, it doesn't make sense that he'd go out & spend some on a promise ring... he should've just kept that money and saved it for an engagement ring. But I'm guessing the money thing is just an excuse to hold you off for awhile because he doesn't really want to get married. I would be totally insulted if I was talking about marriage with a partner and he went out & got me a promise ring. And honestly... I would be embarassed to have to explain to people that it wasn't an engagment ring, but merely a "promise ring." It just sounds so high school. How long have you two been together? When you talk about marriage, what are the talks like? It seems like he is stalling & using money as an excuse to not marry you. I think the promise ring was an attempt to placate you. And he wants to wear one too?? Seriously? WHY? So you guys can pretend to be married and play husband & wife without actually BEING married? Blah! How insulting! 1
dasein Posted April 10, 2012 Posted April 10, 2012 Does the promise ring have a flippety flappity butterfly on it? or a dancedy prancedy unicorn? Glittery glisteny snow globe? OP kidding aside he probably got some bad advice from someone, could have been someone in a jewelry store, an ad somewhere, dumbass friend, who knows? Don't hold it against him. Here's your chance to step up and let him know gently that when it comes time to buy you an engagement ring, he should involve you in the process. "Thanks so much for the ring, and just so ya know, don't just run off and buy the next one without a consult!" Good luck.
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