Danie Posted April 10, 2012 Posted April 10, 2012 Where is the line between healthy compromise and authenticity of self? If you read my few posts here you can get an idea of where my life is at, a very brief idea anyway. We talked this weekend. We’ve nothing really resolved, but we have chips on the table. I want what I want. My husband wants what he wants. I’m having a hard time with understanding where my line is at in this regard. I know it’s probably something I can only answer for myself but would very much appreciate any words you all would share with me.
Philosoraptor Posted April 10, 2012 Posted April 10, 2012 You can only bend as long as you can be happy with the compromise. If you are unhappy with something you didn't compromise, you gave in and that could lead to resentment.
quankanne Posted April 10, 2012 Posted April 10, 2012 compromise is a fine art in a relationship ... the trick is to try to ensure that the compromise is for the good of that relationship, not to subjugate one or another. And the other person must also be vested in that compromise, not just think "Hah! She gave in." It's definitely an awareness of the give & take you have. talk it out some more and look at options. Point out what you give up and what he gains, as well as what you gain when he compromises. The answer is usually somewhere in that conversation. however, if one or both of y'all are taking a hard-line stance on the issue, it's gonna be hard, and you just may find that you sacrifice your integrity for the better of the relationship. Then the question becomes, can you live with that decision?
Author Danie Posted April 10, 2012 Author Posted April 10, 2012 All these years I believe I’ve compromised many times over many things. For the most part I’m ok with all of these compromises. I’m an easy going type of person. Normally I just go with the flow and enjoy the ride. I think this maybe where I’ve gotten myself into trouble because I have been so easy going in the past. I’m not sure I can be ok with the compromises that are presenting themselves to me. Its as if these are not really compromises but sell outs. We have not gotten to the point of actually verbalizing real ideas for compromise. We are just at the point of his wants and my wants.
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